Please help me get my life together!?

Question

I am 24 almost 25.

1.I am repeating several F's in my ba so it will take me a
year and half to realistically do it.
2.I have been losing weight (from 238 to 200 goal is 145
I am 5'5)
3.I take care of my mother and accompany her to all her
doctor visits.
4.I am taking classes full time this semester and work 30
hours a week.
5.I would like to buy a house so my mother can be happy
that I am doing sometime since everything else is taking
so much time but I make about 20k a year.
6. I would like to have kids someday, but I have never been
in a serious relationship yet.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed. I know I am doing the right
things to get my life in order, but sometimes I feel like I will
have to keep the intensity and I cannot falter. Or I should have already figured this out and shouldn't take love/career this long.

Answer 1

You've got a lot to deal with, please don't be hard on yourself.

Here are some solutions:

1 and 4) You may have to take fewer classes in order to do better in the ones you're taking. Figure on two hours of study outside of class for every hour in it.

3) There may be caregiver services near you that can help you with your mother's care. Look into local social service agencies. Ask United Way or www.faithinaction.org, or your local church, if they can help.

5 and 6) Are just going to take time. I wouldn't expect you to be there anytime soon, you have a lot of other things to deal with.

Do you have siblings who can help? Or other family? Also, there may be a counseling service at your college that is free that can help you with advice or connections. You should also check with your financial aid office to see if you can get more financial aid so you can work fewer hours.

Good for you on the weight loss. I wish you luck with all of this!

Answer 2

You are doing well. Do not stop pushing yourself. But, do not sabotage your morale by expecting more of yourself than is humanly possible, OK? You have a job and are going to school. You make a decent salary for a student. You are taking care of your health and are losing weight. You demonstrate an outstanding sense of family responsibility related to caring for your mother. You aspire to buy a house and have love and marriage and family in your live someday. Did you just hear all of that? You are like one of the most wonderful women I've met in a long time. I would be VERY proud to have you as my daughter, hon. It's a tougher world today. Like I tell young men on here all the time, keep your head on straight and forget courtship / marriage / and family for a couple of years. You do not want to spend the rest of your life having to struggle so hard. The only way that you can continue to rise and to reach your dreams and goals is to get that education come hell or high water.

Work harder. Stay serious. Continue to lose weight and get dang healthy. These years are for YOU. Get yourself into the very best overall position you can over the next 24 months. Aim to be your BEST before starting a family. Look at every day as preparation to be in a position by then to actually be able to raise a family in style, with some grace and dignity. Give your future self all the advantages that you can pour into her so that SHE can can have it made in the shade. Love will come, hon. Especially for a woman like you. I absolutely promise that. Now, go to bed and get some sleep. No moping. Stay on schedule. Chin up. Use your brains. And, give your mother a kiss for me.

Answer 3

Take one step at a time dear. Do not worry about the house and kids yet, many people are starting families later. You are stressing yourself out, and this is not good. Sit down and make a list of priorities. I would see if you can get some help with Mom, at least occasionally. Your schooling should be of first importance right now, with it you will be able to get the house easier. Good luck!

Answer 4

Wow! Take a deep breath...everyones path is unique. You gotta just keep plugging away at life, no one is going to give you anything, and would you really accept charity anyway? I just went back to school this year after 16 years between high school and college, (I'm 31) and yeah, its hard with work and all, but let's face it, you gotta have college before you can get any good job. As for your love life, love will find you. You just gotta have faith.

Answer 5

I'm amazed at all that you are doing. I salute you. But, I also feel that you are putting too much pressure on yourself. Don't try to do it all at one time. Look at some things as a goal after you have accomplished some of these things on your list. Slow down a bit and smell the roses.