Just out of curiosity, is your sexual preference choice or innate?

Question

Please understand, no harm menat by this question. I have met people who acutally have chosen to be gay, and I have met people that were born gay. I was wondering if people would be open enough to share their feelings and answer this question based on their own experiences.

Let me add this...I am primarily attracted to medium height, dark haired and brown eyed men, so why would I date a blond haired, blue eyed man? Is that innate, a choice, or my heart leading me based on the real person, and not what they look like on the outside?

Answer 1

It is innate...
Just try to remember when you chose to be what you are...

Answer 2

I have two points to this question:

1) When straight people have asked me "How did I know I was gay," I've retorted with "How did you know you were straight?" And anyone that has ever 'chosen' to be gay or straight has only chosen to suppress the homo or hetero sexual feelings that they have. They are unable to find a comfortable balance between the two, for whatever reason.

2) Why would I ever, in a million years, choose to not father a child? I've had baby fever lately, really, really bad! Until this started, I'd never recognized the biological urge of raising a family and how I am subject to that urge, regardless of my orientation. The simple fact is that, even if I do eventually father a child, my kid will not have a 'traditional' home and struggle will be guaranteed. Why would anyone, father or mother, choose that?!?!?!

Answer 3

One hundred percent innate. I suspect I'm slightly older than most correspondents, brought up in era when being gay - it was called queer in those days - was regarded as completely unnatural. At that time, why on earth would anybody have chosen to be gay?!? It's wonderful, nowadays, to see youngsters enjoying and being proud of their sexuality but it is definitely not by choice.

Answer 4

Innate... if we had the choice why do you think we'd choose to make it harder for ourselves? I think it's a choice whether to accept it or not.

If you know people who said that it's a choice then I think they are a very select few because I've met a hell of a lot of gay people and never found one that's chosen to be gay. Maybe the ones you mention are innately bisexual but then 'choose' to stick to one sex?

Answer 5

Despite people here claiming the opposite (with religious motivation), I strongly believe it is inborn in us. Whether is genetic or due to hormonal influences, scientists are quite sure people are born gay, straight or bisexual.
I clearly remembering having strong attractions to attractive girls my age, and liking to be around pretty girls in a way completely different than I would have ever found boys or men.
What I am saying is my body and my brain knew I was hetero from a very young age, despite the fact that I remained a virgin until I was 20. This idea that it comes from peer pressure is ridiculous. I had friends who were gay, but no amount of peer pressure could had ever made me look at a hairy man's as* and find love (I'm stealing that from Sam Kinnison). That may not be the case for some fundamentalist ministers, but I'm not sure - only they can be.
I'm sure gays feel the same way. In Boy George's autobiography (which is very good) he described very similar feelings at around the same age.

Answer 6

This question always baffles me. By calling it a PREFERENCE , dont we already imply options, and therefore, choice? I believe our experiences mold our choices and that everything but living and dying is a choice. Some choices are subconscious, but choices just the same. This seems apparent to me in the high numbers of homosexuals who have children. Apparently there is some attraction to the opposite sex, unless they were all raped. IT just happens that they PREFER the same sex, which brings us back to a choice.

Answer 7

I think you are showing how ignorant you are with this question. Whether you like someones hair color has nothing to do with what sex you prefer. One more thing, if you are stranded in a burning building, do you prefer the firefighter that saves you be straight, gay, male, or female?? If a gay male firefighter arrives first, would you prefer to wait for a straight one?

Answer 8

Innate, i knew from the time i was about 5 years old, that i liked other boys!! I had no choice, it was just who i was!

Answer 9

Innate. Anti-gay people like to say that it is a choice in order to assign blame and justify their bigotry. It's their way of attempting to make our lifestyle seem like the wrong "choice". Did you choose your sexual preference? Are you capable of changing it at will? I know that some heterosexuals do experiment with homosexuality for whatever reason, but I don't consider those people to be bi/gay. There is a difference between the sexual act itself and ones sexual orientation. For those of us that truly are bi/gay, it comes naturally, not a choice, experiment, or convenient alternative.

We do not choose to engage in homosexual relationships as an alternative to heterosexual ones. We do it because that is who we are physically attracted to. Personally, the only people I have known to go against their natural sexual preference are closeted gays. It's very strange to me when heterosexuals argue that it is a choice as if they have firsthand knowledge about it. That would only be possible if they themselves were closeted bi/gay people. And being closeted doesn't mean that they have changed their sexual preference, it means that they have chosen denial. And again, a straight person experimenting/engaging in homosexual acts, for a reason other than physical attraction, doesn't make them bi/gay. The same goes for closeted married gay people, they're not actually straight. They are just living that lifestyle for their own reasons. So you see lifestyle "choices" don't always reveal someones actual sexual orientation.

Answer 10

Innate - I have the ability to choose but females just turn me on and men don't. Well, that's a lie, occasionally I may find a man attractive but it isn't very often at all. I haven't chosen this.

Answer 11

I honestly think it was innate. I've been sexually attracted to women ever since I can remember (ever since I was 4-5 years old)...I certainly do not think I chose to be that way at that age (I didn't even know what sex was back then).