Am i wrong? I found a mag in the bathroom with cut outs of hardcore anal porn pasted in it, this week I counted 3 times he's went to the bathroom with it while i was home , when i bring up having sex he says i cant i drank or another excuss and he offers oral sex, i dont understand because its not like we dont have fun sex, he can do anything. I feel that he would rather do that then to have sex with me... the last time our sex life was like this i discovered a dvd collection of the same , we had a talk i explained how i felt and thing were better now this....if i wasnt home it wouldnt bother me but i was there so why the need to do it yourself?
2007-09-16 14:05:33 · 20 answers · asked by jen w 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just responding to some awnsers: no i havent gained weight, he tells me all the time how he loves my body ect, yes i do have anal sex with him, mostly vaginal but i do enjoy his finger ther while we have sex, i do masterbate myself when he's not home or if he;s sleeping on the couch after too much to drink, but if hes availible id rather him
2007-09-16 14:31:04 · update #1
He wants something that you may be unwilling to give to him (a lot of women I have spoken to are not keen on anal sex).
he is fueling a fantasy that you may not be able to service or perhaps he thinks of you in such a way that anal sex is bad and only bad women get it.
just a guess
2007-09-16 14:18:48 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you like anal sex? This is obviously his fantasy. What do you mean by "hardcore anal porn?" If it is kinky anal, then I understand and if you don't like anal then I understand, he is fulfilling a fantasy. Anal feels a lot different for a man than vaginal sex. If you like anal sex and you are willing to do some of the things in the mag, then the next time he heads to the bathroom to masterbate, grab the lube and take him to the bedroom and tell him he is being selfish. You want some too and him doing himself for himself is selfish. This should slow him down. If you are not into anal sex, let him have his fantasy. Better a mag and Rosie Palm than cheating.
2007-09-16 21:21:23 · answer #2 · answered by baseballdad69 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know there are a lot of answers that have to do with us guys using porn and regularly masturbating and all that is true. But I also notice that you say he turns down sex with you. That's called "disconnecting." He's able to c_m without any real connection with a woman because it's all about him and pleasuring himself only. It can become a problem when the masturbation replaces all sex with you. Then he's using sex (with self) much like a drug....to cure anxiety and other issues. But like porn itself it's highly addictive and can cause problems because he won't want to reconnect with you until he faces his issues. This disconnecting and living in fantasy is indicative of addiction.
2007-09-17 10:43:54 · answer #3 · answered by SpeedyGonz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well men go back to masturbating because its what they used to do there whole life up until they met you or there first girlfriend. So sometimes guy's do it because its nice to be alone and have nobody looking at you or having to go at it for hours just to please a woman. This is what happens in most marriages. Your vagina is not going to be the main attraction every night and if you think it will be your wrong. Just be happy to get when you can. Us men are visual and don't always need the real thing because are minds are dirty and that is enough sometimes
2007-09-16 21:34:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to disagree with the other answers, but I find it really disturbing for a man to jerk himself off when his wife is a few feet away from him. It is just not normal to choose masturbation over real sex. You should ask him what the problem is. It is not fair for you. It looks like he has issues, and you need to find out what they are. Take him to a counselor, he needs to talk with somebody who knows this problems. Don't let it just go on like if nothing is happening. Because it would not go away on its own.
2007-09-16 23:15:47 · answer #5 · answered by Ricardo R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you're dealing with this too. Not that mine looks at anal specifically (that I know of), but he's got a voracious sex life with his porn and his hand; while leaving me with nothing but his bs missionary leftovers. I have nothing useful to offer you but the knowledge that you're not alone.
2007-09-16 21:36:10 · answer #6 · answered by Me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has a fantasy of having "A" sex with a woman with whom he doesn't have to be gental, or maybe he just wants to "A" sex, but feels you wouldn't want to or like it or would get mad at him for suggesting it...In a perfect world, he would come to you when he was feeling in the mood. Have you asked yourself why he doesn't????? Maybe you two should sit down face to face and talk about your sex life free from judging each other, just frank and open discussion about all aspects of your marrige, including sexual relations...Good Luck
2007-09-16 21:19:07 · answer #7 · answered by Lee B 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ok 1st up people quit blamen weight gain for reasons of why these men are looking at porn and doing the deed alone thats pathetic seriously get a clue.
And sweetheart your telling me that he does the deed himself but still offers to do oral on you? why are you complaining? damn I wish my husband had offered oral , I mean he satisfied himself for what ever reason so he shoulda given me something I enjoyed.
Other women on here state their men do the deed and then they dont even get oral so consider yourself amongst the lucky.
Oh and my usual lecture he's male dont whinge at him for pleasing himself or using mags or the internet to watch images its a male thing.Yes I am a female.And I consider it selfish to try and stop any man from not doing his own deed unless your not getting physical satisfaction of ANY kind.Which you are!!!!!!dont turn it down take him up on it, somethings better then nothen.
2007-09-16 21:39:15 · answer #8 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this happened to my really good friend. her boyfriend never would have sex with her but he would masturbate to online porn. my friend has the absolute most perfect body but she was flat chested and he would masturbate to very large breasted women, (they eventually broke up) so see if those women that he's masturbating looks like you or doesn't. that might help a little bit. maybe he thinks you've put on some weight if those girls look like you. maybe he thinks the sex isn't fun to him. maybe to him it's not as fun as it is to you. try something new. try a strip tease. someone once told me to do housework in the nude. i thought that was a great idea. that's only if you're confident with your body and he thinks you have a nice body, if he doesn't think you have the best body then he probably won't find it attractive. bring it up though and see what he says, but don't fight about it. talk about it
2007-09-16 21:15:20 · answer #9 · answered by coldplayfan 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sometimes we all just want to masturbate. It sounds to me that you have a high sex drive since you describe yourself as always available, so are you really saying that there are not times when you'd rather please yourself than have to bother with having sex? Yes, sex is fun, but masturbate is easier when you're feeling lazy.
Now, why don't you go talk to your husband about the little magazine you found and your insecurities.
2007-09-16 21:12:29 · answer #10 · answered by skunk pie 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋