I am 14 years old and have an 11 week old daughter. This is what happened I feel like all of this could have been prevented but anyways heres what happened. I woke up this morning about 6:30 becasue I thought it was weird that Ava didnt wake up all night. I looked at her and she was like gasping for air so I grabbed her and ran to my moms room and she was like we need to go now. So we got to the ER and they really didnt have an explanation as to why she was doing that. It is now 10:30 and I just got home from the hospital. They wanted us to leave so they could do some testing and stuff on her. Right now they have her on a breathing machine and on IVs. The reason why I felt like I could have prevented this whole thing is because if I would have gotten up just a little bit earlier maybe this wouldnt have happened. What can I do to help me feel like I havent failed as a mother?
2007-09-16 05:01:26 · 34 answers · asked by נєѕѕι¢α (ανα'ѕ мσмму) 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Sorry it is 12 now but I got home at 10:30.
2007-09-16 05:04:34 · update #1
I dont no why they wanted me to leave either. But my sister had to be somewhere and I didnt want to stay at the hospital alone. So they are going to call me when they find something out. It could be days is what they told me at the hospital.
2007-09-16 05:07:26 · update #2
For one thing you do not leave your baby anywhere.you should stay with her,no matter what anyone says.that's the only part about you being a bad mother sounds true.Go stay with your baby she needs her mother.It's her comfort that comes first not yours.I know your young but good mothers put their baby's first.I hope that shes alright I will light a candle for you and her.
(Many blessings)
2007-09-19 18:09:25 · answer #1 · answered by margaret moon 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunatly babies are so delicate that they can get sick or have problems without warning. You had no way of knowing something was wrong if it came on all of a sudden at night. I know my friend put her baby to bed one night and wokeup 5 minutes later than normal and her baby was dead in the bed. She is 25 years old and has 4 other kids, she just didn't have anyway to know her baby would die that night. Just relax and wait for word from the hospital on how your little girl is. I hope everything turns out ok. She could have developed a problem overnight or it could be something that has taken time to build up. It isn't your fault just because you wokeup a little late. You don't really know how long she had been breathing like that, it might have been a lot longer.
Edited: Hospitals have a hard time taking teenage moms serious and may feel you aren't mature enough to make the decisions but as the mom you need to be there are make those decisions no matter how hard they may be. Unfortunatly this even means staying at the hospital alone....been there done that.
2007-09-16 05:09:44 · answer #2 · answered by momof3boys 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't feel guilty about not waking up. I'm sure you're tired with a newborn, and your body is programmed to take all the sleep it can get now. Sometimes you just can't control the situation, no matter how much you'd like to. You can't go back and change it, and stressing over it isn't going to get you anywhere. It won't do you any good. I would focus on the situation as it is now and do whatever I could to make sure my baby gets and stays healthy. Ask the doctors lots of questions. That's what they're there for. If you don't understand, ask. If they explain and you still don't understand, ask them to explain it differently. I don't understand why they wanted you to leave the hospital and leave your daughter there alone. I would want to stay with my child. If you are comfortable with it, you could ask if they have a place for you to stay where you can be close to her. Ask why you can't be near her. You deserve to know, you're her mom. Just because you're young, they shouldn't treat you any differently than any other parent. Ask yourself what is best for your baby, and stick to it. Good luck...I hope your daughter gets better soon.
2007-09-16 09:41:44 · answer #3 · answered by kendi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some things happen that you cannot prevent. It is no way your fault for not waking up sooner. Don't feel like a failure - you got help and took your daughter to the ER and that is all you could do. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope your little girl gets better. You are so lucky to have a mother that loves and supports you, and it sounds to me like you will be a wonderful loving mommy yourself. Don't worry if you don't know exactly what you are doing - I don't either! Being a mom is a learning process. I'll be praying for you and your little girl!
2007-09-16 05:09:50 · answer #4 · answered by ilovejolie86 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would go back to the hospital. For no other reason than to comfort your daughter and let her hear your voice. My baby had a breathing problem at birth and I didn't even get to hold him the entire first day. They never figured out what was wrong. It could be allergies or anything. You did a great thing by reacting and getting her to the hospital. Yes, your young and it's going to be rough. I know your a great mom because you had her in the first place and took responsibility for you actions...Hang in there because the hospital will do all they can...Take care!
2007-09-16 05:20:20 · answer #5 · answered by Amy W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie I'm very sorry that happen to you. It's hard to deal with anything happening to your child because as a parent we always feel like we could have done something differently. The fact is that even if you got up it probably still would have happened. Be thankful that your daughter is alive and that they will do testing to find out what happened. You took your daughter to the hospital that is what any good mother would have done. Don't blame yourself for something you can't control. Your daughter is blessed to have a mother that loves her so much. I hope that your daughter gets well and as for you keep your chin up your daughter needs you. Be strong for her and never feel guilty. And stay with your daughter always!!! The doctors might not want you to stay but do it anyway you have that right and the right to know what they are doing to her.
2007-09-16 05:09:02 · answer #6 · answered by LiLy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. At such a young age as well. First things first, I wouldn't have left that hospital. I would demand to stay by my childs side. You could not have done anything to change what happened. Get back to that hospital and be very demanding. You are the mother. They can't tell you to leave. You have not failed as a mother. Just be a better mother now. Go be with your baby. Not on the computer. If you are not getting the answers you want from that hospital, demand that she be transfered to another. Good luck and get back to the hospital.
2007-09-16 05:08:34 · answer #7 · answered by lnlyheart123 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think all new mothers feel clueless when it comes to caring for their new baby. Sometimes there aren't explanations for newborns that stop breathing. SIDS is so scary and it seems like maybe this is a SIDS incident, although I am NOT a doctor. You aren't a bad mother, nor a bad person and you cannot stand over your baby every minute in hopes that you will be right there if something happens. Don't blame yourself and just try and embrace the doctors and their diagnosis. God Bless and good luck!
2007-09-16 07:29:37 · answer #8 · answered by MetalMama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let Guilt overwhelmed you. Do what you own instinct as a mum will do at this time. Go back to the hospital. Even if you cannot be at the room. You can still be within the building where your baby is. You need support and encouragement now. Staying at home will not help and may make your mind running too wild especially if alone.
2007-09-16 05:12:19 · answer #9 · answered by shangpam07 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your story is repeated by all mothers. If I had just.... if only i thought .... if we had not done.....
Mother guilt is powerful. Its what motivates us to do better. If you did not feel like this was your fault (which, by the way, it is NOT!!) you would not be a normal mother.
Babies get sick. Babies get hurt. We can keep them as safe and healthy as humanly possible, but there is always a chance that somehting will happen. Thats why we have to give them all the love we can. Its not your fault that you did not wake up. You have spent the last 11 weeks doing nighttime feeds, and your body wanted to rest. The first time a baby sleps through the night a mother wakes up sure that her baby ust have died, only to find that they had slept peacefuly as well.
You have done no wrong, you are not a bad mother, and right now you just need to focus on that baby getting better. Good lcuk and God bless
2007-09-16 05:12:06 · answer #10 · answered by parental unit 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are probably feeling inadequate as a mother because you are so young and inexperienced. Try not to be so hard on yourself because even if you were a 30 year old having a baby for the first time you would be feeling this way. I really wish the best for your daughter. You are lucky you have a supportive mother who is helping you get through this. Please be sure not to conceive another child this young. Life is going to be so much more difficult now because of the choices you have made.
2007-09-16 05:11:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋