I was naturally devastated but friends said he was genuinely remorseful as he told me as soon as it happened and said he would do "whatever it takes" to repair the damage. My question is; 'what do you classify as cheating'? Emotionally & physically - a kiss? sleeping with someone else? Would you take him back? Thx for your responses!
2007-09-15 19:45:30 · 24 answers · asked by Help! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Kissing is cheating. Being too close and friendly with another woman is cheating. Having intimate and sexual thoughts or fantasies about another woman is cheating. of course, sleeping with another woman is cheating. Going out on a date with another woman is cheating. That's how I feel! No husband of mine should be doing any of the above because that is what I am here for! Why would you marry someone if you couldn't avoid doing this forever!!? It depends on you and your forgiveness level and also how remorseful he was on rather or not you should take him back. Personally, if it were my husband after much punishment, I would probably take him back. But, I would make him BEG! All in all if you love him and you value your vows, you guys can make it!
2007-09-15 19:55:47 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. T 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Cheating is the willful acting out on the desire to be with another person. No, I wouldn't take him back for a couple of reasons #1, he has a desire to be with someone else and worst of all, she works with him. She is inside his head. #2, his desire for her was soooooo strong that he acted out on it. Do you think because he was caught that that desire will go away? #3, How would your parents feel about you spending the rest of your life (or worse yet) having children with this type of guy? #4. If he would do this after only 1 1/2 years of marriage when you still look good, imagine what he would do after 5 years of marriage? How much of your life do you feel like wasting? #5, you'll never get over this. You'll always be looking over your shoulder and checking him out. Is that the way you want to live the rest of your life? This happened way too early in your marriage. Personally, you're better off ending the marriage now and finding a man of good character.
2007-09-16 09:32:47 · answer #2 · answered by Sondra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well cheating can really be something little as leading another girl on or flirting. You see, even that can psychologically screw with the girl, as she may actually begin liking him and wanting to take things further. Then pressure is applied by the girl and things get screwed up. But that is a worse case scenario, mind you, but doesn't mean its right. At the end of the day, yes it was still cheating, but it was just a kiss, luckily othing else and he is truly remorseful and it should'nt ruin a year and a half of devoted love that could go for so much longer. If you take him back though, you must make it clear, it can never happen again, because it is cheating. Hope this helps
2007-09-15 20:00:49 · answer #3 · answered by vallemonty 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You're asking, "Would you take him back?"
If you've already booted him out why are you asking the question as to whether his behaviour was cheating? Seems like you've already made up your mind in that regard - or are you having second thoughts & now trying to justify your earlier decision?
If you want to cease a marriage because hubby kissed someone at work then it's a good thing this event happened now - because if you're so untrustworthy you would soon find other aspects of his behaviour, in years to come, to be critical of.
2007-09-15 20:09:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depends how the kiss was given, if just on the
cheek, then it could be a form of greeting as
some of our friends we, wife and I kiss on the
cheek of the opposite sex. However if it was any
other kind then it's an affair that could end up
cheating. However you as the wife have the right
to talk it with him as if you think it is in-appropriate
then tell him and let him know that you do not like
it and he as your husband needs to respect that
and adjust, and if he does then that will prove that
he loves you and respects you as a wife.
2007-09-16 05:02:52 · answer #5 · answered by RudiA 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must be honest with yourself and look inside yourself. Are you perfect? Have you ever flirted or done something that you felt inside crossed the line? Have you even thought about crossing the line. We all make mistakes and a kiss can be forgiven. Don't become a snooper because of it either. Show your husband that you are strong and above all that by just being you and forget about it. Wait 6 months and reflect on your relationship then. If it's good, then wait another 6 months and take another look.
2007-09-15 20:22:24 · answer #6 · answered by giselehere 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, so I am the only one confused about this question.
"He told me as soon as it happened".
He came home and said "I kissed ---today at work today"??
"friends said he was genuinely remorseful"- who's friends his or yours? Did they witness this kiss ??, or is he sleeping on their couch now-
How in the world do they know how "genuine" his remorse is???
I'm guessing he got caught kissing someone- and decided to admit to it, since they were going to tell you anyway.
Yup- making out with a co-worker IS cheating. The relationship HAD to be taken to a level that it shouldn't have been (sex or no sex) which compromises the marriage. Would I take him back- No WAY. In his mind there are still other women that he wants to kiss- case closed in my book. but that's just me.
2007-09-16 07:03:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband has tried hard to work on gaining your trust often and/or every single day, then give him credit for it. If he just says he would do whatever it takes to repair this damage and doesn't do anything, then it's all talk and no action and it's not good enough. He should practice what he preaches. Perhaps going to marriage counseling helps.
2007-09-15 19:56:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes that would be classed as a form of cheating unless his job was an actor and he needed to do a kissing part in a scene.
Personally I think just 1 kiss is not something you would want to throw your marriage away over especially since he came clean straight after it happened. Go to couples councilling or do whatever to repair the marriage. Give him another chance to prove himself to you but if he so much as hugs another woman in the future I think you will need to dump him straight away and move on.
2007-09-15 20:01:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
The fact that there was guilt associated with it means that is was not an innocent friendship kiss.
This is cheating, it starts with a kiss. A kiss can be a sensuous expression of things to come. Whether to take him back or not is your decision. I would not, because later it will only escalate into more cheating.
2007-09-15 19:58:23 · answer #10 · answered by Seeking 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋