how can i forget my ex -boy freind?

Question

we were be freind for 4 years and wanted to married.but i dont know whar happened and all that love changed and become hate.can i forget him?

Answer 1

Saye, I am afraid that there is no way to rush this process, it is a loss, something like death, but the person that you were in a relationship is still alive, but not in your life. I can only tell you what I was told to do and what I have seen other people do when they suffer a break-up. At the time it seems like the end of the world, and that there is no one else for you, but that is not necessarily true. You may feel like isolating and sinking in despair, but even if it seems hard, do your best not to be alone. Spend time with friends or try to think of some things that you might like to do that you have never done before. At first, try to do things that you would not associate with things that you did together with your ex-boy friend. Very often if a relationship ends in hatred, it probably wouldn't have worked out in the long run, but I don't know the circumstances of your break-up, so I cannot tell you how to deal with those feelings. What I can do is tell you that if you do not feel good about yourself, it is harder to get on with your life and be happy again. Doing or learning some creative things that will help make you feel good about yourself are a tremendous help. After a particularly hard breakup years ago, a dear friend of mine encouraged me to start coming to a ceramics class with her one night a week, and after a while, I began to look forward to it, and I found that I had the ability to do things that I never thought I could do. I moved on to china painting, and I made a lovely statue that many people thought was store bought. When you find little ways to develop a healthy self-image and learn to feel good about yourself OUTSIDE of a relationship, you never know, you may meet someone with whom you can have a healthy and happy relationship, but-Don't rush it! Relationships on the rebound may result in another break-up if you haven't healed from the previous one. Too often people rush into another relationship, not because of a feeling of mutual affection, but out of the fear of being alone. Take care of healing yourself and being good to yourself, cry if you need to, but whatever you do, don't spend too much time alone. It will only prolong the agony. I know; I did that, and until I forced myself to find my own interests and pursue them. I even went back to school and got my B.A., and by the way, before I was done, I had found the love of my life, (not at the college) and wondered what I had ever seen in the one who "broke" my heart! I was enjoying my education and not even thinking about getting into another relationship when it "happened"! When I learned to love myself, I attracted someone who truly loved me, and it can happen to you, too, believe it or not. Don't give up dear. Just get out, even if it is hard at first and don't actively seek another relationship at first; seek to find yourself and what interests you first. The rest will follow. I wish you the best, and most of all, I wish you happiness. Be good to yourself.
CAS44077

Answer 2

The best thing to do is go on with your daily life and try not to think about it. I know how you feel, I was in a similar relationship, which ended almost 3 yrs. ago, after I hated the guy (and had good reason to), I never see or talk to him, yet he still haunts my memory on a daily basis.

I don't think we can ever just forget someone that we were emotionally involved with especially for 4 years. I'm not trying to discourage you, but the best 'solution' I have found is talking about it. If you have a close friend, therapist or even your mother or sister, let it all out, don't keep it bottled up. If you don't release all of your negative energy towards him it will consume you. The more you let out the better you will feel, and after a while things that trigger emotions or memories about him will become less intense and less frequent.
Don't focus your energy on hating him, all that will do is make you unhappy, focus on the present and the good things in your life right now.
No he will probably never vanish from your memory, but all you can do is, try to redirect your attention to better, happier things.
Don't worry, I know at first it's agonizing, but it will get better with time. Good luck.

Answer 3

My daughter went through the same situation. The world had came to an end when she broke up with her true love. She moped around the house and didn't go out. She just studied her home work. That lasted about a month, then she got over it because someone asked her out, and then all of a sudden she just forgot about her ex "True love" and concentrated on her new boy friend.

So what you need to do, is forget about him and move on. Once you find someone else, then it won't matter about the old BF at all.

So you'll be OK, just don't waste your time worrying about the past and instead plan your future. Life is short, don't waste your time by being unhappy, enjoy the ride.

good luck.

Answer 4

As a good friend of mine once told me after a break-up, "The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference". Hate is just the same emotion redirected. When you no longer care then you are over him. How to do this is something that takes time and you will have to find your own methods. It is supposed to take about a month and a half for each year you were together. Try to stay busy with friends and hobbies. Do things you really enjoy, especially if you did not do them when you were together. "gam zeh ya'avor" (Hebrew for, 'this too shall pass')

Answer 5

The best way to forget about someone is to talk it out. If it ended on a bad note, your going to have it stuck in you head for a while if not the rest of your like. and who knows maybe after talking it out you to can be friends again. (Hey there was some love in the beginning and I know there's some more deep down)

Answer 6

Well its not easy, but You can do it. I was with a guy for over thirteen years. I was finally able to let a new person into my life, and that helped me let go of the past jerk in my life. Be strong, you will be able to put a handle on your feelings for your ex. There are a lot of great guys out there just waiting to me a girl like YOU.

Answer 7

Ask yourself: Why am I still thinking of him? If you think of him, you may still have feelings for him. Get engaged in social activities and try to forget anything that reminds you of him. Let the burden go.

Answer 8

Write his name on a small piece of paper. Find something small that belonged to him. Put both into a bottle or a box, or tie them up in a piece of fabric. Then drop them into a river, or the sea.

Answer 9

Try not to think about him. u can not forget him in one or two nights. it needs time. You need time, TIME is the cure for it. but again sometimes u would remember him (but it wont hurt u )!

Answer 10

i know its hard but try to stop thinking about him.. shift your attention to other things and people around you.. he's not worth it..