My husband and I have been in counseling for over a year because when I was pregnant I discovered that he was having an emotional affair. He is a very immature (think Johnny Knoxville) kind of a guy.
Last night, I found an email that he sent to a sales rep/friend of his. The subject was "Is this what you want?" no text in the body--- just an attachment--- a picture of the head of his penis really close up!!!! What does that mean to you?
So, I started looking at all his emails with this girl: One was an email from her that had a "love advice article" attached to help him. The text of her email said that she thought "your wife and your problem is your pride. I don't talk down to you & I never will." What does that imply to you?
I asked him about this crap, and he said that he wasn't having an inappropriate rltnshp with her. He seemed sincere. My gut is telling me that he was just being stupid & immature by sending the email.... But I think it looks bad from the outside.
2007-09-16 00:57:09 · 21 answers · asked by JennieM 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You think what you want to. "Emotional affairs" is just a term cooked up by someone who wanted to justify transferring their love from one person to another, without the stigma of the physical form of the meaning of "affair"...in essence...an affair is an affair is an affair.
He's not just immature, he's cheating on you. When you promise "to love, honor, cherish....to hold only unto you..." that's what you do.
I realize people are going to be people, and nobody is perfect, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere that a person crosses when there's no going back. I really think he's crossed it, but it's up to you tobelieve him or not.
You and he really need more counseling.
Good luck. (And tell him to quit sending pictures of his penis to people, it IS inappropriate!)
2007-09-16 01:07:12 · answer #1 · answered by bitadkins 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As painful as it seems, it certainly appears that your husband is having at the least an emotional affair and most likely a physical affair. He is unwilling to recognize that whatever the relationship is with the other woman, it is inappropriate from many respects. But most importantly it is inappropriate because it causes you pain and makes you uncomfortable.
For your own sake, you need to put your foot down. He can either have a relationship with her or with you, but not with both. At first, he will probably resist making a choice and tell you that "she is just a friend and you shouldn't pick his friends". That would be a fair statement on his behalf, if he hadn't crossed the line from just being friends to intimacy. But he has crossed the line with her, and you shouldn't accept him having this "friendship".
If he does not ultimately choose to "dump" the other girl and cut all ties with her, then he really is not concerned about your feelings and is not willing to put forth the effort to salvage your relationship. As painful as that might be, you then need to end it now for your own sanity and dignity.
Should he cut all communication with the other girl, you can probably rebuild the relationship. In this case, you will need to recognize that his relationship with the other woman sprang up because he had some unfulfilled needs. You will have to figure out what those needs were and fulfill them. Good luck to you!
2007-09-16 01:28:54 · answer #2 · answered by miziejean 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think that you are in serious denial here.
Sending a picture of his penis to someone and you think that maybe it's just because he's immature???
It's seems to me that immaturity is the least of your problem here.
What would you have said to your daughter if she would have come to you telling you that not only had her husband had an emotional affair when she was pregnant, but that he's still behaving in a totally shocking and disgusting way for a married man.
I am not telling you to go and get divorce, that's a personal choice, but at least be honest with yourself.
That's the only way to move forward.
2007-09-16 01:47:57 · answer #3 · answered by Kc 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sorry honey, but any man that sends a picture of his penis to another woman....is cheating and probably has been for awhile. My ex-husband did the same thing online to me and it took me years to find out about the several affairs that he did have. I am now happily divorced from him and I say good riddance to cheating husbands, because they always have an excuse, story, or lie to tell and they DON'T ever stop, no matter how sincere they seem! Goodluck~
2007-09-16 01:05:00 · answer #4 · answered by dreamgirl21 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, this man isn't worth your trouble! If he is willing to cross the line of good taste with the few items you have mentioned...there is no telling what you haven't found out about. Of course the first thing he is going to do is deny, deny, deny. Find someone who will respect you. Most men who exhibit this behavior may be good for a while, but I really doubt he changes his behavior. He can't even admit he has done anything wrong. Save those emails for the divorce lawyer! You deserve better.
2007-09-16 01:30:18 · answer #5 · answered by Really now 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Follow your gut on this one. He sent a pic of his penis to her. While he may not have slept with her yet, he is definitely up to something. There is the old saying that a leopard never changes his spots. He had an emotional affair once that you are aware of and chances are that he is up to it again. You do not need to have someone like that in your life and you should just cut him loose.
2007-09-16 01:08:13 · answer #6 · answered by bluemysti 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so we know the point of the email is that she wanted his penis. What a wh*re! What's wrong with this b**ch that she can't find her own available man! And why are you with a man who can't control his urges? This guy is not interested in a monogamous relationship at all. Move on b/c your husband already has. Sorry.
2007-09-16 04:47:21 · answer #7 · answered by Rabbit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Earth calling "the betz", Earth calling "the betz"! Let me get this straight: Your man sends a picture of his penis to another woman, and you're QUESTIONING whether or not he's having an affair? Are you kidding? Don't you mean to ask "HOW MANY WOMEN IS MY HUSBAND SLEEPING WITH?" How much proof do you need? Are you expecting this liar to actually come out and admit to you that he's sleeping around?
2007-09-16 03:13:15 · answer #8 · answered by Sondra 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am going to say he is having an affair. Sending a picture of a close up of his penis is not acceptable under any circumstance! Send him packing!
2007-09-16 02:17:39 · answer #9 · answered by green_clovers66 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are married to a liar and a cheat. Do you think he's going to tell his g/f that you are wonderful? And really, when is it ever appropriate to send a pic of the head of your penis to anyone?
Get a get a lawyer, your marriage is over.
2007-09-16 01:12:08 · answer #10 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋