My Mum past away last week?? why dont i cry??

Question

My Mum suffered from a rare form of kidney cancer and was sick for 4 months. I was her primary carer so saw a lot of upsetting and painful things during this time. I am finding it hard to grieve, like i have no emotion?? Can anyone help me? Am i in shock? i dont cry like i thought i would?? I was very close to my Mum

Answer 1

EVERYBODY grieves in their own way.
There is nothing wrong with not crying. It will come and will feel as if it will never stop. But it will eventually.

There is NO RULE that says as soon as someone, especially a close as your own mother, dies then we MUST CRY and act a certain way that society thinks is appropriate. Or that WE feel we SHOULD.

You could very well be in shock which would leave you feeling numb and that it's just not real. I felt that way when my Opa (grandfather) died. Then I relised I would never see him again. Never have our cuddles and laughs. And I would just miss him, and that's when the flood gates opened.

Now I am crying again at the thought!

Give yourself time to accept emotionally, mentally and physically that she has gone to a much better place with no pain.

Sometimes when we are so overwhelmed with emotional it feels as if we are numb and empty. You are feeling so much grief that your mind is just not ready to let it sink in.
Once again give it time. Do not think you are strange. You are very, very normal.

I am so sorry for your loss. I feel so much for you.

PS I am still crying from just writing about Opa.

Answer 2

Everyone deals with death differently, I could be wrong but I think maybe cos you had been the carer and saw lots of upsetting things and u kept strong and probably hid how much you hurt from your mum and how upsetting it was. And now you are in a sort of limbo in shock , you will cry and it could be the simplest little thing that sets you off. take care my thoughts are with you

Answer 3

Everyone grieves in a different way ,some cry some do not, maybe you were glad her suffering is over, and that she is in a better place, When I realized that I would never see my mother again, I felt this profound emptiness in me, And it never went away that was 37 years ago. Now she guides all the actions in my life ,her memory.
I am sorry for your loss, do not feel bad if you do not cry, in your being you know how much she meant to you, and how much you meant to her and you were there when she needed you.
Rejoice that she is in a better place.
God Bless you And may your Mom Rest in Peace.

Answer 4

People grieve in very different ways. If she only passed away one week ago, you might be experiencing denial. You probably need time to process this. I would suggest talking to a friend, family member or someone you really trust about this and see if that helps you move forward with your grief.

I'm sorry that you're going through a hard time right now. Take care.

Answer 5

Everyone deals with things in their own way and on thier own time frame. You are probably in shock, your entire lifestyle has changed over night. You went from being a 24hr caregiver to having no responsibilty, that is a major shock.
You may cry tmrw, may be next week, maybe in a year or maybe never.
It doesn't matter whether you cry or not, it matters that you and your mom both know that you loved eachother. You were there for her when she needed you most, and I'm sure that made her so very proud.

I'm sorry for your loss

Holly R.N.

Answer 6

Honey I am so sorry to read of your loss.

Yes you are in a state of shock now. And that's because it is a shock. But please understand that you Are grieving...you are just doing it right now in your own way and it is totally OK to react the way you are now.

My mom died 3 years ago. I know the blank empty feeling. It doesn't change anything about how you feel about your mom and Please don't feel guilty or bad because you are not crying now. It's a day at a time thing. And how we mourn isn't about crying or not at any "right" time it's about remembering them well and finding strength.

And it's still hard to find words or know what to say except that again I'm sorry. Please feel free to email me if you like...I mean it.

Answer 7

Sorry to hear about you Mum. I think we all grieve in our own way. My grandmother died suddenly almost 4 years ago and I was a basket case for about a year. My great-grandmother passed a year later and I never cried once. I was as close to her as I was my grandmother, but the fact that she was old and had dementia and alzheimers, probably prepared me for her death. So I'm thinking that because you had time to prepare for her death, as she was sick for a while, you're accepting it a lot better than if she had died suddenly.

Answer 8

my friends grandma died that she was very close to. she didnt even show ne emeotion and was the only one at her funeral that ddint cry. then about a month later we were all drinking and all of a sudden she couldnt stop crying. sometimes everything gets bottled up until one moment when you break.
but you have to know that just because you arnt showing emotion doesnt mean that you dont care or that there is something wrong with you!

Answer 9

Give yourself time. There is no timetable on grieving - you will do it in your own time and in your own way.
You are possibly still experiencing a form of shock.
If you are worried about what is not happening, speak to a grief counsillor.
The main thing is - DON'T STRESS - things will happen when the time is right for you.

Answer 10

you are still in shock. You've been through enough to give you post traumatic stress. Your brain is taking a break from the pain because it just cannot handle anymore right now.

That's ok, take it easy. It will hit in you smaller doses over time. God Bless (I lost my mom a few months ago and it's so rought).