My husband is leaving me for this older woman that he is starting a relationship with her. We been together 5 years going on 6 and we have three babies together. This woman gets him everything he wants pleases him in everyway and he seems like he wants to move forward with her. Now he wants to still live with me but he is starting his relationship out there. Why does he still want to live with me if this woman is so great for him? He says that he wants to make sure me and the kids are taken care but he doesn't have to live here for that. I'm trying to figure out what game he is playing. One week he wants me then the next he wants her and it's really stressing me out.
2007-09-16 02:45:58 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is also claiming that she loves him and will do anything for him and he believes her. This has been going on for the past month and a half
2007-09-16 03:12:19 · update #1
BY not leaving you, he can support you and the kids ON HIS TERMS. He doesn't want to lose that control and be hounded by the courts.
2007-09-16 02:49:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to explain to him that you are wanting him to move out so that you won't feel bad about maybe dating some other guys who are interested in you. Tell him that by him being there that it would feel too much like cheating on him and that you need to know for sure that it is definitely over or not between the two of you. Whether you have a new man or not, that will make him think about what his actions may bring and he may see the light. He sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. This may show him that you have the fresher cake so to speak and make him realize that he is trading you in for an old stale piece. Don't let him walk all over you, because you deserve way better.
2007-09-16 10:02:31 · answer #2 · answered by good directions 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me it's all about having his cake and eating it too.....plus if he moves out there's the Child support factor....
If he moves out his finances have just been cut by almost half...depending on where you live and how well the friend of the court works for you....By letting him stay he doesn't have to worry about housing, extra utility bills, groceries, etc....
If he truly wants to build a life with the other woman....then he best hop to it preferably with out the luxury of you still being his chief maid and bottle washer too.... You should not let him take advantage of you. If this other life is so important to him then he needs to move on and let you do the same.... How are you going to be able to do that, especially in the dating department (eventually)....most men would find that a little unsettling....and extremely uncomfortable.... You need to have a life too and to be happy.... Letting him stay will just prolong the inevitable.... You need to look out for you and your children....that's what is most important....Do what is your best interest not his.....and for heaven sake don't stay together for the children's sake.... they will be more hurt and confused in the long run that way......
2007-09-16 11:02:25 · answer #3 · answered by Odyssey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You SO need to realize that at this point, it's not about what HE wants, but what YOU want! Do not leave all of the balls in his court...he messed up and he messed up BAD!
What you need to do is make a decision. If you can live with him, knowing that he's going to her, then that's your choice. If it were me, however, I'd tell him that if he likes her so much, then his butt needs to just go be with her b/c he's not going to get it both ways...you might also add, "So I, too, can find someone who pleases ME in everyway". LOL.
2007-09-16 09:50:53 · answer #4 · answered by lookinforanswers 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know the saying: some men are born polygamous. i don't believe that some married man when given an opportunity to have a second will hesitate to grab it. Your hubby is one of them. unless he knows how to handle the situation everything will be fine.
The good thing here is... he still love you.There's no point arguing which led to fighting and losing respect to each other. Reverse psychological tactics will work by showing your continous love and caring instead.Keep aside your jealousy.
2007-09-16 11:27:29 · answer #5 · answered by poorguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, you deserve someone better than that, and you also need to give your 3 children better examples of what a husband and father SHOULD be.
Tell him to go and be with her....that you do not want him under these conditions. Have some self-respect and get on with your life. I bet he ends up without either one of you.
2007-09-16 09:52:29 · answer #6 · answered by nurse ratchet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stressing you out? That's it? How bout, this should be PISSING YOU OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! You need to run, not walk, to an attorney's office. File for a divorce and clean his clock!
Your lying, cheating, no good husband needs to feel what "stressed out" is like when he has to pay child support. Let the pain begin!
2007-09-16 12:51:46 · answer #7 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He found himself a sugar momma and still has you to go back to. Decide for yourself what you want to do about it.
Me personally? I don't tolerate that kind of behavior and I don't give second chances to mess up again (anymore).
I got burnt twice with cheating abusive husbands. They never changed.
2007-09-16 10:08:02 · answer #8 · answered by peggy m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This man is a liar and a cheat,don't try to figure him out.You will never know what he is up to. Do whatever is good for you and your children. He will probably play these games with you for as long as you let him. I suggest you take the initiative and file for divorce. Good luck.
2007-09-16 10:00:26 · answer #9 · answered by Julius C 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Kick his sorry AZZ OUT!
He's trying to have it both ways, and you are allowing it!!
Tell him to go live with her, then file for divorce & child support. Consider yourself fortunate--you shouldn't waste another MINUTE of your life on this asshole.
And if he tries to talk his way back in your life, do not listen----this will be a pattern that he will keep repeating all your lives.
2007-09-16 10:20:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋