2007-09-15 10:37:29 · 20 answers · asked by Hot Coco Puff 7 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
for a life to have worth, you must have self worth.
it is not Dependant on friends or suitors.
those come when we think of our selfs as having worth/
if we don't like ourselves, why would anyone else like us?
2007-09-15 11:52:41 · answer #1 · answered by Hannah's Grandpa 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This one is a good question. I think its because mainstream society is sorta programmed to think that we should all be parts of big groups or teams, and that everyone should be married or at least part of a couple.
When I was 29, a single woman, I felt enormous pressure from others to get married. I live in a small town and got pressured from people in restaurants, grocery stores, my own store, and at church. The worst was from my cousins three year old son....when he found out I lived alone and didn't have a husband or kids, he asked,"So you're all alone in the world?" I cried all the way home. I didn't feel alone, I was happy, but the pressure from a society that thinks people should be in pairs or groups is overwhelming.
Today, celebrate your independence. You are a person who enjoys being alone, and there is nothing wrong with that! So many people are needy and have to have another to validate their sense of self worth....you obviously don't need that. And there is no need to have tons of friends. A few close friends are great, and more likely to be a part of your life for the long term than a group or team or bunch of acquanitences.
Do what you want, and be confident in it. I spent most of my first 30 years single, dating rarely, and spending most of my time with just a few friends and family. I was happy, had a full life, got to travel and see the world and move around without needing anyone elses approval, and I enjoyed it that way. I met my (now) husband in my late 20's, and we dated for 6 years before getting married. We are coming up on our 10th wedding anniversary, and we are both happy that we had our younger years on our own, and have a great marriage based on having our independent lives and our married life. We have the same friends we had as kids. Not a huge number, but we have gone through many things together, weddings, children, vacations, building projects, annual parties, and just holding each others hands as parents died. We were all considered the odd ones in school...the quiet ones, the ones who didn't join any teams or clubs. Life is what you make it. Embrace who you are and live your life, and don't worry about what other people think.
Just be you!
2007-09-15 11:02:30 · answer #2 · answered by 2 Happily Married Americans 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not all people think this. It is mostly an Extroverted notion that you MUST have many friends and make your life revolve around your social activities. Extroverts thrive off this sort of stuff, without it they don't get enough stimulation or energy.
Introverts, on the other hand, are much more content to live their lives in a more solitary manner, because too much socializing puts a drain on their energy. Introverts are more cerebral, they don't feel it's necessary to verbalise every thought they have. Extroverts feel that they cannot think (fully form thoughts) without verbalising. Introverts have an INCREDIBLY rich life... they are more in contact with their emotions, deeper thoughts, they are in tune with what is happening around them because they are quiet and observant, and not concerned with being loud and attention-getting.
I think insecure Extroverts is where this notion that you must have lots of friends to have a life that is of much worth comes from. It is silly and childish, and also a very strange notion at that, if you really think about it. I think it stems from insecurity, possibly about intelligence or even just low self-worth. It's a shame, and it's also an extremely shallow way of thinking of the world. It's fine to be Extroverted and to have lots of friends and a busy social life, but it's stupid, callous, childish and ugly to think that is the ONLY thing that defines a rich life.
No famous literary authors or great thinkers of the world were noted because of the amount of friends they had or their bustling social life. It's utter nonesense.
I don't have a huge social life, but I have a boyfriend who rocks, and I absolutely love my life. It is full of worth and meaning, I see it everyday in a myriad of ways.
2007-09-15 10:56:21 · answer #3 · answered by das_teufel_katze 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it stems back to nursery/primary school. When we are growing up, different things happen to us. Hence, the way we react to people that have done something to us, maybe not positively. We withdraw, and sometimes put barriers up for the non-positive thing not to happen again! If we cant overcome some of these experiences and let them take a hold of you, you start to believe your worthless, and this can start at a young age. You start to believe/think that everyone else can get on with life and that you're left way behind, chipping away at your confidence until you feel worthless, left of the shelf. Hope this answers some of your question.
2007-09-15 10:56:12 · answer #4 · answered by aromanticgesture 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think they are two different questions . We all need friends...we are hard wired for relationships & I believe will not function to our optimum level without them .
As far as dating is concerned , then I believe that is a matter of choice based on circumstances , ambitions , life goals etc .
Some people seem quite happy to have a circle of close friends & to give the mating game a miss.
2007-09-15 15:51:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't. Apart from my family I have just 2 friends who I see reasonably regularly, I have been divorced since 1980 and never bothered with another man since then. My life is full and I am very happy. People who believe this are too busy reading silly magazines and watching rubbish amateur psychologists on the telly spouting drivel!
2007-09-15 10:50:11 · answer #6 · answered by dozyllama 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People are social creatures. They have been conditioned to disregard themselves and can judge their worth only by the quantity of others they attract. "It's not what you know, but who you know." "There must be something wrong with him because he doesn't have any friends." However, most of our heroes are singular--look at the action movies. They're usually people who embody some trait we admire--strength, intelligence, savoir faire, ruthlessness, dedication to an ideal. Most of us don't feel strong or confident enough to stand alone, and when we don't have the support of a group, we feel alone, less competent, and definitely less confident.
2007-09-15 10:51:34 · answer #7 · answered by jelesais2000 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult question. I think because most people dont want to be seen as a loner. Also society puts alot of strain on us to be `normal` whatever that means.
I know that without friends I would feel very lonely and isolated.
2007-09-15 10:42:18 · answer #8 · answered by Ryan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have no friends its a very lonely life, you have know one to chat, cry or with laugh with you feel empty & sad. Envy of people around them who have the company they would like, people should cherrish the friends they have & not take them for granted, they are the lucky ones.
2007-09-15 10:53:08 · answer #9 · answered by Tigger is the best! 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because people are social beings. Generally, we need other people. If were stuck alone, we get depressed. Feeling depressed can lead to feeling worthless.
It's like a chain kinda.
2007-09-15 11:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋