I walked in on my daughter making out with...?

Question

a girl from her school. they are both only 15 years old. when i saw them, i didn't freak out but i just calmly closed the door and walked away. i didn't want to embarass her. also, i don't mind if my daughter is gay. i just want her to be happy, does anyone else have lesbian daughters? does anyone think that i should be yelling at her? i would rather not, but if you think i should, then maybe i'll consider it...

i would prefer her make out with a girl because i know she wont be able to get pregnant.

thanks for all of your great advice and no i had no idea that my daughter was gay before.

Answer 1

If you are close with your daughter, now would be the time to open the door to this personal conversation - pardon the pun.
Support her, love her and let her know that the lines of communication are open for her.
Voice your feelings on boundaries re: sex in your home or rules you want in place.
Love her, support her...unconditionally

Answer 2

Congratulations! That has to be the smartest parenting move I've heard of in a while. And that's not coming from parent to parent, either - that's from someone who remembers what it was like to be 15. What a tumultuous, chaotic time that age was, right? I'd sure never want to do it again.

Chances are that you may not have a lesbian daughter...yet. This is the age where experimentation runs as rampant as hormones do, and even though you get the basics of sex ed in school (if you're lucky, especially these days), the more important emotional component should come from mom and dad. (Well, if dad's up to the challenge, that is.)

If you haven't already, now's the time for "that talk." Letting her know that it's okay to experiment and that you love and support her is key. So is giving her as much information as she needs about safety, protection and the like, so that she makes smart choices as well.

Kudos to you, mom!

;-)

Answer 3

Hi and good morning....I have to say that you took what you witnessed very graceful and calm..I would have been more shocked and probably upset. Did you know this beforehand that your daughter was possibly 'gay'? You probably should have knocked before you had opened the door then you wouldn't have been surprised...lol..I would sit down with your daughter and calmly talk to her regarding her preference then you can understand her thoughts and views. My son has the same views as your daughter and he just turned 18. I want him to be happy also in what he decides but I also want him to realize the pro's and con's on any relationship. I was angered because the way I found out, I don't think that I would have been that angry if my son would have just come to me and explain on why and his views. When I found out it hit me pretty hard. I wasn't expecting it. Hope this has helped. Have a great day and good luck.

Answer 4

Pls understand that if your close to your daughter and she has not told you its not because she does not trust you. It is a terrifying prospect for a child to come out to their parents for fear of losing their love. You though seem quite calm which is good and your reaction was very commendable. The first thing you should do is sit down with your daughter and explain that if she was lesbian you would not care and would love her the same as you did now. Next tell her what you saw and ask her if she would like to talk about it. Do not force the issue, when she is ready she will talk to you. She may be confused with the emotions going on and may need to sort her own head out before talking to you. Support her, love and cherish her she is your daughter now and always. If you have a husband and you daughter after opening wants to tell him first speak to him on how he feels about gay people casually. This will allow you to gage his possible reaction and occur accordingly

Good luck

Answer 5

What would you have done if she was making out with a boy? Walk out carefully so as not to disturb them? I would treat it in the same manner.
I don't think yelling is the answer, just talk to her about what the rules of the house are whether it would've been a boy or girl.

Answer 6

No you shouldn't yell, but you do want to have the same talk with her you would have if she were making out with a guy. (Minus the potential pregnancy.) Even though some STD's are harder to spread through lesbian sex, there is still the risk of transmission. Get your facts and talk to her.

Make sure she understands that this is the same response you would give if she was making out with guys.

Answer 7

damn.. you are so funny. you rather want ur kid to be gay than get pregnant. hahaha not the point. i wish my mom is like that, if she saw me making out with a guy- that will be end of the world. and if she saw me making out with a girl- that will be end of hell.

make sure you talk to ur daughter about this... maybe she is not gay, sometime kid do those kinda stuff for the heck of it.

Answer 8

Unless you talk to her you have no idea what is going on. So talk to her. Calmly. Ask her what is going on. How does she feel about herself and relationships.

One make-out session does not make her a lesbian or bisexual. Some girls just try it out to see if they like it or not. Curiosity.

Then, if she is going to continue to be with girls, have a heart to heart talk with her about sexually transmitted diseases. Women do pass them on to each other. Do your research.

Answer 9

You absolutely did the right thing, very impressive, congratulations. You don't have to bring it up it you don't wan tot but I think it would crete a more open forum between you for the future if you did. This will be unavoidably awkward but you have those moments. Alternitively you could not mention it but make sure she knows her 'friend' is always welcome at your house and therefore your daughter knows you don't have a problem with it.

Answer 10

Awwww, why aren't there more mothers like you? That's so awesome. My mum would have freaked...not because I woulda done it with another guy, just because I was making out. She has no clue that i've made out before. And if anyone tells her...