Need some more help?

Question

The frist scene describes the main character staring otu the prison bus window and seeing the prison ahead. Should I just blatantly start describing the prison or put it into small clumps?
Hopefully you understand. Thanks

Answer 1

Nobody can answer that for you without knowing your writing style and knowing the story. The style in which you write your book has to be yours, not somebody else's. Write it the way you feel it - that is the only answer I can give you. Write it in keeping with the way you have written the rest of the book.

Personally, I would disagree with the answer above me. Before you go to prison, you have heard about it. You have a general idea of what is ahead for you. So I wouldn't say you had to limit yourself to describing what he can see in front of his eyes. That is kind of boring, isn't it?

Perhaps someone is sitting on the bus with him who is a returning prisoner. That person could be sitting there telling horror stories to "scare the newbie" about conditions inside. That could be an effective and scary scene. Maybe it is several returnees all laughing and trying to scare the new guy with stories about life on the inside. How scary would that be if you had never been to prison before?

Writing about just what he sees through the window sounds very cliche and ordinary to me. I would try a more creative and unique approach.

Pax - C

Answer 2

Give a physical description of ONLY WHAT THEY SEE from the window and then elaborate on exactly what type of gut-wrenching reaction of your character and the thoughts/memories are invoked by these images.

Describe more of the prison later on as you go.

Answer 3

I like the small clump idea...it more reflects our non-linear thought process...small flashbacks/spring foward to view out window...looking out window/flashback/looking out window/flashback...

Funner to read that way, too...and that's how I am...I'll be looking at something, and then turn inward for a moment...

So go with small clumps...feel free to email tidbits...I love creative writing, and I'm a good idea man...free of charge...and I'm a trained editor...