do you know any variations on nursery rhymes?

Question

for example: mary had a little lamb
she tied it to a pylon
10,000 volts went up it's bum
and turned it's wool to nylon

mush-i'm not bothered if you cant remember it just as long as you shoot barney!

i'm LOL keep em coming!

darren j- you should be sorry, that's disgraceful! still funny though lol

Answer 1

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck.
She put them both upon a shelf
To see if they would f...all off.

also,
Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them as well. He's funny that way.

also,
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.
(sorry about that one!)

also,
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill,
To have little fun.
Jill, that dill
Forgot her pill,
And now they have a son.

also,
Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn,
Your sheep's in the meadow,
Your cow's in the corn,
Your horse is in the bedroom,
And you don't want to know about his rhinocerous!

also,
Twinkle, twinkle, little starfish,
How I wonder what you arefish;
On the coral rocks you creep,
Underneath the sea so deep,
Twinkle, twinkle, little starfish,
How I wonder what you arefish.

Answer 2

Mary had a little Lamb
She though it was so silly
She through it up into the air
And caught it by its ....
There a watch dog
Sitting on the grass
When along came a bumble bee
And stung him up the ....
Questions make no lies
Have you ever seen a policeman
Pulling up his
Flys are horrible bees are worse
That is the end of my clean country verse

Not really a nursery rhyme but I like it anyway!

Answer 3

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
It wasn't a spider
That sat down beside her
It was Little Boy Blue
With the horn.

Mary had a little lamb
The doctor was surprised.

Mary had a little lamb
It was full of fun and frolics
It tried to jump a 5 bar gate
And landed on it's bollox

Mary, Mary quite contrary
How does you garden grow?
What's it got to phukin do,
With you?

Answer 4

Mary had a little lamb , she also had a set of twins later

Mary Mary quiet contrary how does your garden grow with silver bell and crocker shell and one stinking petunia

Answer 5

Mary had a little lamb
she took it to a wedding
she tied it to a gatepost
and kicked its f*******g head in

Jack is nimble
Jack is quick
but Jill prefers
the candlestick

Answer 6

Mary had a little blouse
it was all torn to bits
and everywhere that Mary went
you could see her t1ts!

Mary had a little skirt
it was all torn at the front
and everywhere that Mary went
she had to be very careful when wearing it!

Answer 7

Mine are all quite tame, I'm afraid .....

Jack and Jill went up the hill
With no one in the vicinity.
Jack came down less half a crown (12.5p)
And Jill less her ... bucket of water.

Little fly upon the wall
Have you got no sense at all?
Don't you know that wall is plastered?
Come down you here, you stupid ... fly.

I wish I were a caterpillar
Oh wouldn't it be a farce
I'd climb up all the tallest trees
And slide down on my ... hands and knees.

Answer 8

mary had a little lamb,
it liked to bounce in hop's
it gambled on the road one day,
and ended up as chops!!


mary had a little lamb,
she also had a bear,
ive often seen her little lamb,
but i've never seen her bear!!

Answer 9

Mary had a little watch
She swallowed it one day.
Now she's taking laxitives
To pass the time away!

Answer 10

Theres one about Barney but I can't remember the end...
I love you
You love me
Lets all go and kill barney
With a gun shot gun
We'll shoot him till he dead...
Damn it I can't remember the last line
Anyone??