What would you do if you were divorced with an elementary school child and had been with your boyfriend for three years, living with him for two. He treats you great and is wonderful with your kid. Then you suddenly find out that he regularly smokes pot and has been for about 10-15 years, so he's not likely to just up and quit. What would you do?? Just go on with life as usual or tell him that unless he's willing to give it up, your relationship is over?
2007-09-16 02:36:44 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
By the way, this mom has total physical custody of her child, so he's with her and the boyfriend 365 days a year, just to clarify.....
2007-09-16 02:37:37 · update #1
He does keep the pot in the house, but apparently he keeps it where the child cannot reach it and doesn't know about it. He doesn't smoke it in front of the child or the mom, since it was going on for YEARS and she didn't even know about it. :(
2007-09-16 02:44:00 · update #2
And she's asking me what to do.....if she were going to give him an ultimatum (quit the weed or the relationship's over) how would she go about doing that, and how would she know if he's really quit, since he's been hiding it from her for years?
2007-09-16 02:45:27 · update #3
Sometimes he does pick the child up from school as he gets out of work earlier than the mom does. How would she know if he's high around the child or not? I mean, I'm just wondering because it seems she never knew in several years, so how would she know now? Just curious....
2007-09-16 02:50:15 · update #4
And what about the health implications? Will this have a long term health effect on the boyfriend? I mean, if smoking pot regularly will make him die earlier or something, maybe it's better for her to find someone else who take better care of himself? I don't know....I'm just theorizing here.....
2007-09-16 02:51:45 · update #5
I would not give him an ultimatum. I would however lay down the rules never under any circumstances is he to have it in the house , smoke it any where near the house or your child and he may never be high around the child!
It is illegal, as we all know, however there is a surprising amount of people who do this as a recreation drug and they do so descreetly. Smoking pot ocassionally does not make a person bad. BTW I am not one of them.
2007-09-16 02:48:19 · answer #1 · answered by Gayle L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide what is best for YOU in this situation... some people do smoke pot on a regular basis... but i don't agree with it, either.
I hope he is not smoking it in the house or in front of the child.. that would be my main concern.
People say pot isn't addictive, but i think it can be, psychologically.
I hope it works out for YOU... take care of you and that child... it's the best you can do.. hugs
2007-09-16 02:41:19 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a pretty serious thing not to have known and for him to have kept secret, especially with a young child in the family. Time to give him the "quit the pot or the relationship" chat!
2007-09-16 02:40:53 · answer #3 · answered by cautious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my tiny little world, smoking pot is more of a lifestyle choice. Pretty much like being gay. I don't want it in my life and I don't want my partner to expose me to it.
My fiance smoked pot and when I found out about it early on in the relationship, I just told him it wasn't going to work and explained that I don't want someone who smokes pot in my life. There was no negotiatiion. I just told him "be gone". It was his decision to quit in order to have a relationship with me. He says he doesn't regret stopping.
I saw the effects of heavy long term use. The people get really really lazy and you can't even have a decent conversation with them when they are high. They can't DO anything! except smoke pot. I have been told by some people who claim they only do it occassionally that it doesn't really affect their lives. They lie! For what ever brief moment that they are high their life stands still. I just don't want to be exposed to it.
I have no patience for idiots like that. I have even had to work with people who were high. They don't comprehend and damn near got me hurt because of their stupidity.
2007-09-16 04:45:16 · answer #4 · answered by peggy m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a loving ,mother ---
Drop the 'pot head 'and do what is right for your child.
Your child is the most important person in your life ! You are a mother and your job is to provide the best environment possible for your 'babies'
It's all about the child !
2007-09-16 09:09:57 · answer #5 · answered by Bemo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for my section, the nurse in me might have first dealt with the previous woman. although, it extremely is a activity application. i think of the corporate might %. the guy who chosen to help the ideal woman. Employers are searching for for people who're prepared to "grab the day!" i'm no longer asserting it quite is the splendid or ethical element, permit me make that crystal clean! Very exciting question!
2016-10-09 06:50:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing. But I would suggest he take out side away from the child, and please not while the child is watching.
2007-09-16 02:41:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋