There have been many issues with my parents. Ever since I was 12, there have been many arguments with my step-dad and mother. I have taken responsibility for my actions and agreed to change my attitude. Lately, now that I am getting closer to the age of 18 (I'll be 18 in 6 months), their punishment for my actions have grown in intensity. I have a girlfriend and she and I are very much in love. When my dad caught me making out in front of the house, he went ballistic and destroyed my cellphone. I thought it ended there, but the next day, he destroyed my playstation 2 for the same reason! I was devastated. But things cooled down. He bought me a new phone 2 months later. But when I came home from eating with my girlfriend's dad, my dad accused of lying to my mom about where i was. This is false. But, he didn't care and broke the new phone. He is extremely violent and calls me names and threatens to throw me out. My girlfriend wants me to move in with her. My mom wants me to stay. Help
2007-09-16 10:22:56 · 9 answers · asked by Lloyd D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Your mom shouldn't be attempting to convince you to stay in a violent home. Breaking other people's belongings is not a good way to deal with anger, as I'm sure you're experiencing. If she is not going to enforce a change in his behavior, you can certainly leave when you are 18.
(If you stay, you should make it clear that because you are an adult, you will still follow some house rules while you stay, but you will not accept any more breaking of your things.)
I am not sure I'd recommend moving right in with your girlfriend, but depending on your maturity and financial stability, it could work.
Some questions that occurred to me that will influence your situation: Do you work? Does she? Does she live on her own or with her parents? Do the two of you have a reasonable fallback plan for your living situation if you were to break up? How long have you been together? How will bills be divided? Just some things to think about.
2007-09-16 10:33:38 · answer #1 · answered by Mia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On one hand, you are definitely in an abusive relationship. You do need to get out of your parents' house as soon as practical.
Your mom probably wants you to stay because you are drawing the abuse that would ordinarily head straight for her. She needs to get out, too. Most women will not leave an abusive relationship until it is perfectly clear that their lives really are in danger.
On the other hand, I do not recommend moving in with your girlfriend... there are a whole set of pitfalls that come with that. Besides that, her parents may not accept that idea. You don't want them mad at you... you want to do everything to keep their friendship and support, beginning with showing their daughter all the respect she deserves.
For one, if there is sex involved, you will need to take the initiative to make sure there aren't any pregnancies until you two are absolutely certain it will all work out... marriage and all. It typically takes a couple of years for the "new" to wear off and the routine to really kick in.
You don't want to be stuck shelling out for child support while you are trying to put yourself through college and pay bills. Don't add too many burdens to yourself this early in life.
For this reason, I will recommend finding a place you can share with one or two roommates... everyone has their own personal space, and everyone looks after the common area and pays their own share of the bills, and there is still freedom to go visit girlfriends.
Actually, once you move out, your mom may very well decide to move out herself.
2007-09-16 10:38:58 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem you have at the moment is you can't move out until you are 18 unless you go to court and have yourself legally declared as an imancipated minor. Then you could move in with her.
Being an imancipated minor means you are old enough to be out on your own. hold a job in order to fully sustain yourself outside the home.
As for your step-dad, I would go to the police. He has damaged personal property that he probably didn't buy.
But get with a lawyer to find out what your options are.
2007-09-16 10:29:37 · answer #3 · answered by David T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that your mom has a prob and moving to your girlfriends house wont help. Ask your self what you can do to work this out your almost 18 so act like a adult talk with your step dad with out yelling and getting up set .He may see something you don't or don't wont to see. I have been there so be a man and have a talk, you may be surprised.
2007-09-16 10:33:12 · answer #4 · answered by OLD SCHOOL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have an abusive step-father. Why does your mother want you to stay if she knows he is abusing you (and even if he isn't hitting you his actions ARE abuse) Is she being abused by him? You should find a time when you and your Mother are alone and ask her these questions. And yes if your girlfriends parents are OK with you living there, you may have to do this.
2007-09-16 10:28:10 · answer #5 · answered by luteachris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you haven't any longer any means over what the lady does neither do her mothers and fathers therfore she and purely she would be ready to take any action alongside with reporting restraint to the police.Do you have an area social worker who ought to aid you 2 paintings up a case against the mothers and fathers unlawful restraining her ~~
2016-10-09 07:33:38 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave your parents - yes, move in with your girlfriend - Hell No! If your going to college I suggest you move into the dorms or get your own place.
2007-09-16 10:42:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your dad is doing is abuse. You need more help than you can get here.
2007-09-16 10:37:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she talk someone
2007-09-16 10:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋