My best friend met this guy and wants me to met him. She told me that he is no longer married (no big deal) and has kids (yet again no big deal). I aksed her how many kids he has (which he has living with him full time) and she told me 5. I do not have any kids of my own and i do love children, but i really do not want to date a man who has 5 kids right now. She got mad at me and said i was selfish and that it should not matter. Its really nothing against him and i am sure he is a good dad, i just am not ready for something like that. Do you think i am being selfish? thanks!
2007-09-15 16:08:34 · 18 answers · asked by carriec 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
the kids mom is out of the picture. she ended up running off with another man and left her babies behind (which i will never understand) and yes i know it would be just a date, but i would hate to met his kids, get close to them and than if things did not work out, they would suffer!
2007-09-15 16:20:44 · update #1
hey..sorry im late answerin..who cares if im a dude with a very burnt skin..went to the beach. anyways.. im a dad with two kids who's ex left me(back in kids life now)and i know how that feels . i didnt want to date a chick that had 3 and still talked of more.. i think it is the best thing to do like u said and not meet the kids..but just talk to him on the phone awhile first and if u get along then hav ur friend watch his kids so u and him can go out, and she can see what watchin 5 kids involves:) bye and good luck. let us know how all goes c ya:)
2007-09-15 16:40:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are being selfish at all. 5 children are a handful. I had a chance to date a man with 2 young kids, and I turned him down for the same reason. I had already raised mine and didn't want to start another family.
You need to do what's best for you. Its difficult for a full time dad to have a social life.
2007-09-15 23:21:57 · answer #2 · answered by Linda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you are being selfish, I think you are being smart. 5 kids full time is a big deal. You cannot date someone like him without the children being a factor. If you know this would be an issue for you (and it certainly would be for me... I also have no kids).... then you are sensible not to meet him. even if he is perfect in every other way, 5 kids is a huge thing.
Good luck to you!
2007-09-15 23:21:50 · answer #3 · answered by Running Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope you're def not being selfish, especially since 5 kids all of a sudden would be huge culture shock and no matter the age range would be difficult to manage for someone with not too much experience in dealing with children that are around 24/7/365.....
2007-09-15 23:19:21 · answer #4 · answered by mischiefangel104 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No your not being selfish, but keep in mind all your doing is going on a date...your not getting married and adopting the party 5 like tomorrow. At least give the guy a chance. You never know and never say never!
If you really are feeling like you dont want to do it then...let it go. Your friend will have to understand and if she is a real friend she will understand!
2007-09-15 23:15:39 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I guess we are both selfish than. I wouldn't want to date a man with that many children either. It sounds like a lot of responsibility and is the ex still in the picture. You didn't mention her at all.
2007-09-15 23:15:52 · answer #6 · answered by DeCaying_Roses 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That has nothing to do with being selfish. If you are not ready I see no reason why you should be pressured into this relationship. Have you ever noticed that every time someone accuses you of being selfish it's because you are not going along with their plans. Don't worry about it. Everybody is different so don't feel bad about this guy.
2007-09-15 23:14:37 · answer #7 · answered by LEMON the good life 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You aren't being selfish at all. In fact, you're helping this man by not dating him and then putting him through more heartache. Your friend needs to understand that, just because, your preferences are not the same, doesn't mean you're selfish. If she can't understand that, then she's not your friend.
2007-09-16 11:28:37 · answer #8 · answered by Ennui 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go if you're not into that many kids. I used to tell guys I had 5 kids when I didn't want to go out with them. It works better than saying you have an STD!
2007-09-15 23:31:24 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Pretty♥ ♥Kitty♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you arent selfish.
is your friend responsible for getting you dates or something?
it would be a different story had you met this guy on your own and liked him and then found out about all the kids he has...
2007-09-15 23:15:59 · answer #10 · answered by Cymbaline 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋