I am in a long-distant relationship.. and I have been in it for 1 1/2 years. The girl and I are thinking about get married as early as Jan. 2008.. the only problem is I wont have a lot of money saved up then ($20,000). Plus, I'm two years away from graduating from college. I'm wondering- would it be wise for me to put off my marriage to this girl for another extra 7 months, so that I can have twice as much money saved($40,000) up instead.. I think that way, we'd be much better off. What are your thoughts and ideas?
2007-09-16 09:32:48 · 12 answers · asked by gododjgjodjod 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are going to marry her; do it for love, not financial reasons. You are never going to be financially ready for a marraige/kids. Yes the highest reason for divorces is due to financial reasons but some people spend more than they make. If you have a great understanding of each other and love you will be able to make it through anything! Good luck!
2007-09-16 09:39:45 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd say finish school first, then lose the distance. It is important to end the long distance relationship because you need time to physically be there with the one you will be marrying. the little things that matter you know? ( you need to be looking into her eyes, feeling the touch sharing the smiles. The long walks, the slow dances etc., all that pre-requisite jazz.)
Though it is wise for you to delay it for another 7 months I'm with the opinion that money should not be a reason in any marriage decision. as it goes, you'll discover that you can never save enough for it. Open a joint bank account and put money in it every month that should be due on your pegged date., this determines how you both perceive money's importance in future married life, Whether you are financially compatible with each other.
I'd say within the 7 months, get reservations for all that you'll need for the ceremonies, that way, you can take advantage of discounts. There are honeymoon packages that give big discounts and value added features for advance reservations-you'll find you don't need so much money when your marriage date arrives. Go at it together you'll discover more about yourself and your partner within this time. 'you'll be surprised with what you'll discover.
2007-09-16 17:15:20 · answer #2 · answered by Jon C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's nice to see that there are still some that plan ahead and are saving money for marriage and possibly children. everybody that I know that was broke before having kids is broke today and will be broke tomorrow. I life I could never imagine living.
but I would most definetly not get married until the two of you are at least living in the same area/zip code. seeing your loved one on a daily basis is completely different then when involved in the long distance relationship. don't rush into anything and make the same mistakes that many before you have made.
I will quote an old Chinese proverb, "Fortune truly helps those who are of good judgment".
2007-09-16 16:58:34 · answer #3 · answered by lv_consultant 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should finish college and start a career and work that for a year or so to establish it. Because it takes time to establish ones self. Then after all is on the right track and moving along smoothly, then get married and live a happy fulfilling life together forever. Maybe even have a child or two. Smart thing, smart planing, smart living. You've got the right idea, and I give a great big S A L U T E.
2007-09-16 16:40:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no "best time" to get married, but there is "the right time". You can propose now (be engaged) then after 7 more months you can get married so that you can have twice as much money saved up instead (just like you said). If you think that way you would be much better off, then go with that. I think your being smart by doing that.
2007-09-16 16:51:29 · answer #5 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't plan a marriage until you have lived in the same area code! (but not the same address) Let yourself finish your education. And then you are able to spend some time together that is beyond the honey moon stage that you are likely in during your current visits of a long-distance relationship. Get to know each other on a deeper level. Take it from one who didn't take their own advice. I'm paying for it now!
2007-09-16 16:42:31 · answer #6 · answered by lisinoak 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What are you doing that you can go to school and save 20k in 7 months? Seriously, I'd love to know cuz I want in on that. It doesn't matter if you have 20k or 40k saved up. Marriage is about being together and going through life with each other.
2007-09-16 16:45:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are capable to handle your obligation as a spouse and committed to the vows for the rest of your life.
Married is not a joke but a responsibilities, for the husband/wife and the kids in the future. To give them luxuries sustenance for all their needs including shelter, clothing, food, car/appliacnces, education, healthy life.
If you are ready to settledown, obligations must be your priority over your enjoyment.
2007-09-17 00:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you lose the will to act towards the temptation to bang other chicks. Which is never so there's your answer. But if by the grace of God you manage to find a girl that makes you stop thinking about other girls sexually, which is impossible, but if you do, then marry her
2007-09-16 16:42:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you are financially secure and have found a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. make sure you have done all the running around you are going to do before you make such a huge commitment. do not settle for anyone and anything less than you honestly want in life and your mate.
2007-09-16 16:48:56 · answer #10 · answered by Common_Sense2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋