In the past year I lost my two best friends. We've been friends for over tens years. There was just so much unessesary drama, that I really didnt feel like dealing with. Example: You hang out with her more blah blah blah. Stupid crap like that . The other one has a boyfriend who is really taking over her life. I dont want to get in the middle of it because it's not my place. My point is... I'm trying to get my career going , I just got married. Lately I dont mind it being just me. Do friendships really matter as you get older?
2007-09-15 12:52:50 · 8 answers · asked by ♥Kimchi♥ 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
I think you made a good choice with your old friends.
I agree with what you did and why. Our friendships in life can be important, but they should also be supportive in terms of where we are and where we are going in life.
If you're stable and starting a career, friends who are unmotivated, uneducated, using drugs or alcohol, etc. are a hindrance to the life that you are building for yourself. If you've made the decision to marry, friends who are good for you won't put you in a position where you always have to feel that you are choosing between them and your mate.
Compatibility is just as important in friends as it is in marriage.
2007-09-15 13:29:15 · answer #1 · answered by guru 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. I think that relationships matter even more because they become a lot more selective and a lot more genuine. As you age, the pettiness that ocurrs in younger years just puts you off as being frivolous, and people who do it are viewed negatively. Real friendships carry more weight and are more substantial, and friends are chosen more carefully. The motivations for having friends are different. They are no longer based on the select group who happens to be in your math class, or who you want to sit with at lunch, or who will improve your social worth. Friendship becomes about things like respect and shared values. Seeing something in another person that inspires you and makes you want to be a better person. Wanting transparent friendships where people are "real." This is what happens as you age. Unfortunately, if a betrayal happens, it is much more painful because you are a lot more invested.
2007-09-15 20:06:51 · answer #2 · answered by lizardmama 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think there are times in your life you will really wish you had a best friend. I also think best friends can endure some time apart during our busy times of our life,just remember to stay in touch. Yeah a boyfriend or husband can really cut back on the time you have with your friends but you should make time to spend with your friends even if it is not very often it is quality not quantity. I think you have spent so much time with your friends that you take their friendship for granted, you may not know what you have got until it is gone. My husband and I lost a best friend of ours a couple of years ago and this really hit home,we were so devastated we were crying all the time and it was a really bad time for us we had no idea how much we would miss him until he was gone. Also if your husband goes out with his friends wouldn't you want to spend some time with yours?
2007-09-15 20:11:47 · answer #3 · answered by jade_2011 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they matter they just change in dynamic
your friends and their opinions aren't the most important things in life anymore but you still need friends
maybe its time for you to get new friends. ones you can relate to better. maybe couple friends that you and your hubby like. Friends make the world more fun.
Yes they are an obligation sometimes but every good gift comes with some level of responsibility.
2007-09-15 23:07:55 · answer #4 · answered by AMe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course they do, especially when you consider healthy marriages are between two people who have lives of their own. Without outside friendships, partners become too reliant on each other and end up strangling their relationship.
Find some new friends; it doesn't have to result in "drama".
2007-09-15 20:03:19 · answer #5 · answered by holey moley 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Matter in what sense? Statistically, people tend to live longer when they have a close-knit group of friends...
2007-09-15 20:28:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes friendship really does matter, but when your going one way and your friends go another way that just happens, and you just have to make more friends that share your interest and your type of lifestyle now
2007-09-15 20:02:25 · answer #7 · answered by mommyof2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i lost my best Friend too because we just grew apart
2007-09-16 00:59:05 · answer #8 · answered by cheech 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋