when you try for counseling and your wife tells you she does not know if she even wants to. why is that? if she married me and then there is some adjustments that are difficult to make, why jump ship to be separated and then not even try counseling of any sort? are you a christian if you dont follow the words of God if you do not try with your heart as he states you should?
Additional Details
we were married for 7 months b4 she started distancing herself from me..i have an 8 year old who i raised from birth his real mom left him, and now this women has too... we are 29..
we are separated because she abandoned me physically, emotionally and spiritually in the marriage for months and months..very heartbroken i tried and tried to work on things. now separated for 3 months i am trying to work things out she has no effort just complains about things in the past, when she is at fault as well.
2007-09-16 13:54:30 · 14 answers · asked by amayseng 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Did you notice how everything is her fault and your sons mothers fault as well. That's one of the problems right there you putting blame on everyone else and not taking any of the blame yourself. Sounds to me like you put God before everyone in your life if that's the case then that is why she left you. Women need to feel like they are the most important part of your life if she isn't then it's not going to work and you my friend are going to be a lonely man with a son to raise on your own. Did you ever here about compromising it works both ways not just your way or her way. If you can try to put yourself into her shoes and see how she saw things if you can do that without letting your stubbornness get in the way then it will help you.
2007-09-16 14:20:44 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If she won't go to counseling, will she at least sit down and listen to a Reverand? Sometimes they will come to your house and jus let both parties vent and then point out what changes need to be made. It sounds like a lot of fingers are being pointed. There is a scripture about that. YOu don't say if she is Christian or not but if she is she really needs to try to work this out unless you cheated on her, that is the only ok reason for divorce in the Bible.
2007-09-16 15:40:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce and let her fly free , she's not ready for the committment she made , go find a god fearing woman who believes everything you do , people shouldnt marry outside of their culture , religion , belief system because this is how it ends up.
Trust me your child and you will be far better off.No amount of counciling is going to make her come back so why keep fighting an uphill battle and making yourself look like a needy 14 year old in the mean time , sorry but thats how your sounding time to grow up and move on.Good luck.
2007-09-16 14:53:58 · answer #3 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a tough situation! Maybe you could still see a counselor for your own feelings. You obviously want to work things out, but it does require her to have the desire as well and unfortunately that is out of your control. Either way, you have a child to help get through this situation and maybe some individual counseling for you will help you be able to deal with the pain and stress and enable you to maintain being there for your child's feelings as well. Best of luck to you!
2007-09-16 14:02:46 · answer #4 · answered by ladybug 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you to didn't take time to know about each others wants and dislikes before marrying i don't care whether your christian or not has nothing to do with it because when you marry you become as one is that correct. Listen to me she does not want to try and work things out that's not your fault at least you have tired and god wont hold you guilty for all things. for he is forgiving and merciful god. she complains about everything in the past i am sure you both have made mistakes but she is not willing to own ujp to her miskes so just pray about it and god will send and answer to you in time.
best of luck
2007-09-16 14:18:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ah geez, im sorry to hear about this.
And im sorry to say that if she doesnt want to go to counselling or even try to work things out without it, she doesnt want the 2 of you to stay married. A professional will tell you him/herself that you have no chance of reconcilliation unless both parties are willing to try. period.
No matter how hard you try, my friend, you cant make her want the marriage. That must be her choice.
Im sorry about u being heartbroken. I would ask her straight up if she wants to stay married to you. If she does, then she would do counselling, if she doesnt, then u have to face the fact, and move on. If not for yourself, then for your child.
Find strength in prayer; things will work out the way they were meant to be. Good luck :)
2007-09-16 14:14:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have made every effort to make this work. Sometimes people think the grass is greener in the other side and they don't realize God can make it greener right were they stand. This is very hard for you but it seems she just don't want to help make it work. I would try to talk to her one more time, take her to dinner and let her know how you truly feel about her. ask if she can give the marriage one more chance and let her know it takes 100% from each party for the marriage to be fulfilled. God Bless!
2007-09-16 14:04:53 · answer #7 · answered by b n real 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The bad thing about women is that sometimes when we make up our minds we want out, we want out.....and nothing is going to change our minds. There have to be other issues that led up to her estrangement, nobody just up and leaves without some kind of explanation. The counseling is a great idea....even if she won't go, it would help you understand why she left.....peace of mind is extremely important.
2007-09-16 14:06:22 · answer #8 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She, apparently wasn't as ready for marriage, and the responsibilities that came with it. After she said I do, it may have hit her what she really promised to do and she panicked. It is also possible she has found someone else. There could be a bunch of reasons for her behavior. If she won't even try, then your marriage is over.
2007-09-16 14:06:43 · answer #9 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, do not give up if you think she is the one. My husband and I went through a tough time, months and months of tough time is nothing. Years and years of "tough time" is another. My husband and I have been married for 12 years and had years of distance before I wanted to call it quits. Things still are not better, and I am still not ready to give up.
2007-09-16 14:06:35 · answer #10 · answered by chicki_thang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋