Don't most feminists follow at least SOME gender roles?

Question

How many feminist buy their clothes from the mens department? How many feminists let their body hair grow out? How many feminists shave their heads bald? How many feminists sleep on their couch and let their male friends use their bed?

If feminist are against gender roles, why are they willing to follow certain gender roles? No gender roles means no gender roles... right?

Answer 1

Zikiru said: "I'm against them being forced-too many women [including myself] are told that we're only here for childbearing/taking care of the children, staying at home, cleaning cooking etc. We're told too often that if we're not 'beautiful' by societies standards, we're useless. Too many people feel forced to follow their gender roles, including men."

Come on. Have you ever ACTUALLY been told any of that? Other than if you were in someone's face and they were trying to get you to **** off? Seriously, we're all told that those things are said, but I have NEVER been told ANY of that, and I've been in the working world probably as long as some of you have been alive.

About men wearing womens' clothing - why on Earth would they WANT to? Men are pretty comfortable being themselves, for the most part. Cross-dressers and trans-gendered individuals DO dress as women, so what's your argument?

About women wearing skirts, we haven't had to since before I was born. I wear them because they look pretty, and because my legs look nice in them. I am actually more comfortable in a dress, although I still wear shorts on the weekend, or pants when it gets cold.

Here's the thing, though: you can't just say "Screw you, I can open my OWN door!", and then want a man to change the water in the water cooler because it's heavy, or change a flat tire because it's a grimy job.

Answer 2

We only follow certain gendered activities that we find desirable. Shaving one's armpits and sleeping in one's own bed won't affect someone's life in any significant way. We are opposed to gender roles that have been hoisted on us by society, usually in an effort to send us home.

I buy my clothes from the women's department, for I am a woman, and the stuff in the men's department doesn't suit me — I would look like I was wearing a parachute. I shave my armpits and legs, for I find body hair on a woman unsightly, though I don't care how other women feel about it. I have a full head of hair, and I've had one ever since I was born. Literally. And if a male friend needed to crash, I'd let him use the spare bedroom.

Answer 3

Well, it's hard to get bent out of shape over this. As Miss Manners often says, the ways one is used to have a charm to them; violating them is jarring. Myself, I wouldn't notice, and didn't even realize there was a thing about serving females first. But, until the oldest generation is gone, there probably are a lot of people who care. Social life is different -- the little meaningless gestures are just that: meaningless. Noticing people's sex in the business world is the problem. (The example is social, since most people dine out to socialize; that is, the customers are engaged in social behavior, though the servers are doingbusiness.)

Answer 4

We're all products of our culture, after all. I shave my legs and armpits, even when they won't be seen. I infinitely prefer the look (on myself. I don't care about other women's hair), because I've been thoroughly enculturated in the no body hair for women thing. Even knowing that I've been taught that by the media in order to get women to buy shaving products, I still do it. Sigh.

Also, feminism has changed over the years. It's not about being manly- that's kind of sexist in itself. For true feminism, why can't men dress as women? We're rejecting the notion that being a male is inherently better, so why should the proper feminist have to act and dress like a male? The idea is that the traits and habits assigned to the genders aren't biologically necessary to that gender. Women don't _have_ to wear skirts, for instance, lest our ovaries fall out or something. The new idea is that those traits and habits aren't necessarily good or bad just because they've been traditionally assigned to one gender or another. Wearing skirts isn't bad, if that's what you like, even if you're a woman and women are "supposed" to wear skirts. True equality will come when men can have the feminine traits and habits just as easily as women have masculine ones. That day's still aways off.

Answer 5

Being against gender roles doesn't mean you don't follow them.

I'm against them being forced-too many women [including myself] are told that we're only here for childbearing/taking care of the children, staying at home, cleaning cooking etc. We're told too often that if we're not 'beautiful' by societies standards, we're useless. Too many people feel forced to follow their gender roles, including men.

That is what I'm against, not the gender role itself.

And btw, I've never heard of anyone, male of female, giving up their bed to a guest. That's what guest rooms are for..

Answer 6

just because we disagree with FORCED gender roles doesnt mean that we cant follow some of them. its a matter of choice. I am aware that i follow some gender roles because i have been convinced over time that it is better. i have abandoned others because im not comfortable with them. and whether i do or not is no ones business but mine. and that is the point. no one is trying to eliminate gender roles, we are just trying to make the social backlash from choosing them to disappear. there is no reason why certain gender role expecations have to be seen as "masculine" or "feminine." They can just be things that you have the choice to do no matter who you are.

and for your information, your criteria of what defines male gender roles versus female is awfully superficial and shallow. For your information, no, i dont let anyone use my bed when staying at my house because a) i share that bed with my husband and b) i have a guest bed so theres no need. I have shaved my head before, and unless im going to the beach i dont shave my legs because i have very sensitive skin and shaving gives me a poison ivy style rash. I also do buy some clothes from the mens department because they are more comfortable.

kelly: we are told that every time we open a womans magazine, or see an advertisement. some men have said it openly, and not just on here. just because you refuse to see it or refuse to acknowledge it and the effect it has on every woman and man does not mean it doesnt exist. you can deny that gravity exists, but thats not going to make you fly off the face of the planet.

Answer 7

Wrong. I certainly consider myself a feminist. I'm against IMPOSED gender roles. I think people should be able to make their own choices and not be demonized for it if it doesn't "traditionally" fit society's gender role. If a woman wants to do something traditionally masculine (say, join the military, or work in construction, as just some examples) that should be ok. If she wants to be stay at home mom, or a nurse, or a kindergarten teacher, that's ok too. Same for men.

Answer 8

It is our preference not to do these things, and also our right, just as it is our right to equal treatment in the workplace and in the world. We are not men, we are women and enjoy expressing ourselves as we wish, which is also our right. These rights belong to everyone, men and women. If a man wishes to dress as a woman, it is his right as well. I really wish that people would see more clearly that this is a Humanist issue. Equal rights for all and the right to choose which role or roles one wishes to assume for their life.

Answer 9

They follow the ones that are beneficial (man pay for date) but demand equality when it is beneficial (pay me same money... even if I don't do as many hours... and go off sick more frequently... and even if i do take longer breaks...and who cares that I haven't worked here as long.... and what the hell, who needs a degree? etc.)

Answer 10

Because it does not matter much about " gender roles " when evolved human sexual history has such a large effect.