Fighting with Wife, divorce discussed, found out she has her own bank account?

Question

My wife and I have been unhappy for a while now. We have really been fighting hard for the past few months. The past 2 weeks have been really bad. We work some things out, but not all. Still a lot on the table. We dicussed divorce, but never wanted that to be an option, but it is on the table. We decided to take a break for a week because we couldnt help but to bring things up everytime we see each other. So I went to a hotel for a week. I am back home now and found out she opened her own bank account without me knowing. What should I think?

Answer 1

I'm very sorry that you are going through this.
It sounds like you are not happy at all in this marriage... how can you be happy with constant fighting?
It sounds like she is preparing for divorce; I don't want to come out and say "go ahead with the divorce" because maybe with counseling you two could work it out, but it seems like that is what it's leading up to. My husband and I have always had separate bank accounts, it's *safer* that way with us so that we're not spending the same money twice, but in your case since she just started a separate account, it sounds like she's trying to get ready for something more.

Answer 2

When they open that separate Bank account you better watch out but then again she may be becoming independent. I know when I was married we had a joint account he drawed all the money out when we took a little separation , my checks started bouncing after I put my payroll in the bank. I went behind his back opened my own bank account , then his checks started bouncing. The moral of this story is in my opinion keep it separate. I found out my hard earned CPA money was keeping his mistress up and we divorced and I would never, ever have a joint account with any man, never ever.
TO RISKY a person can change over night , you think you have a perfect marriage , I don't think there is such a thing as a perfect marriage. Unless he looks like Mister Peppers and you look like Raggedy Ann then never be surprised when everything blows up in your face and you can't believe it , well believe it happens everyday.

Answer 3

You should think she is protecting herself. She is a smart woman making sure she is establishing herself by having her own account. She is showing that she is credit worthy and more than likely making sure she has a good credit score.
If you think she is hiding it from you she legally can't, even if you don't get divorced, because you file taxes as married. If you do go the divorce route she can't hide it because she would have to show it on her case information statement, which lists all expenses, debt, and assets.
Honestly if you are both very unhappy and can't get help through marriage counseling don't you think you both deserve happiness? The grass is not always greener on the other side, but sometimes you have to look anyway because there is no other way.
Best of luck.

Answer 4

I should think that she is getting more serious about leaving. If you guys don't get your you-know-what together and fast, she'll leave with her own money intact.

If she's not thinking divorce, I think it's great that she can manage her own money and contribute to the current bills with her own account and not have to worry that you've already written a check somewhere or debited the account in some way. It's an awesome tool, especially if finances are the source of your arguments.

Answer 5

ok now you guys are not getting along, there are bad feeling between you. so both of you decided a separation was called for. Now think on this if there be a permnate separation her security is threaten she will have to make it on her own, and that takes money. especially if there is children involved. Is trust an issue in the bad blood between you two? Well I do hope you guys can work it out, but money issues have a high rate in couples separating.

Answer 6

I would think that she believes you when you talk about divorce. She's taking your fighting seriously.

Before you totally give, at least try counseling. You got married because you loved one another. There must be a primary cause for the fighting. Perhaps a counselor could bridge the gap and see if there's a way to make the marriage work.

Answer 7

You should think that in the vent of a divorce she is storing away money. This does not necessarily mean she is planning one, but want s to be financially secure if the two of you don't work out.

For the record, ALL marital assets are split in the case of a divorce. So if you know about it, it is half yours.

Kudos for going to a motel for a week, I wish mine would........

Answer 8

That she's preparing to start her life over again if she needs to. She'll probably start depositing some cash in there to create a nest egg for the "just in case" so she's not left without money...that's all. But even if you work things out...she in all likely hood, won't close the account...it'll be there for the next time if that ever where to happen.

Answer 9

Never under estimate your adversary!!!

Miss steel head boots is protecting herself and preparing for possibly the inevitable.

You need to pay extremely close attention to the credit cards and also protect your current cash and assets. As you know, what is accumulated during a marriage is a 50/ 50 split.

Good Luck!!

Answer 10

thats fine when poeple especially women find out they are headed to divorce they justw ant to be prepared does she have her own job ,if yes then that shouldnt matter it only mattters when u are the breadwiiner than u may think that she is stealing from u . its also goo dthat u keep r on bank account to bc just in case she take all the money out of the bank