My husband has ED.?

Question

I don't approach him for sex because when I have before, if he can't "perform" then he becomes upset and embarassed and I think he would rather me not initiate it. Even though I tell him "don't worry about it", "It's ok", "we can try later". He has been to the doctor and has viagra, but that doesn't work either. He says that he never knows when I want to have sex, so I will wear something "sexy" to bed such as a thong or a nightie. I get no response. I am slighty overweight, but I do try. Would that be an indication to most men that your wife wants to have sex? Or am I just crazy?

OK, no thong, what do I wear to bed then?

And give him blow jobs every night?

OK I don't give him blow jobs every night nor do I wear something sexy to bed every night!! Will someone please just answer the one question that is in my little story. I know all about ED, I am a nurse. I understand it!! All I want to know is if most men would think I might want sex if I wear something sexy to bed!! Since I can't initiate anything!!! This is what my husband states is the problem..that he doesn't know when I want to have sex, although he doesn't want me to initiate it.

Answer 1

yup, if viagra doesn't work

All I can say is - see a doc. He will give you MUCH better advice than anyone on any online forum.
You can also try to study some info yourself reading good books about this issue, but then you will have to spend some time if your are

serious about it - http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1573590142/viagrausersco-20

that is a great book for issues like your husband has

Answer 2

Come on, hon, you're a nurse! Unless you just graduated nursing school, you should know by now that us guys - even those of us with PhDs or MDs, are dumb as rocks. It's entirely possible he misses the signal that you're interested despite the sexy nightwear. Put it another way - for most of us, "subtle" simply does not compute.
Buy some adult toys and gently ask him to join you in learning to use them. It may take a little time for him to warm up to the idea, but a girl really can get an immense amount of pleasure and satisfaction out of those devices - especially if hubby is willing to combine the use of them with more personal "oral technique".

Answer 3

Hi there,

There are 2 kind of ED viz. primary and secondary. Primary ED is either from birth or due to physical damage. Secondary is the one that is happening later due to several reasons (Physical, Psychological or emotional). If it is physical, I mean due to hormonal disorders or due to medications like antidepressents that can be cured by treatment. If it is mental or emotional, a clinical psychologist can help you. If it is secondary ED some times the person will have erection but will fail to retain it for long. During sleeping and all there can be erection. Anyway better to get advise and treatment from professional sexologists than going for viagra. If the problem is mental or emotional viagra has nothing to do. Therefore first you must show him to a professional then take advise accordingly.

Answer 4

Stop wearing sexy nighties and stop giving him blow jobs until he shows an interest in YOU. Giving him blow jobs is not only "initiating sex" but it sends a screaming signals that "honey, let me help you get it up." If you want to intiate something, call a counselor.

Answer 5

tell him to get it up or go down on you till you are satisfied i am not married but it stands to reason that a bj cant help a man with ed and if a bj does the trick he does not have ed he is lazy

Answer 6

The sympathy doesn't help. Just rubs it in and makes him feel worse. Why don't you just take things "in hand" or make a big "O" with your lips? Skip the thong thing, too. Really.

Answer 7

if viagra isnt working, send him back to the doctor, something is really wrong!
my husband uses it and its great!