I've been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years. I feel like we DID have alot of potential and love for one another. We also both were mature and had a good head on our shoulders. Well, his ex-g/f tried to break us up, and it's ruined our relationship, I've let my insecurities ruin our relationship. I made too big a deal out of it. Now trust isn't there, we're both more paranoid, even though we're entirely open with each other. The big one is, respect is gone. We used to highly respect each other, and now the things we say to each other now I could've never imagined EVER wanting to say that to each other. I used to feel like he was head over heels for me, but now it's so different. We used to have ALOT of fun together and brought out the best in one another, and now I feel like we just argue alot more, and don't really do anything. All we do is sit around and watch TV. I felt that our relationship had so much potential, but jealousy & immaturity has gotten the best of it. How do I fix it?
2007-09-16 13:51:07 · 10 answers · asked by Consultant 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know we still do have love for each other, but we've both become selfish and mean to each other. And I KNOW it's because I let jealousy into the relationship, it used to be an amazing relationship, but now we're very disrespectful towards each other. The ex g/f thing happened a year ago and I still get mad about it. How do I get our old relationship back, or is it doomed now? I KNOW we had alot of potential, but I think we're both turning into really selfish/bitter people because of our relationship.
2007-09-16 13:52:54 · update #1
Hi friend,
1st, stop the arguing..Every unconstructive arguement is widening the cracks in your relationship.. 2nd, set aside the pride & bring love back into the picture. Begin by having a heart to heart talk with him. If you have to apologize, do so. You'll be amazed how quick he will apologize for his wrong end of the deal. Your respect for each other might be shattered right now, but it can be mended together, albeit slowly and delicately. Sometimes we rush things too much, wanting to get that respect back much too soon. As a result, we swayed away from our natural behavior, thus aggravating the relationships more. Hey, someone has to make the 1st move..If he's not keen on it..Don't just stand there and let it end up as a "battle of will". Make the move to get back that magic in your relationship. Of course, there are no guarantees but it's better than having zero chance at all because if you're just gonna sit there and watch tv. Then wait, wait & wait for the magic to come back on it's own, then you're in for a lot of disappointment. As long as there is still love, there is plenty of hope. How many loving relationship was ruined by pride?? Don't be one of them.
2007-09-16 14:14:52 · answer #1 · answered by BERNARD C 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-08 03:19:17 · answer #2 · answered by Janet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way it use to be is over never ever to return again so that being said your relationship can be saved only if you both really want it. It doesn't get any worse then what my husband and i went through about 10 years ago and we got through it and are doing just fine now. First i had to let go of the fact that it will never be the way it was before, so i had to start from there just like you will. When you are at work or waiting for him to walk through the front door do you feel like you want to run up to him and give him a big hug never letting him go and telling him just how much you love him and never want to fight again. When you do see him does something take over and you just can't bring yourself to touch him.If the answer is yes to all the above then have no fear it's normal believe it or not but we women are like that,it's hard for us to kiss a man we still have issues with but what you need to understand is your man is waiting for you to show him your not mad anymore at him and as soon as you show him a little affection he will be all over you. It's up to you now if you want to save your relationship then think of the first time you saw him or your very first kiss and how you felt when he made love to you the very first time. These are all the little things that can bring you two back together.
2007-09-16 14:49:19 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you asking about the very first time, when I lost my virginity? If so, I wasn't in a relationship. My partner was just a friend. We never dated or had illusions of a relationship, but we did care a great deal for each other. But I would not recommend that anyone repeat what I did unless they are in that situation and feel, as I did, that it was right for them. It's clear to me that you aren't quite ready. But if you feel you might be soon, I would strongly suggest that you get to a doctor for an exam to make sure you're healthy sexually, before having sex. You can also get on your own form of birth control to use along with the condoms that you should use when you do eventually have sex.
2016-03-18 07:12:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him because if he really loved you that insecurity of that ex girlfriend would have never been there he would have put a stop to it.. Let me put it to you this way if he wasn't still f*cking her on the side she never would have came into the picture to start with.. That is the only time they pop up out of the blue. I suspect he is cheating on you you deserve better than this. Move on and find someone that will treat you better and give you what you need. Move out ad take you things and change your number and make sure he doesn't find you and then he will realise what he had if he didn't cheat on you and if he doesn't give a damn he cheated on you. I have seen my friends go through s*it like this too many time not to know what I am talking about
2007-09-16 14:03:53 · answer #5 · answered by whiteroses202004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tips respect love relationship
2016-02-02 13:31:00 · answer #6 · answered by Diann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first off you need to fix your insecurity & jealousy issues. That doesn't happen over night. The main thing is to STOP being that. but if it's not working out then it's not. Don't stress yourself over something that sounds like it might not last. Things usually work out itself, if they don't, then you have no choice but to accept what's happened to your relationship.
2007-09-16 14:26:05 · answer #7 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will be hard for you to do..but, it is a decision you must make if you want to be with this guy and if you want to be happy. Move forward, that is in the past. If you can't move forward, you need to move on.
2007-09-16 14:20:42 · answer #8 · answered by replexgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him and move on
sounds like you two take each other for granted and if you change, it will all go back to the same thing, fights and nonsense...
move on
find someone else and don;t be like you are now, change is good.
2007-09-16 13:58:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a better man!
2007-09-16 17:44:25 · answer #10 · answered by sandra b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋