2007-09-16 14:15:08 · 32 answers · asked by Leona 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Tough love is the only way to handle such a situation. You are being a good mother by leaving him in and hopefully letting him hit bottom - Maybe it will be a wake up call.
2007-09-16 14:18:55 · answer #1 · answered by CherryCheri 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
My best friend's son was arrested and booked. At about 3 in the morning his son called to bail him out. My friend asked to speak with policeman in charge. He asked what the offense. How long would he be in jail if he did not do anything. How good or bad the food was. The cop answered all the questions. Then my friend said keep him. Sounds like I'll know where he is and that he is eating three meals a day.
Let your son learn his own lessons. Also, rent his room he can over later and pick up his stuff and have a happy life somewhere else.
2007-09-16 14:24:33 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say leave him in no matter how difficult or cruel it sounds. It's not the first tme he's done this so he's going to get the feeling that he can go do it again because he has his mom to cover his butt. By leaving him in, it'll hopefully serve as a wake up call when he realizes no one is coming to get him out. It'll just get worse the more you allow it to. Stop it now before he does something worse.
2007-09-16 14:45:17 · answer #3 · answered by E_ddie56 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should have left him in the first time, and prayed that he would see something while there to know that was not what he wanted to do with his life. Same thing happened to my 18 year old son a few years ago. He was 3 months shy of graduating with honors from high school and got caught with MJ at school. Expelled, jailed. Decided to not bail him out, but his girlfriend and her mom (whom I never agreed with on any issues) bailed him out. Thankfully, when court date came around , an aunt and uncle 8 hours away asked the judge if he could go live with them, and the judge let him. We still had problems with the gf and mom, but finally they broke up. He went back and got his GED and is graduating from a technical college in Nov., and has moved on from this type of activity. He made a lot of bad choices and had to grow up fast. It was tough on me, but now I see if he would not have gotten in trouble and been allowed to move away from here, it would have only gotten worse. Bailing him out is only enabling the situation. Good Luck! and God Bless you both!
2007-09-16 14:28:07 · answer #4 · answered by onceisenoughilearnedmylesson 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You sound like tough Love. It is alright to a certain degree, but hopefully, you have been there for him in the beginning. Or were you the kind of Mother who didn't give a rats *** , on where he was, how he got his money or what he did ? Sounds as if you don't care, what happens to your boy. My son has been arrested six times, for drinking, and I never gave up on him. He is now a wonderful Father, and wants to walk the straight and narrow. Don't give up on your son. He is young and needs some Family support. Like it says in the Holy Bible: And this too, shall pass. Let him know you care. Hopefully, you do care, if not then I feel sorry for your son.
2007-09-16 14:22:50 · answer #5 · answered by Norskeyenta 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I agree. Leave him there.
If you bailed him out once before and he has repeated the illeagal behavior then he hasn't learned anything from his mistake. More than likely if he is involved in drugs he will continue to repeat this behavior. He needs drug treatment and maybe the courts can help to get him there.
You might as well not waste any more of your money on bond, save it for something better.
2007-09-16 14:20:41 · answer #6 · answered by woman38 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
everyone's saying to leave him in , hell , i would say the same thing. But in a different perspective i believe you are the only one to make the choice. Talk it over with family. If you leave him there he will think of you as the worst mother any child could have , then again it teaches him a lesson. give it some time. good luck =/
2007-09-16 14:25:03 · answer #7 · answered by anonymous 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough love. He needs to hit rock bottom before he'll smarten up and realize there is help out there and that he needs it. Knowing that they'll be someone around to bail him out just enables him and try again thinking that next time he wont get caught, not that he shouldnt be doing it in the first place.
2007-09-16 14:21:10 · answer #8 · answered by missourim43 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my motto with my son has always been "if you do the crime--do the time" and "Don't come cryin' to mommy--she won't bail you out if it is your fault!" Only you can decide whether to leave him in or bail him out, but my opinion is this boy needs some tough love. At least, while he is in jail, he is forced to stay out of trouble. He is an adult and you are no longer responsible for his actions.
2007-09-16 14:20:15 · answer #9 · answered by Katykins 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
it does sound as if your son needs to change his behavior.
sometimes jail offers a pointer that way.
sometimes it fails completely to do so.
usually, when it fails, he'll have another opportunity down the road a bit under harsher circumstances. Most offenders either straighten up quickly or repeat their offenses over and over -- possibly escalating to increasing violence.
on balance, i think it is time for your son to "man up" and leaving him in is a good first step.
***
Having a family member who won't talk to us at all in our family, I'm aware that you risk him shunning you for the rest of his life.
Alas, if he doesn't straighten up and pretty soon, i'm afraid he's someone who won't want in your life.
GL
2007-09-16 14:24:33 · answer #10 · answered by Spock (rhp) 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋