Why are we so predictable? is it just polite?

Question

When people say hi - how are you today - most of us say 'fine', but we are thinking - oh my back hurts, or no I've had no sleep etc., but we smile and say fine...... or do we.....

Ollie - you're so right, then I pateintly stand and listen to all their ills lol

Answer 1

You're right my friend, I think it's both, we are predictable but we do it more out of politeness I believe. I've even said it to my doctor when he asks me "how are you". Only to realise what I've just said and expect him to ask what the hell are you doing here them.
Where do you find these interesting questions from? do you spend all night thinking of them so that you can ask them the next day?

Answer 2

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.....so goes the old saying. You're so right when you say that most of us say 'Fine', even when we're not; this is because we don't want to depress people with our stories of illness. We may also believe that if we keep saying 'Fine!', the pains, etc., may go away, whereas some just don't like admitting to illness, as they see it as a weakness! Occasionally we ask the question and get a true answer, but don't you just wish you hadn't asked when that happens! So, I guess we do only ask to show polite concern, but it's only an extension of saying 'Hi', and doesn't necessitate a true answer, as most people realise!

Answer 3

the older generation always had a pat answer because it was just a greeting phrase to be polite. I didn't realize the world had changed but round about 1990 I was out of work and so were a lot of other people, and I went to the state's job services and the interviewer asked me "how are you?" I responded (acknowledging that he was interviewing me) that it bothered me that I was out of work, and how I was looking for work, and, and he stopped me dead in my tracks and said meanly "I meant that literally" and he walked off not to be seen again. I gritted my teeth and realized that my opening up was part of the newer generation, because prior to that time we didn't open up and all had couth. The world and I had changed.

My mother, when asked how she was, would respond either of two ways: "I'm fine...nobody would listen anyway if I said otherwise" and she'd smile. ...or she told me once: "when asked how you are, always say you are fine, hoping that God will make it so."

But with todays blogs, q&a, net friendships and acquaintances we're all ready, willing and encouraged to tell all our problems. The world has changed.

Have you ever in person (i.e. off the net) talked to a career professional, your boss, your family, or a neighbor like you would to someone on the internet and in IM? They look at you as though something is wrong with you....lol...so the internet is an entirely different world (50% of the USA doesn't use the computer), a different way of speaking, and to an extent it's a fantasy world. . I've known of several people who talked to their boss like they talked to us in the chatroom and they lost their job.

I've noticed that on the net, if you tell someone you have something wrong with you, for instance, a broken leg...then for the next 6 years they will ask each time they see on in IM...."how's your broken leg"...and it gets real tiresome. It's better not to say about what's happened to you.

Answer 4

Lol that is true,well it's just being polite,fine covers everything even though we might not necessarily mean it You don't want to go into to much detail it's like how are you is a greeting like 'Hi' which should just have a short reply when you get more into a conversation then maybe you might tell more.

Answer 5

it could be down to the way our neural pathways are formed, but each group of people class, race, nationality, religion will have certain rituals, and these are meams (think I've spelt that right) which act like a contagiouse desease the more people that do something which is percieved as cool, wholesome, or benafitial the more people want to do it. but with things like what we know very few people actualy think about it and spout others knowledge as their own. so it is a case litteraly of a chief and native american (to be pc) sociaty where few people lead and the rest follow

Answer 6

I NEVER actually want to be asked how I am anyway. I dont wanna talk about it. Typical English perhaps - its just a greeting really anyway. The person asking doesn't actually want to know how you are anyway so ya might as well say 'fine' and get away as fast as possible.
Am I right? (lol) you changed your pic back I notice

Answer 7

Well, like I always say, we're no different than parrots. People repeat words without actually meaning them or thinking about what they're saying. They only say them because they were taught to. I don't think it has anything to do with being polite. Besides, most people are lying by saying "fine" or "good"....

Answer 8

I usually do feel fine but if I have a problem then I tell the person in the hope that they may have a solution to my problem and I hope they do the same with me which they usually do.

Answer 9

I honestly think that when people ask that, they don't really care how you are doing genuinely, it's just polite filler, so people will just say fine and move on with their day. No one wants to seem whiney.

Answer 10

Because we have so little time and going through our aches and pains is boring when it's for the umpteenth time. I do tell them if my gammy foot is playing up which is almost all the time now. It even hurts when I have it elevated.

I try not to be rpedictable.