My husband has this friend whos kids are the same age as ours & they're very good friends! When her kids stay the night at our house she sends her sister to pick them up the next day. She says "Hey, why don't you pick up the kids, that way you can hang out with xxxx (me) for the day." I understand that she works weekends & it's easier for her sister to pick them up, but I can't get this lady out of my house. At dinner time I told her straight out there wasn't enough for me, my 2 kids, my husband, her and the other 2 kids. She looks at it & says "I think that's plenty." & "Oh, the kids don't eat that much." Then I hint that we're going to be going to bed shortly to her & I keep telling my kids "10 more minutes till bedtime." Then I got up & laid on the couch with my youngest daughter and closed my eyes for a while & my son was laying on the floor---she still wouldn't leave. For some reason I couldn't get out the words "Could you LEAVE!!!?" Should I talk to the mom or the sis?
2007-09-15 18:54:51 · 6 answers · asked by ♥bigmamma♥ 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
The sister is kinda weird too! She stares at people a lot! My 6yr old even commented on that! She lost 5 of her own kids! And just lost a job because of some kinds of a criminal background check.......She's came over a few times & stays for hours & hours & no matter what I say, she woun't leave! Also I don't want to ruin the kids friendship or feel weird if she ever comes over & brings her sister, who by the way lives with her...
2007-09-15 18:57:59 · update #1
BigM,
what the "heck"? With your detailed description of the "stuff" listed here - I am surprised she is even in your home. First, tell the "MOM" to NOT send her Sister over to your home to pick up the kids. You HAVE to be blunt; yet, gentle with the fact that your kids and hers are good friends. Something like the following should be discussed - let's say your friends first name is "Tina". "Tina, I really enjoy having the kids get together but I have a concern and I was hoping we could discuss this in a friendly way. Your sister "Barbara" creates a very uncomfortable situation for me in my home when you send her to pick up the kids...." Take it from here BigM or we can discuss further "off-line".
"Criminal Background Check" failed? Can you just say "red-flag"? I mean "red-flag" for you and the kids? Your friendship with the other Mom and kids and is exactly that...your friendship with the other Mom and kids, not the sister.
Stand your ground, gain some spine, and do what is best for you and the kids.
Best to you!
Gerry :)
2007-09-16 00:29:44 · answer #1 · answered by Gerry 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Big M you sound just like me.......I get in the same situations...It's hard for me to say things to people then I get walked on all over..I try to be nice help people and they take advantage of me, I feel that's what they are doing. One girl I know has it in mind I am obligated to help her if she helps me.. I mean if she gives me a dozen eggs cause she knows we have no food, She wants us to babysit for 5 hours a 7 month old and a 2 year old for the eggs.........The only way I could stop that was not answer her calls... But enough of me telling u my problems.
I don't think telling the sister will do any good. You need to talk to your friend one of the first things......Just start talking about her sister and ask her why her kids were taken away, seems like she has some mental issues. Or past drug issues. If you drive take the kids home yourself. Only have the kids over when you know you can take them home. Or if you take them to the park. If the sister does manage to be over, tell her you have to get up early, then tell the kids it's time to go. Your gonna have to start telling her, my kids are going to bed now. You drive safe going home..... Your friend might be sending her sister there to get her out of her hair too, so you get stuck with her! Or if all else fails don't answer the phone when she calls. Give yourself a break from her sister..Since you know when your friend works try not to have her kids over then.. She is taking advantage of you believe me she will take you for all your worth.......Not money either. Good luck to you.............
2007-09-16 02:25:18 · answer #2 · answered by Dianne L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell her that I am sorry but you are going to have to leave so we can go to bed. I mean that's the only way she is going to understand because apparently she can't take a hint or doesn't want to take one. I would just be direct and as nice as possible and tell her how you feel. I am concerned with her background and the fact that she lost her kids. I would be concerned with her being in my house and not knowing exactly what is in her past. Is there someway you can find out about this? If you tell her how you feel and they get angry with you then try not to feel bad. You can't let people take advantage of you and it seems that is what she is doing. I hope things work out for you.
2007-09-15 19:51:14 · answer #3 · answered by Turtle 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe she likes being around your family. You should talk to her privately and nicely tell her that you and your family needs time to be alone. Tell her how the kids feel.
l know it's difficult but it's the only way she'll know how you feel. You own the house so you have the right to call the shots.
Good luck.
2007-09-15 19:07:53 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I like Gerry D's answer to this one. And of what he advises doesn't work then pack up your kids in the car and tell her that you have plans and that you are leaving. She has no choice but to leave then. Good Luck.
2007-09-16 03:02:39 · answer #5 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think I would talk to mom.
2007-09-16 04:19:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋