Are there any grammatical errors?

Question

My whole life I hated roller coasters and pretty much any ride with twists, turns, loops, and drops at high, fast speeds. I even hate the ladybug roller coaster in City Park. Having only been on it three times, it remains as the only roller coaster I have ever ridden, but over this past summer, my parents decided to take me, my little sister Brianne, and my cousin Michelle, who is my age, to Disney World for my graduation. On this trip, I decided to conquer a ride much scarier than a roller coaster: The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror in Disney’s MGM Studios.


Do I need a comma after life in the first sentence? Do I need to change the tenses of my verbs to past tense, such as in the second sentence the word 'hate' to 'hated.' Is the third sentence too confusing or should I split it into two sentences? Thanks!

I still hate roller coasters today.

Answer 1

You don't need a comma after life in the first sentence.

You should change the second instance of "hate" to "hated" so that the tenses are agreeable.
You should seperate the sentence into two sentences. I would suggest:

"Having only been on it three times, it remains as the only roller coaster I have ever ridden. However, over this past summer, my parents decided to take me, my little sister Brianne, and my cousin Michelle (who is my age), to Disney World for my graduation."

Frankly, I would remove the "who is my age" part, but I see that you are trying to show that you were not the only one there your age, so I left it in the example above.

Answer 2

"I have hated roller coasters and any ride with twists, turns, loops, and drops at high or fast speeds my entire life. I even hate the Ladybug roller coaster in our City Park. Having been on it three times, it remains the only roller coaster I have ever ridden. This past summer my parents decided to take me, my sister Brianne, and our cousin Michelle to Disney World for my graduation. On this trip, I decided to end my fear once and for all. I was going to conquer the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror at Disney's MGM Studios--a ride much scarier than any roller coaster."


(I think this is basically what you mean to say with a few less words)

Answer 3

yes change the hate in the 2nd sentence to hated .. I'd say take out "fast" in the first sentence.. maybe capitolize the name of the Ladybug Roller Coaster?..

Having only been on it three times, it remained the only roller coaster I had ever ridden until this past summer when my parents took me, my little sister Brianne, and my cousin Michelle to Disney World to celebrate my graduation.

Answer 4

I hated roller coasters my whole life, and pretty much... It is awkward to start this sentence with "My whole life"

In the third sentence, "Having" is a dangling participle.

You may keep the present tense in the second sentence because you set up the reason for present hatred by the past experiences in the first sentence.

I agree that the third sentence should be broken up. The best place seems to be after "ridden"..Start the next sentence with "However" to prevent starting a sentence with "But".

Answer 5

The 'hate' should be changed to hated, as it is in the past tense (eg.. you are referring that you, at some point have been on and thus dislike the coaster)

I'm not particularly sure if it's a problem, but the comma before the 'and' after 'loops' is off I believe, as a comma before an 'and' is in most cases not a necessity.

"pretty much any ride with twists, turns, loops and drops at high, fast speeds."

Answer 6

you can write it as "I hated roller coasters and pretty much any ride with twists, turns, loops, and drops at high speeds in my whole life ." dont need both high, fast speed. just choose any one you like. either high or fast. they mean the same.

if you still hate it today, use hate. if you hated before but like it now, use hated. but since you use "my whole life" in the paragraph, use hated.

if you use hated in the 1st sentence, you should use that in the 2nd sentence. and the 3rd sentence is too long. Comma Splice.