I've only had sex with two guys in the past thirty years; my ex-husband and my husband of one year.?

Question

Last year, I accidently found out my new husband had been "using "porn secretly quite a bit. We had been very active sexually, and I was very happy. I can't get over the feeling that there must be something wrong with me for this to be necessary. I guess I haven't had too much experience with other men to feel confident, because this has distroyed my self confidence as a woman. We did alot of fun stuff sexually, and I am attractive, I think. What is the solution?

Answer 1

It has nothing to do with you. Lots of men look at porn and masturbate to it. Lots of women do as well. He's not cheating on you, and if you are still being sexually active you can presume that there is nothing wrong with what is going on in the bedroom. Don't let this be a knock to your confidence!

Answer 2

It sounds as if the "porn" has been helping u out quite a bit! (lol), I wouldn't allow the porn to question my identity as to who I am as a woman, he maybe secretly watching the porn because he doesn't want u to feel the way you are feeling now, those women don't have what u have, your husband. This is really a guy thing, My guy watches porn sometimes and I am okay with it as long as it not an obsession, sometimes when we get ready to make love and he wants to put in a porn flick, I simply tell him,"baby, we don't need that too night, let's make our flick inside each other", and, it works. I don't profess to be a sex goddess, but, I do pride myself in having the confidence to please my mate. There is absolutely nothing wrong with u because your husband watches porn, I learned a lot of valuable tips by looking at it, then I would try it on my mate, its not the porn itself, its how an individual view it, I have a sex education tape and I solely bought it for the purpose of my mate to educate him on some intimate issues that is important to me, its not the kind where one woman is being treated like a female dog in heat and she's got 4 or 5 riding her at the same time, nor, where the man has to have 2 or 3 at the same time, its one with married couples are learning about their partners, and, what works to please each other in bed. I would not allow this to interfere with my sex-life especially when its a good one.

Answer 3

Guys take care of themselves ALOT; ask any guy ... he will tell ya. Dont think that it is you that isnt satisfying him just cuz he chooses to masturbate. Honestly, i think it is pretty normal.

I think it would b better, but mayb harder, to talk openly about what he would like you to do to 'help' him.

And dont worry about the porn; that is fantasy stuff used to get in the mood. Have u thought about watching it with him? You might realize that just cuz you havent been with a bunch a guys, doesnt mean that you dont know what u r doin in bed. And ya never kno ... dont knock it till you try it.

I would tell u that the solution lies in your openess in communcating to your hubby in the sex department. U have all the tools, use em, get him to tell you what he would like, tell him what u would like, learn a new way to use those tools of yours by using your OWN ideas and creativity ... sounds like you are already having fun sexually. No worries girl. Stay confident; nothin turns a guy on more than a confident woman (besides y dont u teach him a thing or 2 that those phonies in the porn flicks cant - u r the REAL DEAL.) U can do it!

Answer 4

hi, became it some time past?? in the journey that your guy is having flash backs, or so he says, it shows he's thinking of her so lots extra usually then you definately could think of. I cant have self belief he's even letting you recognize! if he needed you returned, he shouldnt keep reminding you of all the soreness you went via!! I cant even have self belief he'd be having flash backs?! the only way you will recover from this, if thats what you like, is for him to recover from it. i could have theory he'd be too busy attempting to make it as much as you, to be thinking approximately her. regrettably i think of your husband nonetheless has solid thoughts for this lady, distinctly if shes on the different facet of the international and he nonetheless thinks approximately her. Im sorry if it quite is rather upsetting for you, yet its the two that, or it appears that evidently like he's attempting to make excuses up for no longer getting intimate. it ought to be the case that he isnt an extremely sexual individual? and this could be an consumer-friendly way for him to get out of it? the wonderful element i could recommend for any relationship difficulty is to have an exceptionally solid communicate approximately each and every thing thats bothering you the two. despite if it ought to be issues that neither of you likes discussing, you rather need to place all the taking part in cards on the table. i individually wish you get it regarded after, you sound very prepared to maintain your marriage, and are extra forgiving then i ought to ever be! Goodluck x

Answer 5

You may be benefiting in a positive way from your husband's viewing pornography. Although it is often a lewd expression of sexuality, it does provide ideas that can be used by a man to please his own wife. It can also give him release if he is more highly sexed than his spouse.

I don't think it has anything to do with you, so much, as it does with his need to be more creative and less forceful in his demands on you. It doesn't sound as if you lack anything in the way of pleasing your husband except in the above ways. Maybe try to be more available to him and find your own ways to be creative with him.

Pornography can work two ways, including to benefit a timid woman to be more bold. I don't recommend making it a habit but you could try viewing porn just to see what he might be finding in it of interest to him and to you both as lovers.

Answer 6

Have you talked to him about it? Maybe there is a reason or maybe there is no reason. Maybe he just enjoys it. Either way, it could have nothing to do with you so don't take it personally. If you have a great sex life and he's not cheating on you, what's the big deal? Be glad he only wants to have sex with you and maybe the porn is just a turn on. Talk...that's the main thing...but don't "accuse". Just let you know you're aware and want to know if there's anything more he wants from you...he'll let you know if you're open with him.

Answer 7

Have you spoken with him about this, and shared your feelings..
Porn is so easy to access now....anytime or anywhere via the computer...and saying its normal....it all depends on who you talk too..
I have not known to many people who dont go from looking at one t hing, than going after more dirty or degrading...
Its disturbing...but its done...i would let him know your feelings.
If you found out by snooping, than be prepared for the backlash of that too...bottom line..there is nothing wrong with you at all...there are alllllllllllllllllllll kinds of porn....keep that in mind

Answer 8

dear friend..
i have read this so much..

you need to decide if u can live with it or not??
my man did the same thing.. he said he loved me and i think he did.. he even talked to his EX..
but once i found out..
I just couldn't go on with it.. i did for a couple of years.. but we ended up in a divorce

It has nothing to do with u...

he has the problem.. and u need not make it yours... too...

sex.. doesn't always have to do with experience??? it has to do with the individuals..

ur self confidence in ur self is all that matters.. don't let him do a head Trip on u..
he is wanting u to feel guilty and wants u to take the blame for his addictions..

don't do it.. stand up and set him straight..
good luck..

Answer 9

Don't take it seriously at all. A lot of men look at porn. It is not a reflection of you. The most popular search words for search engines are sex words.

Answer 10

Don't over react about this.. the next time he sits there looking at a adult movie just ask him do you want it live big boy or some old out dated movie.. bend over in front of the TV with some sexy panties on and give him a show.. there is nothing wrong with you.. don't be shy about it just take it like a wild woman. bend him over and slap him on his butt he might like it and say oh yeah!! he might be too shy of explaining him self to you.