I'm going through a separation/divorce, living with mother in law, and kinda seeing someone am I a bad person?

Question

We have been married for 3 1/2 years, and right after we were married I found out I was pregnant. During the time I was pregnant my husband worked maybe a couple of months, and some of the time he was actually lieing about going to work. The whole time we have been married he has bounced around from job to job leaving us far in debt, without food many times in the house, and evicted from three different homes. After three years I would think something would change, he is not a cheater and loves me very much but I could not deal with the stress. We have been split up for the last month and a half and I am working on getting the divorce, meanwhile living with my mother in law. This is a very difficult situation, as I am seeing someone that I work with. I like this person very much and I often go see him overnight....my mother in law always makes comments about this situation and how wrong I am because I'm technically still married. I need advice and words of wisdom?

Answer 1

Well since your husband isnt going to change, your smart in doing the changing.
Your mother in law shouldnt really be saying anything about your personal/dating life, although she gets the right sort of because your living with her however,she could be less rude about making the issue any harder than it is by telling you your still married.
If you dont feel or see it as cheating and your totally over your husband,nothing is wrong.
good luck with your life.

Answer 2

I'm no Dr Phil but your husband can't take responsibilities, why because he was never taught how. Of course your in-law will make comments, she's not going to admit she is partially the cause. It would be better for you to live some else, then she would not see what is going on. Give your ex an ultimatum, either start taking his responsibilities or walk. If he says he loves you as much as he does then why doesn't he do what he has to do to keep you. Or maybe he would rather lose you than have to get up every day to support his family. I bet his Mom is bailing him out when he needs money.
As for the other man, why should you risk not being happy with someone else just in case the ex decides he wants you enough to do something about it. And yeah, your just technically still married, obviously no longer in love with him.Just remember, everything happens for a reason and follow your HEART.

Answer 3

You are NOT a bad person. I am getting a divorce after 3 years. For some of the same reasons that you are. Some a lot worse.
It Does not matter how much you love someone if you are miserable. If you can snatch happiness; do it. Your mother-in-law is reacting to the fact that you are leaving her child. She, of course, does not want you to. The biggest advice that I can give you is to move out of her home. If you can only afford a one bedroom for you and your child; get it. Sleep in the living room if you have to. But, get out of there compltely.

So, you're techinicaly still married..OH well. You filed for Divorce. You're steping away from a bad situation. You're not a bad person. You're doing what is the best for you. That's all anyone can do.

I'm rooting for ya hunny...

Answer 4

You may be a very nice person but you are making some bad decisions right now. You are still married and until you are divorced, you should not be seeing other men. I agree with your mother-in-law. Take one step at a time. Divorce comes first!

Answer 5

You are very vulnerable now and you want companionship of a man when you are still married. This will definitely cause hurt to you. Be patient. Evaluate your situation. Don't make mistakes. Let the divorce go through before you even attempt another relationship. Don't make 2 mistakes.

Answer 6

I don't think you're a bad person, maybe just lonely. The truth is rebound relationships rarely ever work so you're probably just going to be wasting your time on the person you're seeing now. It's better to get the divorce finalized, get your own affairs in order, and only then put yourself out on the dating scene again. I think you're moving too fast and you're only going to hurt yourself.

Answer 7

No, you're not a bad person. This happens most of the time. Try not to let others influence you to the point of taking their advice, unless it lines up with your heart. You do have to move on, and having a friend that helps out is not a bad thing. Just be discreet.

Answer 8

You need to listen to your mother-in-law. It is great that the two of you get along but she is right. You are on the rebound and should get things cleared up with the soon-to-be EX before you start something new. Getting laid every once in a while is one thing but don't impose too much on MIL because pretty soon you will have to move out on your own.

Answer 9

It is a little soon to be seeing someone else, not because I think what she says matters but because you are still married. My husband and I split up once and he moved out and we both got caught up in extra marital situations, but then we reconciled and had to deal with everything that happened. I would wait until the divorce is final and you are out of her house. Divorces are not fun and they are not easy and you do not want them to have anything to use against you. You need time to focus on yourself right now anyway, just concentrate on being a good parent and a good you, get on your feet and be settled before you start looking for companionship.

Answer 10

I really agree with Jennifer. I don't think you are a bad person, but I (in general) think that it is best not to get right into another relationship. You will need time to work on yourself and decide how you want to proceed with your life.

Good Luck, and I hope you find someone to love.