When I came home from camp, I heard my parents were divorcing whenever my dad find's a appartment with a good rental rate. I don't want them to divorce so I have been trying to get them to get back together with my only friend who knows about it, kinda like in the Parent Trap. They don't listen and continue to think a divorce is better then trying to get along. I don't want them to divorce but slowly and surely the divorce is happening. I don't know what to do. People with parents having to divorce please give me some suggestions. I need them fast. My dad is loking up appartments on the internet and adding the web pages to favorites. He might purchase an appartment soon. HELP!
-Schmaier
2007-09-15 11:23:10 · 8 answers · asked by Schmaier 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Makes my heart drop to see the pressure you feel. I hate to say this, but there really is not alot you can probably do. If you talk to them separately, and tell them, even for your sake to give counseling a try, or more counseling if they've already had it. Otherwise, if their minds are made up, your struggle will be learning to accept it, which just sucks. Take care.
2007-09-15 11:29:06 · answer #1 · answered by waldguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to them separately and ask them to at least go in for family counseling first. You need counseling, too.
A professional counselor is a referee that would provide a level playing field for everyone to express what they need, then help get everyone on the same page.
This might be just the thing.
If the divorce continues, all you can do is try to support both of your parents and let them know you love them.
Chances are, they have been growing apart and heading towards this divorce, while staying together for your sake for a long time.
Start thinking along the lines of how you can spend quality time with each parent. Also think of the benefits... 2 Christmases, 2 birthdays, and the guilt can provide for additional shopping.
2007-09-15 18:41:14 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard situation, and I really sympathize with you. You seem smart and kind.
First, The Parent Trap is cute, but it's a movie. Life isn't always so simple. I would be up front with them. Go to each parent separately and say, "Dad, I love you, and I need you in my life. Have you considered the effect that moving out would have on me? Please don't make any rash decisions, and try to work out whatever problems you have with Mom first."
Then go to your mom and say something similar.
Have your parents tried getting any counseling? That might help them. Maybe you could talk to someone too: I'm sure you need to feel validated and important at this point.
I don't think little tricks are going to help much, and you don't have a twin to pull a switcheroo, but hopefully upfront and honest conversation will get you somewhere.
Good luck.
2007-09-15 18:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Waldguy is right, there is not much you can do. They won't have suddenly decided to divorce on a whim. This must have been building up for some time and they have kept it from you until it was decided. I think they should talk to you about it though and explain why. Pick your moment carefully when one or both of them are not busy doing something else and say you need to understand why this is happening.
2007-09-15 18:42:06 · answer #4 · answered by * Xanthippe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to accept that they don't want to be married anymore. It has nothing to do with you. What I mean by this is that they have adult problems that you should not get involved in. I know you love them and want them to stay together but they aren't going to. You can't change that. They still love you and are going to be there for you, just not together. It's better that they get divorced if they are no longer getting along and all they do is fight. You don't want to grow up in house like that. No one can be happy living like that. You will be okay in time. Talk to your parents and tell them you are hurting, don't keep it all inside.
2007-09-15 18:31:13 · answer #5 · answered by mamabear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While I commend you on your efforts. I think as a parent myself that is the most difficult part of a separation/divorce. Having your kids try to bring the parents close together. You can't, one or both of them came to this decision & in a marriage it takes both of them to make it work. I'm sorry that you are having to go throught this.
2007-09-15 18:31:49 · answer #6 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, as hard as it is for you to understand, this is NOT your doing. You should not be trying to trick your parents into staying together...this is between THEM and it literally has nothing to do with you. This happened to me and my ex husband, and we both explained to our sons that our divorcing had NOTHING to do with them...and they told us they were glad we were finally divorcing because all the turmoil and anger and fighting would finally be over...and they were right.
I'm so sorry this is happening in your life, but hon, I'd be willing to bet that your parents don't want you to think YOU have to carry the burden of THEIR mistakes...talk to them, ok? I'd be willing to BET that they will tell you the same thing.
Good luck to you and God keep you.
2007-09-15 18:34:33 · answer #7 · answered by bitadkins 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. This is a very difficult time for you. Just remember, they are divorcing each other and not you. They will always love you. Good luck..
2007-09-15 18:36:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋