Can she throw him out??

Question

I live in Scotland and my mate is at the end of her tether with her wee boy- 21 year old layabout! He has not worked in the past year and continually puts pressure on her to feed, clothe and taxi him around. He paid her one month's rent almost a year ago and since, has had his mates make sure he enjoys nights out and mobile phone comforts. My mate is working all week to pay back rent arrears that were incurred when he decided to become a sponger.Does she have a legal leg to stand on if she throws him out?? Does she need police back up??She loves him dearly, but he is dragging her down and she is getting utterly desperate.Where does she stand legally if she packs his bags and tells him to go? He can throw the biggest, scariest wobbly when she tries to reason with him about the lack of contributions towards his upkeep. I'm concerned that he may try to give her a thump!! Can anybody help? Cheers.

Cheers Say, I get where you are com ing from. She's definately had enough. Time for some tough love!! I am hoping that if I let her see the answers that I have, she will take the right step!! Thanks.

Answer 1

I `m afraid this may be in a no win situation unless respect is earned from the son to the parent. (A) You love your own child, this is going to be difficult to have the courage to throw him out.(B) He may be too violent and you are intimidated by him, He knows this and will play on it, this will require enforcement from powers to be.(C) If the person in question has the strenght to have him removed, any descent parent will be continuously worried where and what he is upto and how he is surviving out there.
We had trouble once and we threw our own son out, he had to sleep in the car for a while, he tried to get council flat etc but to no avail. Although he was a nightmare we worried all the time. You are able and in your right to throw anyone out of your home providing no payment has been made by the other party to mortgage/ legal rent payments. On a personal matter it may a good thing to try to have him removed and let him see what it is like on his own. He may realise how good he has it and start showing respect. Our household is fine now but it took determination and courage. Stay strong

Answer 2

Since he`s 21 , she can throw him out just like she could any other person (except her husband if she has one) . There`s no obligation on her part to support him in ANY way !

If he gives her a "thump" , it may be the best thing he`s done for her , as it`ll prove to her he`s a completely worthless assshole , and reduce or eliminate the chance of her ever allowing him back in .

She should also have the locks changed immediately , even if he`s still there . Just don`t give him the new key !

Answer 3

Yes she should! I do not know at what age in Scotland that a person is considered an adult but he is old enough to stand on his own two feet! Your mate sounds like she might be an enabler and/or be scared of her son. He knows which buttons to push to get his own way with her. She should give him a time limit to find a job and a his own place and after that time he is out the door job & appartment or not! If she does have to kick him out you and some of your friends should be there too. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Yes, of course she can throw him out. Its her house. If she thinks there is going to be a problem, she needs to get some mates round the day she does it. After he is out the door, she should change the locks and thats it. If she gets any hassle from him, the the police must get involved. Once he realises she means business, he might just get off his lazy backside and make something of himself. She should have done this 3 years ago! But its easy to judge! Best of luck to her. Its a horrible thing to have to do to your own child but its better for them both to be independent.

Answer 5

You'd have to check the local laws. In the USA, they vary from state to state and county to county. Where I live, the landlord or person who owns the home, has to go to the courthouse to get an official document of eviction even if the person living there hasn't signed a renter's lease. The best thing to do is check the local laws.

Answer 6

My mum went through this with my younger brother.
Even at the age of 29 he periodically came back home to live with them, never paid a penny, ate them out of house and home.
My mum is 63 and it was killing her!
Her and dad finally took a stand and threw him out, it was the hardest and most painful thing they've done but it had to be done.
3yrs later he's married with a baby and settled.
Sometimes they need a kick up the @rse.
Legally? Not sure but I'm guessing if it's her house she can do as she pleases.

Answer 7

He's 21???????? Of course she can kick him out - he's a big boy now. He sounds like a lazy article too. Maybe this is what he needs, to realise that we all have to work if we want things. He'll have no incentive to get up off his backside if his mum is doing everything for him. Tell her to kick him out tomorrow and send all his belongings clattering down the stairs after him.

Answer 8

Your friend has every right to throw her son out and has every legal leg int he book to stand on.
Tell to to just pack his things and get out. he might throw the "yeah...see if i care" act, trust me I did it myself as a teenager, but when you are sleeping rough or on a mates sofa who has a grotty cat with a cat who p*sses in the house, it wont take him long to realise he has it MADE for him at home. tell him to get his bloody **** in gear and fast, or he will have the two of you to answer to!
My partners daughter is the same age as me (21), he is 49 (no he's not a millionaire..i just genuinly love him) and he spoils her rotten. "Daddy, max out my credit card, daddy, i want a brand new car, daddy, can i have a contract phone, daddy, can I have £50 a week spending money, daddy, buy me a house, and the latest is, daddy, i'm pregnant! the only credit i will give her is that she is she does work. he's soft as sh*t with her, i wouldnt be. But tell your friend NOT to be, its wrong and doesnt do them any favours int he long run.

Answer 9

Of course she can... but wait a moment... sounds like its you that is doing all the asking... is your mate on the same wave length.or is it your wishful thinking hoping you mate will throw him out?
You know family dynamics are funny.... mothers nag and nag but are very wishy washy when it comes to making a strong decision like this...do you know what I mean? After all... she loves him and I understand all the emotions attached to it. I am a mom.
I know you care about her and want to make everything right for her, but this is definitely up to her to do. She needs to see how important it is for her son to find worth in himself through his own achievements and accomplishments. Sometimes when someone is unemployed a long time they develop low self esteem and find it difficult in obtaining employment because of their frame of mind.. Maybe he needs support and resources to help him .
Until your mate is ready to take this big step... then you need to accept the situation and just give her encouragement, support and information. She may want to contact a women's centre for support... but she needs to do this herself.
Good luck

Answer 10

she should tell him to bugger off!
As long as it's your pals house, then he's got no rights whatsoever!
she can always phone the police if he won't leave! and if he touches her then thats him done with assualt!
since he's got loads of mates, he'll have plenty of places he can stay, if not he can go to his local housing authority's homeless office where there obligated to find him accommodation! the little sh*t should be lucky he lives in Scotland, we've got the best homeless laws in the whole of the U.K!
If that was my bairn I would have brained the wee sh*t years ago, tell your friend she has got to think about herself first!