If they are ordered to pay child support and the mother is taking care of the child like she is supposed to, then why are they so obsessed with knowing where the child support check is going? My best friend is in this situation. Her son's father doesn't want to see her doing well at all. She doesn't need the pennies that they are sending her anyway ($350 - $400 per month), but he is trying to get his payment reduced because he thinks she is using that money to get her hair and nails done. So what if she is? She spends way more than any $350 - $400 on that child. She works full-time, pays for daycare, food, clothes, shoes, medical expenses, etc. Not only that, he NEVER sees the father. He is 4 and and has seen his father 3 or 4 times. It all balances out so why does he care? Most of the men that are like this aren't hardly paying anything, so I don't understand it. Where he sees it as "extra" income for he, she sees it as his responsibility.
Why are so many men like this?
2007-09-15 12:02:31 · 18 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because he doesn't WANT the responsibility of supporting his child to begin with. He figures the mother gets custody she should also be saddled with supporting the child. All he wanted was to be able to unzip his pants, drop her drawers and phuck...
2007-09-15 17:06:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
The key word here is CHILD support. There is a seperate support legally reffered to as alimony that is for support of an ex-spouse that can be ordered by a court. If you have a child by all means you should support it whether the court orders it or not. A lot of men do use this isssue to make trouble for their exes, but the ones that don't deserve to know that the money they are sending is spent on the child and not put into a pool to maybe be spent on the child.
2007-09-15 21:23:25 · answer #2 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men wanted custody but the system almost always gives that to the mother. She has to be repeatedly in rehab or something to lose that bias. So the guy is ordered to pay what amounts not to 50% of the kids' expenses but 110%. Why should he be financing her getting dolled up to get banged on Saturday night....possibly the reason she is divorced in the first place.
Wanna hear a good story? This one guy got a divorce from his wife because she got knocked up by some other guy. The divorce wasn't filed until the halfbreed was born. That poor guy was ordered to support the kid. Now he is divorced. A series of men have been living in his house and he is paying for the chocolate milk one of them spilled into his ex.
2007-09-15 12:23:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Lots of women would be very appreciative to get $350 to $400 a month. The fact is the one paying child support does have legal right to know where the money is being spent.
2007-09-15 13:24:39 · answer #4 · answered by ~Raspberry Tea~ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The father is paying his percent of the total court ordered child support, of which he is made to account for every cent, where as the mother never has to account for her percent of the total court ordered child support. It's a screwed up system. In the end, the child has a better chance of achieving a lower level of stability, trust, love, education, and successefull relationships as an adult. We as parents want to throw our hands up in the air like we have no responsibilty in the matter and that it's someone elses fault. Parents who think money is the answer are serving the wrong master.
2007-09-15 12:18:50 · answer #5 · answered by The Central Scrutinizer 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
for me it was because ever time i went to her house my daughter had nothing she needed but mom had it all "spoiled " it got so bad the court gave me custody and now mom does not pay her child support only $ 56.00 guess we know what she spends her money on her self i only agree with men getting lower or no child support if they are involved fathers and because it encourages females to go out and get pregnant for the money till they get only 300 o month they hear all these stories of men paying 1,000 a month and think its the way to go the court should make father and mother be involved in the child life and stop trying to put a price on parent hood
2007-09-15 12:15:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because CHILD support is for the CHILD!!!!!! The child doesn't need his mother's hair and nails done. It does not benefit the child in any way. If he wanted to pay for his ex's benefits, he would have just stayed with her in the first place. You are under the mistaken impression that when a guy pays child support, that he is to pay for 100% of the support of the child. His portion is for 50%, not 100% She is supposed to be supplying the other 50%, not going on a shopping spree.
2007-09-15 12:14:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Ignorance.
I have seen situations where the custodial parent recieved child support and the children still were not taken care of, but that's not the situation in all cases.
Why would any man or woman want to see the parent of their child/ren struggle or possibly go without?
The child has basic needs that SHOULD be satisfied whether the payor agrees or not and as already stated, $350-$400 per month can easily equate to pennies when raising a growing child.
2007-09-15 12:13:55 · answer #8 · answered by Mahogany 1 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Men think that women spend the child support on everything else than child support. The problem with men is that the child needs a roof over their head and part of the child support actually goes to the child's portion of rent, food, electricity, clothing etc., etc.
Let's see $400.00 a month divided by 30 days = $13.30 per day for the child to have THREE meals a day, a roof over his head, electricty, clothing, transportation, daycare etc.
It is NONE of his business where this money goes because this is what he is ordered to pay and he is obligated to pay.
When a man complains about the money it is costing to pay child support then he isn't much of a man in my book!
2007-09-15 12:20:50 · answer #9 · answered by Patty G 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
I think b/c they think their ex is too lazy to get a job (when they may be working afterall) or are getting their hair, nails done and buying clothes for themselves other than spending it on the children.
I'm going through a separation and most likely a divorce right now. Not only does my spouse want ME to file even if it's what HE WANTS...he has said nothing about being there for our kids financially.
2007-09-15 12:17:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
it doesn't matter who sends the check to who, whether it's the mom paying child support to the dad or the dad to mom, it doesn't matter... that money is not there to benefit the parent, it's there to benefit the child. Hypothetically, if my ex-wife and I had a kid, and I had to send money for child support, your damn right I want to know what that money is going for, cause it's not for her skank a.ss it's so that the child gets what it needs, food, shoes, clothes, doctor visits, school expenses.
2007-09-15 12:49:15 · answer #11 · answered by burnttoast97 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋