I feel my wife is a habitual liar The lies I keep catching her in r little insignifigant white lies but they r still lies & cause me to doubt everything else. last wk she lied 2 me about her location while out w/a friend. she was with who she said but only came clean about being in a different place when an accident delay caused her 2 run 2 hrs late. she kind of had 2 tell me then. yest. she started her text addiction again w/her guy buddy or so i thought. so after a huge fight she swore she checked it but wasnt on it or locking herself in the bathroom to text. so i look at the account this morn. it reveals 143 outgoing & 127 incoming of which i account 4 less than 5. I dont want 2 bel. that she is doint the unthinkable bc I dont but why this huge facination w/texting this other guy. why does she keep lying about nothing at all really. I want 2 know what I can say or do that will shut her down and make her realize how disrespectful she is treating me.
2007-09-16 02:24:06 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you have no trust then there is no relationship, and it sounds to me like maybe you need to leave her and with good reason's. if it was meant to be then she will soon notice what she did wrong and make the change if she really does care.
2007-09-16 02:31:02 · answer #1 · answered by lexy 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I understand where u coming from with the lies because my husband i think is the worst liar because he is always getting caught but he still does it. You have every right to doubt everything she does or says because if it's little things she is lieing about then imagine the big things. I personally do not agree with her sending all those text messages to another man. Whatever she is talking so much with him about she could talk to you and maybe it might be more than what u think. My husband had a little supposively friend and they were texting and calling eachother and come to find out he is leaving me for that person. I got three little ones with him and been with him for 5 years. Confront her about it your her husband you have every right to and if she is not hiding anything then she shouldn't be defensive. Talk calm and let her know ur not comfortable with the situation. And if deep down u have ur gut telling you something is wrong or it doesn't add up to what she is telling u, listen to that because it's always right. Good luck
2007-09-16 02:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by princessnpapito 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There isn't really much you can stay to "stick it to her", what you can do is remove text from you fone....sit down and confront her about the "little white lies" you've caught her in.... I had a friend once that is a habitual liar....it never stops. Generally if there are alot of little white lies...then you'll probably find some whoopers out there too....and I mean life altering lies..... For your own peace of mind confront her.... if it doesn't stop then you may have to take drastic measures... Stand up for your self, and do what needs to be done to resolve the situation....
2007-09-16 04:12:21 · answer #3 · answered by Odyssey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FOCUS YOUR ENERGY ELSEWHERE!!!!!
!. There is no need to "make" her realize that her actions cause you to feel disrespected, wanna know why?
She already knows!
2. 99.9% of us out here reading and responding to your plea would be suspicious of our wife/husband hiding behind a closed door to text or have a conversation with someone, especially the oppisite sex. wanna know why?
Because it is suspicious!
3. Habitual liars (if in fact she is) will habitually attempt to decive you, wanna know why?
Come on dude..... ya know this one, right?
Bad News...
Most of us have or will eventually feel the YUCK effects that go along with "being played for a fool"
Good News....
Believe it or not, recognizing that you have been a fool will open your eyes. Now you can rid yourself of all those crazy obsessive thoughts such as.... why is she lying? When is she lying? Why can't she trust me enough to be honest?
A liar believes that they are smarter than the one they lie to.
A liar believes they are superior to those that they get one over on. Errrrr!
There's a thrill that follows the lie that goes
unquestioned , more so if it is believed.
Don't even think about fussing over your disbelief, thats attention.
Your preoccupation with her lies prevents you from looking out for yourself as well as it feed her ego. And thats how she likes it
You want to shut her down......
Pull yourself up by your boot straps.
Walk out the door without saying a word.
2007-09-16 06:03:22 · answer #4 · answered by aly813 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From your description, she has shown repeatedly that she doesn't even respect you enough to tell you the truth or stop texting her male friend. I am married, and I have been for a long time, and one thing I know for certain is that you absolutely cannot keep a marriage together without trust. She's completely trampled on yours.
I really suggest you tell her either, "I am leaving," or "I am filing for a divorce." I also suggest you do it not to shut her down, but that you do it and follow through.
Life is too damn short to spend it with a woman who treats you like that. Dump her and go find a nice woman who will love you and treat you right.
Be well.
2007-09-16 02:33:00 · answer #5 · answered by Bronwen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1. If the phone is in your name, have it shut off (don't warn her - you can just as easily get a new account in your name only that she wouldn't have access to). Of course, she can always get another phone to continue her texting, but make sure it's in HER name so you don't get stuck with the bill.
2. Send your wife a text mssg. (while she's locked herself in the bathroom to text this guy) that you are going out and just leave. Don't tell her where you are going or how long you'll be gone. Just don't go home. Stay at a hotel or a friend's or even a family member's house. Better yet; have a little apt. all lined up for yourself and then text her, as you're walking out the door, that you're leaving her for good and she can have her little text buddy.
3. Wait till she goes to sleep, grab her phone, and then text her buddy...pretend you are her. (Make sure you hide your vehicle someplace, first)....invite him over, telling him, "My husband's work sent him out of town in an emergency and he won't be back till tomorrow night, you wanna come over?". Wait for him to arrive, lol. Invite him in...let him sit on the couch. Wake her cheating butt up and confront them both.
4. Most cells have the gps thing which you can enable. Checks her to see if she has that. If not; get her one that does. Enable the gps without her knowing it...that way when she's out and about with this dude, you can track where she REALLY is with your computer. Enlist the help of one of your friends...have him doing the tracking and you drive to where they are...get good pictures to give to the divorce court to prove that she cheated on you.
2007-09-16 03:06:15 · answer #6 · answered by lookinforanswers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with Kyle....and so should you.
My last gf was like that, mostly with the 'stories'. She had more stories than the empire state building. Couldn't count on things being consistent from one day to the next.
Things crumbled and there were other factors, but the end result is the same. Her flaky a.s.s is now gone.
It was a shame cuz she had two daughters that I adored, and they adored me back. I MISS them, and from what I gather the youngest (13) blames her mom that she took away her step-dad (that being me). I feel the same. So I just hope kids aren't involved, but nevertheless I wish you luck. We love who we end up loving and sometimes it's hard to 'un-hook', but at times we must.
So, tell her she's done and she can go spend all her time with mr wonderful, and you can go on your way to someone that knows how to carry on a mature and healthy relationship.
All the best of luck to you.
2007-09-16 02:57:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are no innocent lies.
Actually, a good friend of mine joined the Army recently, and his girlfriend back home is cheating on him, but tells him 'little white lies' like she is a the movies with her 'gay' guy friend, when really they are at his house drinking.
The only thing I know is he is naive to thinking she is cheating, believes her lies, so I don't think it is worth it to tell him otherwise. If what you know isn't enough to leave her if she doesn't stop immediately, then you may get really hurt and lose integrity by the time you do leave.
2007-09-16 02:32:39 · answer #8 · answered by xthisworldisminex 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you said "I dont want 2 bel. that she is doint the unthinkable", it sounds like you're in denial.
127 incoming text messages? Come on now. What do you really think that's all about?
From what you've told us, it sounds like she's trying to cover something up. Why else would she lie to you?
2007-09-16 02:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by WilmaF 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would ask her flat out if she would like to be free to be with this other man, because you are not going to stay married to someone that was not being faithful to you. She might not be doing the unthinkable, but it's only a matter of time. You need to find out if she needs something more from you that she is not getting, or if she just wants to run. When you are doing what is right, you don't have to lie about anything. Why is she not going out with you instead of her friends? Remember just because you got married, your woman needs romance like you once gave her. This didn't stop when you got married. Treat her like you did, when you where dating, and believe me she will forget about this othe man.
2007-09-16 02:34:19 · answer #10 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The habitual liars........it comes to a point when you take everything they say with a grain of salt.
I don't know what's wrong with their programming and why they feel the need to lie about everything, even the most insignificant of things, but they do.
It becomes a habit for them and hard for them to break.
As far as making your wife start telling the truth? I think you would need some professional intervention with this one.
2007-09-16 03:32:00 · answer #11 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋