tell me ur opinion about that????????

Question

actually i'm an egyptian girl and i'm soo disappointed,ilove writing sooo much, but no one encourage me or help me to be on the right track.
this one example of my writing read it ,enjoy it and tell me ur opinion about it :.

DONNOT THINK ABOUT WHAT U CANNOT DO BUT THINK HOW COULD U MAKE IT COME TRUE!!

Some people are blind although they have sight,
others like butterflise they cannot see but they can fly.

there is no excusses in our world,
maybe there is some difficulties,
but nothing is impossible to achieve.
as long as you have believes.

just recognize your dreams,
and make the plan to make it come true.

knowing what you want in this life,
is one of the steps to know exactly who u are in this life.

somone without dreams:
like abody without breath.
like ahuman without brain.
like asurvival without soul.
like dark without light.
b.s

Answer 1

Thank you for sharing. keep it up. try to use more vocabulary to express yourself and don't give rhyming that much effort.
thanks again

Answer 2

Hi, have you tried posting this in the Arts & Humanities > Poetry section? They are probably more likely to review writings than the travel section. I don't know much about writing so as an opinion:
- message is nice, can't comment on structure as it's not my field. There are a couple of writing mistakes though. Here is a correction (to English writers here: I'm Dutch, feel free to correct ;) ):

DO THINK ABOUT WHAT CAN DO BUT THINK HOW COULD CAN MAKE IT COME TRUE!!

others (are?) like butterflies<,> they cannot see but they can fly.

there no excusses in our world, (there is no excuse..?)
maybe there some difficulties, (mayber there is some difficulty?)
as long as you have

is one of the steps to know exactly who are in this life.

without dreams: (I think "somebody" may work better)
like body without breath.
like human without brain.
like survival without soul. (Do you mean "like surviving without a soul?)
like dark(ness) without light.
b.s (er, "bs" means bullshit in the US. You may want to use your full name here. :) ).

Hope this helps

And thanks for sharing. Good luck writing and keep them coming.

Answer 3

There are many mistakes and you have good ideas.

You can't say you are already a writer, just keep the good work going. Read more and correct yourself. Always try to understand what's wrong and what kind of mistakes you do. Be ready for criticism, it shows the way.
Good luck

Answer 4

yesterday i wanted to answer u i was the first but unfortunately i have reached my maximum allowed answers so i had to wait till today. any way...
i like ur quotes very much i have written about 6 my self but they ain't wonder full as yours. i will send u an e mail, so if have more u could send me back all ur writings.

Answer 5

Good feelings & thoughts.
Keep on the good effort, try to simplify some meanings like
"others like butterflise they cannot see but they can fly."
I never knew this information before reading it now.

Answer 6

u r great writer and u will b greater and don't let any1 tell u otherwise. Improve urself by reading to other great writers and I'm waiting for more. God bless u honey.

Answer 7

How old are you sweetie? You are very sweet and deserve to be encouraged. However, you may need to work on your grammar and spelling a bit more. As a whole, I find your writing very nice, it put a smile on my face. God bless you sweetie.

Answer 8

first line and i'm crying already :)
i can't live without dreams, sometimes they help you through :)
if you want to become a great writer, read a lot :) i'm sure if you are stubborn about your dream, you will make it come true :)

Answer 9

you are wise though you are young.
what you write is interesting.
you need to learn how to write correctly , esp 6grammar and spelling.
go ahead . carry on writing . you have an audience here.

Answer 10

I'll be here waiting for more all the time
ur writing is wonderful .