Hi all. so i found out im about 6 weeks pregnant. I am going to be having an abortion ( i just need to schedual it lol) I am just not sure if i should tell my ex (who would be the father). What do u think should i tell him or no????
Please dont tell me ur opinions on abortion!!! Just answer my question. Ive made up my mind. thankyou!!
2007-09-16 14:31:09 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
thankyou dolyn!!! I am picking u as a best answer.
also i didnt mean to offend ppl w the lol. I didnt mean it in a bad way. sry.
2007-09-16 15:09:28 · update #1
If he were your current BF, I'd say yes. But, if he's just an ex, than don't bother. No need to be worried about and/or argue about a baby you have already decided you aren't going to have. Also, I haven't even looked at the other answers, but I KNOW 30 of them are telling you that you are going to hell or something. Ignore them. You do what you need to do, and just make sure you find a reputable clinic. Good luck.
2007-09-16 15:06:54 · answer #1 · answered by Dolyn 6 · 2⤊ 5⤋
well, I wont give an opinion on aborting a child...that is your cross to bear. I only hope you are thinking about everyone involved. not just the 9 months...but the rest of everyone's lives. Oops...opinions..."lol". That "LOL" seems a little insensitive and out of place, huh?? well anyway, yes...he should know, if no one else in the world, he should, because so many selfish women think that it's "their" body and they will do with it what they wish. Thats dandy. But that is HIS child. You were blessed, be it by nature, or God, whatever you believe to be a vessel of life...and the life inside you right now is not your own. It's pieces of two lives. So share it with him, and if you cant do that, you should look very closely at the reason for that, and then maybe come back and ask some opinions on abortion. Im by no means judgmental, just chock-full of experience, and have seen a lot of regret in my life. I wish you the best.
2007-09-16 14:52:21 · answer #2 · answered by j_andrews8081 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, no one here knows your "ex". Only you know him, and how he would handle the information.
On the one hand, if you are sure he is the father, then technically, he has a right to know that he fathered a baby and you are terminating the pregnancy.
On the other hand, you have enough to deal with right now, and if he were to go a little crazy on you, what would you do? Unless you are sort of, maybe, hoping on some level that he tells you he wants to get back together with you and wants you to keep the pregnancy?
Pregnancy makes the best of us freak out in some way or another. Anyone can panic and make bad decisions. Please think long and hard about what you are about to do. There really is more than one answer.
And if it were me, yeah, I'd tell him. He may just want to go with you to be there for moral support, which would be nice.
Good luck.
2007-09-16 14:49:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should tell him. If you don't, and you go through with it, and he finds out later, there is no telling how he would react. All I can tell you is that abortion seems like a procedure or a way to get rid of a problem. It is not. As someone who has counseled women in the past who have had abortions, unless you have no conscience, you will live with this for the rest of your life. It will haunt you. I guess you have to ask yourself, Would you rather be "bothered" with a child for the next 18 years or haunted by the painful fact that you ended something that could have brought joy to your (and others') life, for the rest of your life? I am not trying to be judgmental, but I want you to see both sides of it. I have seen the aftermath of this in MANY women, and it is just horrible and immensely sad. Once you do it, you can't reverse it, and what if you never get pregnant again?
Good luck to you. I will keep you in my prayers.
2007-09-16 15:12:22 · answer #4 · answered by America_27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, an abortion is traumatic with out people preaching to you too, I have never had one but am definitely pro-choice.
There are two questions you need to think about. His reaction if he found out after? Happy, sad, relieved etc
Or what his reaction would be if you told him now.
Depending on your reason for the abortion (money, age, no relationship with the father) definitely factors into whether or not to tell him now/later/at all.
I probably have just confused you but you know your ex and how he would react because he still may find out no matter how much you keep it a secret, but he may be relieved that you took care of the situation. Or would he be miffed that you didn't tell him because.........what ever the reason you need to think before you act, you can't take this back.
Good luck, you will be fine.
2007-09-16 14:44:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I definitely think you should tell him. half of the baby/fetus/whatever you chose to call it at this point belongs to him. So, although its your body and your choice it would only seem fair that he at least has the right to know. Even if for the simple fact that maybe in the future when he is married and trying to have a family....what if they cant get pregnant. At least he knows that HE has the ability and theyll know where to start fertility treatment. This is just one example that comes to mind when I think of why he has every right to know. Not to mention the fact that given your lax attitude on the subject "i just need to schedule it...lol" it seems you've probably not REALLY really thought about how this is going to effect you emotionally, and it'll be important to have him there. afterall, he is the only other person who will really be able to relate and still not on the level that youll be dealing with things. i am pro-choice...I am not judging you but it sincerely sounds like you are being waaaaaaaaaay to relaxed about this whole thing. I wish you all the best.
2007-09-16 15:00:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell the father, its true that this is your body but in your body lives a child that is part of your ex-boyfriend. If you do not want to keep the baby then give up your rights to the child and let your x take responsibility. Also there are A LOT of great people in the world who want to have a child but can not and maybe you can help them have their dreams come true.This is a living child who is Innocent and does not deserve to die.
2007-09-16 15:42:39 · answer #7 · answered by Amma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We'll you have already made up your mind about having an abortion, so if I were you, I would go ahead and tell him. It's nothing he can do or say to change your mind. But I think he does deserve a right to know that he did father a child. Maybe it will tell him that he needs to be more careful in the future. Also, why do you have to go through this by your self? He might not go with you to have the abortion, but at least he will go through the experience for at least one min.
2007-09-16 14:51:34 · answer #8 · answered by The one and only 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you should tell him he also has a choice in the matter and just know he could take you to court over this matter to keep you from terminating. I understand you dont want to hear about abortion opinions, but you really dont seem very remorseful about doing this, when you ad in your little "LoL' after saying you still need to schedule the appointment, So I agree you should not parent a child but you may still want to consider adoption, you are taking a life and this can have serious effects on yourself, most women dont realize how much this can psychologically effect them for feeling guilty about taking a life, because you are after all taking a life.. But good luck w/ whatever u do
2007-09-16 14:41:08 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
LOL.. You come into this group and expect anything less than getting attacked with a question like that? I had an answer deleted by a moderator for telling someone to kill a raccoon causing physical damage to his property.
Anyways, yeah, I think you should tell him and deal with this. I understand why you don't want to, but it's not like you've considered taking his opinion into account. If you're going to make the decision, make it like an adult and tell him it's been made.
Edit: LOL... Way to take the easy path. Oh well, it's not like the guy deserves any respect. He went and got you all knocked up without your permission, right?
2007-09-16 14:41:13 · answer #10 · answered by Crypt 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Please, think long and hard about what you're doing. I had an abortion when I was younger and a couple years later it started eating away at me. It is something I have to live with each and everyday and I can not even explain the guilt I feel but it's heartbreaking looking back onto my choice.
That being said, yes he should know. It may be YOUR body, but it's BOTH of your's baby. He should know.
2007-09-16 15:06:39 · answer #11 · answered by Momma! 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋