We have been together for 7 years and always had a good sex life but now she don't care about it @ all. I have told her 50 times that I have a high sex drive and that I am not happy with the quantity and she ALWAYS turns that around and says it is the quality that I am not happy with. I really do love her more than I have ever loved before (i am 40 yrs old) but now I am thinking about finding someone else to fill my "needs"
2007-09-16 05:31:13 · 34 answers · asked by cldad 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Grow up! Do you have a mature bone in your body? Do you have any regard for anyone except yourself?
She needs to get to a doctor to have a checkup. He can check her hormones and thyroid (both may effect sex drive). Then she needs to get to a therepist and find out why she is with a loser like you!
2007-09-16 05:35:07 · answer #1 · answered by Lesleann 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you have been engaged for 7 years, why aren't you married instead? Also, you are ALREADY fighting about sex? Not a good sign.
I hate to tell you this, but women do not care about how many TIMES you "have sex" they want quality -- taking a long time to "make love" -- not "have sex" like they're just sex toys, and not worth more to a beloved fiancee.
And one last thing -- if you are "already thinking of finding someone else" as you put it...break up. You are definitely not truly in love.
Marriage is very complicated, and the way two people communicate their needs and desires is THE most important aspect in relationships. Neither of you communicate well. Having been married 30 years, I can give you a little advice about what she's been saying to you. Whenever SHE says you want quality, what she really means is that SHE wants quality. She just expresses it badly.
2007-09-16 05:51:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love her more than anyone else in your life BUT you're considering cheating on her? Yeah, that's real classy. If you truly loved her, the first alternative you'd think of is becoming reacquainted with your right hand. Seriously though, what is going on with her? She could be really stressed (depressed as a result) and fatigued. Women are expected to be that perfect housewives in that June Cleaver sort of way, have a career, balance motherhood and be sexpots for their husbands -- doing it all while somehow remaining mentally stable for long periods of time.
The sexiest thing for my husband to do is NOT to be sex crazed and dry hump me as soon as I get home from a long day at work. Your fiancee hasn't forgotten about the sex, she is most likely preoccupied with her responsibilities (or stresses that you haven't thought about) and hasn't had the chance to recuperate. Try having kitchen clean before she gets home, making sure the kids have eaten dinner and are taken care of, getting up early so she can sleep in late on a Saturday. Help take off some of her load so she can replenish her energy stores and you, in return, will get a load off too.
2007-09-16 05:52:51 · answer #3 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question is to you....What are you doing that is making sex not appealing? There is a reason why shes not having sex with you. Don't you even care to get to the root of the problem instead of being selfish and getting your load off with someone else and risking losing the person you claim to love so much? Doesn't seem like you love her that much if your willing to fill your needs elsewhere. Get a grip dude, and grow up. Life just isn't all about your needs.
2007-09-16 05:44:37 · answer #4 · answered by tropicalbreeze 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she wants to have a little something special for her wedding night. Even though it may be just a momentary abstinence that helps make the wedding night special. Maybe she is thinking sex is all you love her for. And you seem to proving her right. Just enjoy some QUALITY time with her.
But more importantly if you are thinking about straying....then just love her enough to cut her free from you. How can you say you love her and in the next breath say you 'need' it so bad you would stray. You selfish sex hound.
Quite nagging her and romance her.
2007-09-16 05:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by shello 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you had a good sex life before.. and now you're not.. ask yourself.. has anything changed? Diet? Job? medication? even Birth control can effect sex drive. If none of this is an issue maybe you need to sit her down seriously.. and tell her that she is not the same person that you got engaged to. If she started off wanting it all of the time too and then slacked off to nothing SOMETHING has to have triggered this or she mis-represented herself.
Try to help each other through this.. if it's not gonna work and you are just not sexually compatible decide if that is something that you can live with or not.
2007-09-16 05:38:51 · answer #6 · answered by umannjo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't go straying just yet. 7 years is a long investment to just throw away on some tramp to fix your "needs". Cheating is never a good idea and you will get caught, eventually. Take your finance and seriously sit her down and let her know how you feel. Don't just run it by her when she's washing dishes and you're going out the door. The problem needs to be talked about when you and her are both free from daily demands. No one is to blame here; sometimes men and women are frisky at different times of the day. Try to find a moment where both of you are frisky. Try seducing her more often. I know sometimes I'm not in the mood but my boyfriend will totally suck me in by seducing me and I'm glad he does. Over all, don't go running from the problem. It can be fixed.
2007-09-16 05:38:59 · answer #7 · answered by bri 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
OMG you are the most selfish person! Try thinking of someone other than yourself for just a few seconds and you'll be alot happier! She doesn't want to have sex with you because you never consider her feelings. All you do is demand that she "give it up." Try seducing her. Give her backrubs (without demanding sex after five minutes.) Do nice things for her. All you doing is whining and nagging her about your "high sex drive," and demanding her to perform for your pleasure. That is not sexy to us chicks, dude. AT ALL.
Stop demanding sex, give her plenty of nice compliments, and do nice things for her, and I promise she'll be all over you again in a few days! Give that poor woman a break, she's been trying to satisfy you for 7 long years. Consider yourself lucky she wants your sorry @ss around at all. omg, what a jerk.
2007-09-16 05:48:52 · answer #8 · answered by hottiecj *~♥~*~♥~* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know sex is important in a relationship but if u love her u dont need to find somebody else. Maybe she's tired of the routine. Try and suprise her be romantic and u know make her in the mood. And dont forget the foreplay because we women always need a way to get started. Do different things and get creative and maybe she'll come around.
2007-09-16 05:40:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you will get NO approval from me. A man who can't control his libido can't be called a man! Use your left hand and pretend it's a stranger and run very quickly to a "shrink" and find out WHY your sex life has diminished in 7-years. Save yourself some money and take a GOOD look in the mirror - better change or change your priorities - really for a man in his 40's you sound really juvenile to me. They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, is this what YOUR father is like?
2007-09-16 05:39:49 · answer #10 · answered by peaches 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Romance Dude!
If all you do is tell her you want sex and give her a hard time your setting yourself up for a dry spell.
Shes probably thinking the same thing, "finding someone else to fill in her needs"...
Shes tired of being a pin cushion.
2007-09-16 05:36:08 · answer #11 · answered by nelppik 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋