What’s the difference between “Love” and “Infatuation”?

Question

What’s the difference between being in love with someone and being infatuated with someone? Can a person be in love with someone and infatuated with the same person? By the way, I’m not a kid. I’m a guy and I’m 25. Thanks!

Answer 1

Infatuation as are defining it here, is a static process characterized by an unrealistic expectation of blissful passion without positive growth and development. Characterized by a lack of trust, lack of loyalty, lack of commitment, lack of reciprocity, an infatuation is not necessarily foreplay for a love scenario. People, however, have many reasons for making commitments.
Most people are infatuated with their love partners to a certain degree. People who are in love think of their partners periodically when they are apart (some more than others). Men seem to be better, in general, in compartmentalizing their lives, thereby putting thoughts of loved ones aside until the mind is free to dwell on life. And yes, there are many exceptions and many ranges within the genders.
So how do you know? The question, actually is simple, the answer, however, is not easy to own or accept. And here it is: Does this relationship bring out the best in both of you?
This is the part where you get to assess and evaluate yourself and your partner, and your relationship honestly.
Though difficult, evaluating how things are going at regular intervals can help to give some direction (and re-direct misdirection) to people who are self-guided toward happiness and success. For those who are on a negative course, people who are unhappy,
confused and perhaps self-sabotaging, regular evaluation can point out some hard truths about oneself, and/or about the person you want to take the next step with.
While you try to evaluate whether or not it is the real thing, here are some things to consider:
Are you happy? That would be a yes or no. When you wake up, are you glad to be alive? Are you grateful for the blessings that you receive daily, like being alive and loved? Are you loved and treated as a person of value? Does his or her mother know about you?
Is your life on a positive track? Do you have hope for the future? Do you have dreams and work toward them all the time? Is your life better because your boy/girlfriend is in it? Really?
Are you in this relationship alone? Having someone on your arm makes life less complicated. You get a built in escort and date. Most people seem to think and feel better as part of a pair. There is a sense of social relief as well meaning family and friends stop trying to fix you up. Are you thinking and planning as a pair? Do you automatically consider both of your plans for the weekend, or merely anticipate maybe meeting up sometime? Have you postponed or given up your hopes and dreams for the relationship or have you restructured your dreams together?
The answers, and the courage to face the facts is the key to making the determination. In infatuation, your gaze, your thoughts and maybe your world revolves around someone. You have blinders on. It seems that all the world pales in comparison to this person�s looks, talents, intelligence, creativity, etc. What you might not see by keeping the blinders on, what can be serious flaws in any relationship, are the destructive traits and behaviors that degrade self esteem and cause some pretty negative effects on one�s choices and decisions.
Many have had the experience of looking back at some early romance, in middle or high school perhaps, when we were �in love� with a special teacher, or camp counselor. It can be easier to see in retrospect, what you weren�t ready to see at the time. Your thoughts of
romance were simply an innocent fantasy: An infatuation that felt like love at the time.
Aside from your age, what was it about you that made you make that mistake. Innocence? Loneliness?: A longing to grow up, maybe. But those were things going on in your head. In fact, these feelings had little to do with the actual object of your infatuation (crush). It could be that some of those same feelings and needs exist for you today. Beware of your own vulnerability, and your own desire to �get rescued� from that solitary life of the unpaired.
In time, the faults that you refuse to see will begin to come to the foreground. You may be infatuated with a rich and powerful person, but as you come to know that person on a more intimate basis, the qualities that intrigued you will begin to fade into the background.
In the case of love, your focus is on your special someone, and that someone exists in the real world. Give and take, compromise and cooperation are characteristics of love relationships. Working toward common goals, sharing dreams and values define the dynamics of a good love relationship. People know each other on a separate and private level than the world at large.
Bringing it Into Reality
Infatuation can even be thought of as love with only 2 dimensions. With love, that third dimension is reality. So, it is actually your ability to tell what is real in a relationship, versus what is imagined. You love being part of a couple, but is this the person you want to be in a couple with?
Look at the reality of who this person is, not who she/he wants to be. Do you always interact over dinner and drinks? Meet under different circumstances. Become part of each other�s lives. If that is not happening, why not? Are you spending and enjoying time together? What happens when you�re apart? Are you sure?
Trying to differentiate your love interest from your lust interest is requires a level head and the courage to face the unpleasant. It also requires maturity and the ability to take a step back and survey the big picture. The result is more control and confidence as you stride your way in love�s direction.

Answer 2

Love is deep infatuation is more on the surface. Meaning love will make you go the extra mile you will do things for the person you love without even thinking about it. Infatuation I relate it to sex(lust). The way someone looks or the attraction to their personality. Love makes no exception to looks or sexual attractions. I do believe that certain infatuations can lead to love if the persons are with each other long enough.

Answer 3

First love, is most often infatuation...a pretty girl in school, at the mall or even a teacher. We all experience this early on and sometimes as mature adults. Infatuation can turn into love as you get to know someone. You will know love when it hits you for real.

Answer 4

Infatuation is the "love at first sight" effect. You see a person and desire them or just meet someone and you are immediately drawn to them, want to be with them forever.

Love takes time. Love is partially a decision, but it can be an off-shoot of infatuation. It comes with a deeper knowledge of the person. It is more than a gut feeling.

Answer 5

Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another.
Love is a friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his/her presence even when he/she is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him/her nearer, but near or far, you know he/she is yours and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away! I can't risk losing you!"

Love says, "Be patient. Do not panic. Plan your future with confidence."

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you can admit it is difficult to be in one another's company unless you are sure it will end - in intimacy.

Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When he/she is away you wonder if he/she is cheating. Sometimes you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. Your beloved feels that also and that makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret later, but love never will.

Love is an upper. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person.

Answer 6

Love is really the feeling of not wanting to be apart from someone- you would even give your life for them. Infatuation is based on appearance and physical attraction. Yes, you could find someone attractive and love them, but after a while, especially with age, love will keep you together.

Answer 7

From the American Heritage Dictionary Love is " A Deep, tender feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship or a sense of oneness..." Infatuation is defined as " A foolish, unreasoning or extravagant passion or attraction..."

You will know the difference when you feel it. If you are doubting your feelings toward one specific person, give it time. If it is love it Will last, if it is just infatuation it will be very fleeting.

Answer 8

Infatuation is usually a kind of obsession, often of a sexual nature, that implies you have an idealized image of the person with whom you are infatuated with. You tend to think about them all the time. Infatuation may lead to love.
Love is having a very good understanding of someone and having a desire to meet that persons desires, many times over and above meeting your own. It is much deeper and not as superficial as infatuation. You have a desire to know everything about the person, to understand them, and to have good toleration of their faults as well as appreciating their good points. It goes beyond sexual desire.
I hope I have given these concepts justice and answered your question.