My husband just filed for divorce on irreconcilable differences, I do not want the divorce, what to do next?

Question

I am a christian, and believe what the word says about divorce, we have only been married 4 mths, we argue, thats it not sin against each other, he refuses to be in a marriage where we argue. He started talking about divorce within the first month and I told him he did not mean it, every time we get into an argument he wants me to leave his home, I told myself if he told me that again I would leave, he did and I did. The next few days he's filing for the divorce.

Answer 1

You need to talk with your pastor. You both need to pick up the bible together and read were it speaks for the marriage is a bonding by God and he expects us to work things through thick and thin just as your vows state. God hate divorse and it is normal for married people to fight but you must work them out and forgive and forget. It's fun making up!

Pray to God first and you can do all things through him. God bless

Answer 2

Arguing, whether over important or trivial issues, denotes an inabiolity to resolve conflict without becoming emotional. No one should ever allow a disagreement to escalate as it always has a solution.

Given that, some men use the threat of divorce or leaving to gain control over a woman. Most are cowards and far too immature to ever be in a viable relationship. He obviously does not understand you are with him because you choose to be, not out of obligation, so he tries to subjugate you to him so you will never figure out what a dips--t he is and leave him.

Lastly, I do not recall any religion dictating that you suffer inflicted misery in a marriage. Marriage is to make each other's life better, not agonizing. That "for better or worse" means in tough times of poverty or famine or some other outside force, not because your husband is a moron. God never intended love and commitment and honouring each other to include a guy being a jackass.

Give him a divorce and yourself a chance at happiness and fulfillment. Always remember, a man should make your life BETTER. If he doesn't, you don't need him.

Answer 3

i know what you feel about being a saint for God. You do need to read that part about, if a man put away his wife, meaning giving her a divorce, then you are to do so. But he is to remain single and so are you. If he put you away because of fornication ( meaning in Hebrew- Immoral sex, with another person) it is to be done and you can marry again. There is nothing else you can do. You have already asked him not to divorce you. You have to also keep in mind. The word of God says... WHAT GOD HAS PUT TOGETHER, LET NO MAN DRAW ASSUNDER!! Every one that is married has not been put together by God. We chose to marry for our own selfish reason and then when we find out that we have married a Mess, we want God's word to intervene. I know that you are hurt, but if you wanted the marriage to work, after not being the first time he told you to get out, why did you leave? It is a hard pill to swallow when the person that have vowed to love you, tells you to leave with no care of your well being. If he started saying he wanted a divorce after a month of marriage, then why keep holding on? I would see what my lawyer say. You can always contest the divorce. You might find that there somebody else that he has been seeing and now that would be adultery on his part. Even if you contest the divorce, he's still entitled to a divorce if he want it.

Answer 4

Find youself a real, professional marriage counselor... not just some preacher. Yes, he needs to grow up. Somewhere along the line he got the idea that everything was just peaches and cream and you were going to be in lockstep with him no matter what silly stunts he pulls.
People do argue in marriages.
People do have disagreements.
People do work through these things and come up with common ground and compromise.

If he does file for divorce, you can contest the divorce. But do you really want to be yoked together with this idiot? I'd say it beats staying in an unhappy marriage for many years AND eventually dragging children through your misery!

Answer 5

I strongly recommend you set an appointment with your pastor for the both of you. I hope he is willing also. Is he a believer? Read the scripture about the unbeliever being sanctified by the wife.

He's childish if he refuses to be in a mrriage where you argue...it's part of it! He's trying to manipulate you when you said he talked about divorce in the first month and tells you to leave his oops I mean your house, too. (It's your house, too) He's saying those things to get his way and to make you shut up. Girl, been there.

How long have u known each other before getting married? Is he much older than you?

Answer 6

After four months he's ready to throw in the towel? Have you thought of marriage counselling? how well did you two know each other? and someone else's point of having arguments in a marriage was also good. but there is a fine line between just arguing and being at each other's throats 24/7. if you've tried counselling, and things are just going downhill, i'd just let him go. no Bad marriage is worth your mental health.
AFTERTHOUGHT: after i typed all that, i got to thinking.. he has already filed for divorce. You have to decide, is he worth fighting for? and by his actions, it might be too late for that anyway. Hold your head high, and take your licks and go.

Answer 7

What were you arguing ? I think your problem is deeper than the act of having arguments, and the act of moving out. I also hope that your reason for not wanting to divorce is not because you are Christian. I hope your reasons for not divorcing are because you love each other, you care for each other, and you want to work on building a family together.

Answer 8

If your husband has gone so far as to file for divorce, there is really no stopping it with no fault divorce laws. He may also have decided after the fact, marriage wasn't for him and is looking for an excuse. It would be best to let him go and the marriage, regardless of religious convictions. Obviously, that is not a concern of his.

Answer 9

He sounds like a control freak...
The best thing he can do for you is LET YOU LEAVE....
Trust me, you'll want to send him a thank you note when this is over....

Noone gets along 100% of the time and if he was threatening you with divorce within the FIRST MONTH of your marriage tells me that he didn't want to be married in the first place...

Let him divorce you...sounds like you'll be the winner in the situation because he sounds like a LOSER!

Answer 10

if you are such a christian why are you an argumentative, hard to get along with pain in the neck?

how about losing the christian stuff and just dealing with regular reality. listen to him, he says he does not want to argue. what are you fighting about? stop it.

i dont know if this is salvageable or not. there is a book by dr laura called ' the care and feeding of husbands' you can get it quickly today and read it. it has helped people, but, you have to want to be better. you seem rather unpleasant to me.

you seem to be holding up a sign that says 'i am a christian so what i say goes' and that is so so so boring. !!!! there are two sides here, and you dont seem to realize that.

Answer 11

Sounds like you two didn't really get to know each other very well before you got married. If this is how he feels then you should go ahead & let him go. Cause there will be a many of arguements within your marriage. Are if you feel that maybe he's just scarded then get some cousling for the two of you.