Okay, please hold back judgements and remember that I am in pain. For those of you who remember, last week the guy I was dating broke up with me because he felt like he had to give things one more try with his ex-wife (yes, ex they are divorced) for the sake of their two kids. She has always wanted him back and he has not. Although he feels very guilty because of the kids. I'm sorry. I still love him. I know I should be hoping they get back together, but I am human and still wish we were together. I so don't understand what has happened here. So, in your opinion how often do second chances actually work after they have already divorced???
2007-09-15 13:57:24 · 9 answers · asked by Sleepless in Seattle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, let me first start off by saying that I have always been one to believe that you should NEVER stay married just for the sake of the children. It's very unhealthy, and the kids end up seeing a mom and dad who aren't in a loving relationship. Although it's admirable that he wants to attempt reconciliation with his ex for his kids, chances are that it won't work due to the circumstances that made them split in the first place. They may try to work things out for a minute, and then come back to the realization that they divorced for a reason. I can tell you, however, that he may not be ready to commit completely to you either even if things don't work out with he and his ex. This is something that you need to prepare yourself for. Depending on certain circumstances, ie. how long they were married, how long they've been divorced, etc. It certainly wouldn't be fair to you just to sit and wait for him to figure things out. You deserve a chance to be happy. My advice to you would be to let him figure things out for himself, don't try to convince him to be with you. If it's you that he wants, then it's you he will choose. But don't wait forever. I am sure that you are a wonderful woman with alot to offer!!! There are plenty of single, COMPLETELY available (both emotionally and physically) men out there!! And when you least expect it, and you're not looking, they have a way of finding you. Good luck, and keep your chin up!!
2007-09-15 14:30:39 · answer #1 · answered by Paytons Mom 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He'll try and keep you on the side, and repair his relationship with his wife ('for the sake of the kids'). They all want the best of both worlds.
Get moving and find something to distract you from this situation. If you pine away and wait for him then he's got all the power in your relationship. Learn to make some sensible decisions that will have the best outcomes for you in the long run.
Second chances rarely work from what I've seen.
2007-09-15 14:30:55 · answer #2 · answered by Sunny 1st 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not an enviable situation you are in. If you truely love him, then you will want for him to be happy, right? You may have to take solice in the fact that he is with his children and thus HAPPY. I'm sorry that this isn't all that comforting, but there is an old saying, "if you love something, let it go, if it comes back it's your's. if it doesn't it never was" I feel for you and I wish you the best of luck!!!
2007-09-15 14:32:01 · answer #3 · answered by al b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that you feel guility, you should not. Its not your fault, you love someone. As for the second chance working, I gotta agree with the first person who responded, they rarely do and I know that "for the kids" never works!! It takes more than kids to make a relationship work.
2007-09-15 14:08:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Second chances work very rarely in any relationship. I'd say were talking 20%ish. He may make it work awhile "for the kids" but when they get older and he gets fed up again probably it'll go in the dumper.
2007-09-15 14:04:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be good to hear the guys version. The old saying..3 sides to every story..yours, mine and the truth.
He probably was just sowing his oats..and found out nothing beats having a wife and children..in other words..he is a family man at heart.
2007-09-16 23:10:54 · answer #6 · answered by ruthie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey your chances of getting him back would probably range from slim to none. If him and his ex are totally committed to making their marriage work not only for the kids but for themselves then he won't be back.
Just wish them well and move on with your life.
2007-09-15 14:05:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Rarely.
2007-09-15 22:34:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he went back because of guilt,
assume the vulture lurk, he'll be back.
2007-09-15 14:08:49 · answer #9 · answered by Irv S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋