What do you think of the situation my son was put in?

Question

My son (11) made a new friend and went to his home for the first time tonight.His parents took them out for pizza and (we live in a community where illegal imigrants are a majority) and this boys dad said those damn mexicans will always be failures.Now my son whom is biracial (father is an american born chicano and I am white) and is clearly very dark complected was offended by this mans comment, he felt that this man had some nerve to say that in front of him. I agree that this mans comment was very wrong to say no matter who was present.But I do not know if this mans comment was intended to hurt my son personally, my son did not say anything to him, but when he got home he let me know that it hurt his feelings. I guess what I want to know is this situation something I should step in on to make sure that my son is not being mistreated while in the care of this man. Or should I let it blow by, maybe he did not think it would offend my son when he said it because he is not mexican.??

Answer 1

Let them spend time together in YOUR house, a HEALTHY enviroment! Your son does not belong in a racist enviroment, he's 11 and can't comprehend what's going on. How dare he say something like that in front of your boy, what an a$$!!!!

Answer 2

I think that this man is just ignorant. I doubt that he made the comment to deliberately hurt your son. But that fact is, it did.
As a parent, I would go back and let him know that your son was hurt by his comments and that you don't support that kind of talk. I would let him know for three reasons:

1. Your son's feelings. Most important!
2. Your son needs to see that there are times when you do need to step up to the plate. Set an example that he can learn from and be proud of.
3. Eliminate this situation from coming up again in the future. That way, if your son goes over there again, he will not have to deal with this on his own.

This man will probably be so embarrassed by his comment, that this will not be an issue again.

Answer 3

It's great that your son made a new friend, but ashame the father is so rude. I don't think the father meant to hurt your son, I think he was just being rude. If he truly didn't like your son, I think he wouldn't have invited him for pizza, right? Unless you think the father enjoys tormenting young children.

Even though the dad is a pig, I don't think it would be fair if you broke up the boy's friendship. Invite the other child out, and see how it goes from there. If you son is offended by the father again, then I don't think you should say anything to the father without talking to your son about it. Ask him what he wants you to do, it would be horrible if you embarrassed your son and you never know what's going to embarrass them...

Answer 4

Seems like a good opportunity to educate your son about this kind of thing... it won't be the last time that he experiences this type of comment.. Depending on your son, you may even let him decide whether he chooses to be around this man again. I think I would use it as an opportunity for growth for your son. Sometimes a BAD example will teach a child even more what they don't want to do.... than a good example showing them what they DO want to do.
Maybe even ask him if he ever said things in school... like kids do... to an over weight kid or a slow kid... Maybe he can think of an example where he said something that may have hurt someone..... You aren't going to change that man's ignorance, but you can teach your child.

Answer 5

I think that, whether or not the man's comment was directed toward your son or not, it was an ignorant comment that should not have been spoken at all, especially in front of a child. This, unfortunately, will not be the first time your son will come across racism in his life. I think this is a chance to empower your son, and you should allow him to choose how to handle this situation. He is 11, which I think is old enough to decide whether or not this hurtful comment should be pursued. Give him a voice. Reassure him that racism is real, but it doesn't mean that the theories and stereotypes behind racism are true.

Answer 6

I would let the other child's father know that you were offended and that your child will not be able to be around him if he continues with the racial slurs. I would normally say don't let your child be around this man, but it's hard for kids to make friends these days so if he is friends with the child then it is inevitable that he will be around the father. I had a boyfriend who's parents were extremely racist, but he was one of the nicest people I have ever had the good fortune to meet, his parents just had issues.
I would step in, and let the father know that what he said hurt your son and that your son was afraid to let the man know that it hurt his feelings. Most likely he said it out of ignorance, and hopefully he will learn a lesson and not say that sort of thing again!

Answer 7

If it were my son. I wouldn't want that guy around him. If your son is dark as you say. And it is obvious that he must be non "white". The man offended your son with no care towards his feelings at what he said. Though not directed intentionally at your son. At some time he would have noticed what he said and apologized to the child. Since he didn't it leads me to think in the future it will happen again. The same kind of comment and him not caring who gets offended. Your the child's mother. It is your duty as so to demand they respect him. He told you the problem. As a child I bet he feels and thinks you as a parent should do something or say something.

Answer 8

Well you're right. He, your son is not Mexican; so why be offended? P/C aside, there is a big difference between an illegal Mexican and the Chicano.

This man while being out spoken of his opinion has the right to voice it. Chances are unless your son has verbally motioned his ethnicity, the company he was in didn't know this.

Our silence to allow illegals into this country, along with political correctness will destroy this nation. One day someone will be in the company of your grandchildren and say, "These whites" or "These Christians are only in our way".

Prejudice has to be fought in the home before it can be fought in the school or government policies.

Answer 9

You should not let it blow by just because your son is not Mexican. Other people can be hurt just as much by tht rude comment. However, you are not sure if it was intended to hurt your son personally. I think you should leave the sitiuation alone for now. If the same man ever does this again, step up and talk to him about it :)

Answer 10

I think Lyndy C hit the nail on the head. I do believe that it is mainly your son's decision. He is 11. He is becoming a young man. Be open with your son and discuss it. Children deserve honesty, and I think he will surprise you with intelligent opinions. I have a 10 year old son myself that will be 11 next month and he actually surprises me from time to time. Just raise him to know right from wrong and that there are very very ignorant people in the world. He just needs to decide for himself if he wants to associate with such behavior. But, by no means punish his little friend. Another person who answered suggested letting that child come to your house. I absolutely agree.

I hope this helps.
Good luck

Answer 11

That was offensive and your son was hurt by it. It is obvious the man does not know your family ethnicity or maybe he is trying to find out. Either way the comment was not nice and your son was offended. You can talk to your son and let him know that there are evil people in this world who have hard hearts but for your son to NEVER be this way, God created everyone of us and we are all beautiful in His sight. The ignorant man let it slide, it is obvious he was raised this way and not let your son go out with these people again. They are not the good example of people you want your son to be around.