Why are adults so convinced that..?

Question

teenagers don't know what love is? I spoke to a very intelligent and reasonable woman(40+ years of age) and I asked her "why do adults generally say that we don't know what love is? if it isnt love, then what are these feelings that I feel for him that burn so strongly called?" and she replied "A person your age can love just as deeply and strongly as an adult can". so why do adults say that we don't know what love is, I'm quite sure there are some mature teenagers that do understand what it is(everyone has their own definition of love), and they certainly know when they are feelign it. So please tell me why adults are so quick to assume that they know so much more than teenagers and they think that we don't know what we are talking about?

Well I've been in a relationship for 9 months, and my bf is 5 years older than me, but we haven't done anything sexual because we are takign it slow. Although we love each very much.

Dear mother of 2, I will not have future children becaues I'm not interested in adoption and two gay men can not produce a child. The fact that you have lived longer does not necessarily mean you know what is best/better than us. I have only had one boyfriend(my current one), and the know-it-all attitude that you have is what makes teenagers resent alot of adults. OK, so some people will fall and crash emotionally because of stupid mistakes ont heir part, but if a teenager is smart & lucky enough(like myself), then it is possible that they can find the love of their life whilst being a teenager.

Our love has been challenged somewhat, for instance our relationship is long distance, I've had to go through the pain of loving one guy(him) and liking another guy, but I overcame that and we're still together.

Answer 1

I think adults say these things only because they don't want to see you hurt or because they don't like the time and effort you are putting into a relationship. The truth is that teenagers can love and do love just as deeply as adults. I was a only 17 when I feel in love and he was 16, I had lots of BFs before him but none of them had the same feeling to me as he did and guess what, after 12 years we are still very much in love and happy. So if I would have listened to my parents I may have missed out on the most important relationship of my life.

Answer 2

I think adults feel this way because they have usually had more life experience than most teenagers. When you are a teen, the love you feel is totally uncomplicated by life. As an adult, many things can get in the way of love (work, kids, jobs, etc) and we let them. Maybe adults feel that because your love isn't hindered by life it's not real. There may be a certain truth to that, too. Your love for your boyfriend hasn't been challenged and tested as thoroughly (if at all) as an older couples. You can say it has, but has your love survived abortion, death, children, adoption, infidelity, poverty, tragedy, seperation, illness and much more? It doesn't make it less real, it makes it more innocent. It's also true that a person does a lot of changing between 16 and 26. You may not even recognize yourself when you look back on it. As you grow and mature you start to want different things and may grow apart. This is the number one reason why young marriages have a high failure rate. I think the statement "you don't know what love is" is inaccurate. A more accurate statement would be "You don't know all that love is" and there is no way you can at your age. There are some things you need to live through yourself to understand. Life experience is why adults assume they know more than teenagers, but it's not always true. At 16 I had lived through and survived more than many adults will ever have to in 80 years. Good Luck to you and your boyfriend.

Answer 3

I'm 17, nearly 18 and I've been in my relationship for 27months. My boy friend is 19. I love him and I am in love with him and no one can argue that. We've been through so much like him moving to a different city, long distance relationship, dealing with my depression and abuse etc. He's the only person in my life that I can trust and I would be

nothing without him.

I know adults who have been with their partners for 6months and they've gotten married. That's crazy! How can you love and know someone after 6months to know that you want to spend the rest of your life with them?

My boyfriend and I know our relationship may not last for ever but what we feel is true love, it's only grown stronger.


Some adults are just spiteful and don't understand.

But 13 year olds in love, I do have a hard time understanding, especially when they've been together only a few months.

When my friends have been with a guy and they come to me and tell me they're 'in love' I tell them, 'no you're in like!'

Love takes more than a few months, it takes years, I think my relationship still has further to go and I could still love him more than I do!!

Answer 4

Many parents are so protective over their children that it is almost be inevitable for a teen to get this sort of comment from them. Parents are conditioned by many different sources, their parents, their past mistakes, society (their generation) and primal instinctive protectiveness and so on. So answering your question is not as simple as it may seem.

Personally I believe love is most alive in the young, primarily because the heart is still pure and untainted by past hurts and mistakes. Also, love is an individual experience and not easily generally defined. No one sees your experience as you do.

On the other hand the world is full of dangerous situations and many teens are beautifully bold and free spirited. This can appear as fool heartiness to parents. Although you probably do not see yourself as a fool, but you may see your parents as stubborn fools for assuming they know what you know in your heart to be true.

If a parent is trying to tell you what you are doing wrong or just telling you what to do. Ask them to help guide you but allow you to make your own decisions and learn from your own mistakes and to support you if by chance you fall. The parent most likely is trying to keep you from falling even if you aren't going to.

Most importantly, both of you have a right to your own perceptions and opinions. Both parent and teen should respect each others perceptions and opinions through verbal expression. At least that way you can communicate more peacefully and perhaps you both can learn from each other.

We are never too old to learn. - Out the mouth's of babes - Do not judge a man before you walk a mile in his shoes.

Jammer

Answer 5

Most adults are afraid to edmit that teenagers know what love is because most of them do not know themselves. Also they fear that they will lose control of their child if they think that are in love with someone else.

I am like the woman you talk to. I feel that at any age love is love. Tho it does change over the years and what to someone at 14 feels might not be the same kind of love at 17 or 30. But it is still love.

Answer 6

Good luck on your relationship. You sound mature and reasonable.

The problem in understanding love or any strong emotion is a question of perspective. Older people also know that strong emotion clouds judgment.

When I was 21 I dated and got engaged to a woman who was all wrong for me. At the time I thought I was in love, and maybe I was, but everyone around me knew our relationship was bad. She eventually cheated and left. I was devastated. About a year later I met my soul mate and we have been married over 14 years.

Looking back at with the benefit of time I can see that my "love" clouded my judgment.

Answer 7

As a teenager you are probably have your first experiences. Boys are interested in sex, and girls are interested in love and willing to give sex to get love. Remember that all adults have been teenagers at one time and are probably speaking from experience. If you can learn from someone's experience without going through the experience yourself, you might save yourself some pain and heartache.

Answer 8

Maybe because adults were teens at one time in their lives and some of the feelings associated with teenage love is hard and it can hurt and leave scars. It is not that you don't know what you are talking about, but, with everything else in life, with age comes wisdom and at the teenage stage, wisdom isn't something that runs rapid. Be patient, I know it is hard but the adults aren't always wrong and are trying to protect you if nothing else. God Bless.

Answer 9

It's a myth that prevents kids from having rights. Teens are just as capable of love as an adult.

Answer 10

i agree with the 40+ lady, a teen can love as deeply and strongly as an adult can...... but adults think that they are the only one who knows everything...