how do i get my ex hubby to see our son?

Question

no he does not pay the whole $82.00 dollars a month he has remarried to a girl who has 4 kids of her own and his reason for not seeing his son his (i dont have time or i'm to busy with the other kids) my son cry's for his dad.i try to tell him daddy loves you but thqat is not good enough. he will tell him i'm going to pick you up on sunday and don't and i have to come up with something to tell my son cuz i dont want him to hate his dad but i think it is to late for that. my son try's to call him and no answer. it sad it me me hurt for him and i rty so hard to stay strong him but it is getting were i cant do this anymore.

Answer 1

Unfortunately for your son, you can lead a jackass to water but you cant make him wash his stinky ***. Some men are not worthy of children but God doesn't make their sperm count equal to their IQ. Just try to never let your son think it is his fault. Children will take responsibility to avoid putting it on someone they love and value. When he asks about his father and asks why he doesn't love him, tell him what i told my daughter about hers, "He does love you, honey, only he doesn't really know how to show it yet, maybe someday he will." I told her this from about 5 years old, she is now 21 and able to see that the blame is his and not hers. I think that as they age they become able to see and more able to deal with it in stages as THEY are ready. I'm sorry for you and your son that your ex chooses to behave this way. Just keep telling yourself also "Maybe one day" because people can change, it just takes some longer to wake up than others.

Answer 2

i cant get a handle on how old your son is. 4? 6? 10? involve him in local sports and activities and have any and all family members participate. your dad, mom, ect. fill this void. does it take extra effort, yes it does. your job is to raise a solid, good, fine young man. to help you do this, go to the library and read and read and read all the books you can on child development. you will be reassured and empowered by this knowledge. you wont !!!!!!!!!!!!! feel helpless, i promise. i have a 24 year old son and have read dozens of these books. you cant know too much.

also, many many men are not too interested in being with little boys, but become best friends with them when they get to be between 12 and 14. as they become young men a man often has literally more in common with his son. and if there is an activity he can come to, such as a baseball game, he may just do that. your worry may be premature. there will undoubtedly be closer times ahead for them.

also, and i have no idea if this is done or not, cause i dont have any ex's, but, could you call the new wife and suggest your son come over for what is called a 'play date'?? could you go extend an olive branch to her and feel her out and see if she is agreeable to including your son in things.?

your own calm, nice attitude can go a long way in thawing the road to your ex's house,

i think you are brave and a good mom. you will never regret taking the high road, when kids are young, they are whiny anyway, i assure you, if they are busy enuf, they are too busy to whine, that is where you have to make effort, and you will make new friends too. boy scouts is one of the very very best programs ever ever made for boys.

you are a winner in my book. i know things will be better. peace be with you.

Answer 3

You can't make him, it's a decision he has to make on his own. But you can be the best mom you can be. Always remember to only say positive things about the ex in front of your son. If ex hubby decides not to come around or to be a deadbeat dad, then your son will come to realize that, and that he doesn't need his father because he has you. Stay strong, momma, and good luck!

Answer 4

I don'[t think there is going to be a right way to try to do this. I frankly can't understand men fathering children and then walking out of their lives. I've heard all my life, any man can make a child but it takes someone special to be a real "Father". Maybe if you try talking to your X and telling him how much his son needs him in his life, it will make him see the importance of it. Alot of men don't understand that if they aren't there in the beginning of their childrens lives, chances are the child won't want them later on. , and they then sit around and wonder why?? If the X don't want any part of his son, there is nothing you can do but go on without him there. I'm sure you will meet someone that will be a great father to your son. But you can't make his Dad be there if he don't want to be.

Answer 5

Don't. If he does not care to see his son, then he does not make a good father. Take all the Child support you can and find a real father figure somewhere else.

Answer 6

Unfortunatly there is no law that requires a father to see their children. Being a divorcee, I see my children as much as humanly possible, thanks in part to my ex-wife who is great. I know it is hard to see your son's hurt, but just give them as much love and affection as you can. Let them decide how they feel about their father in time. At the end of the day, they will remember that it was YOU who was there for them and they will thank you for it. Things will be rough for awhile but as always, things get better. As far as your ex-husband, encourage him as much as possible to remember that these boys are his son's too and need love and attention as much as his step children. It is ultimately up to him as to what he will do with the opportunity to be a father to his son's. You are a strong person to raise these boys on your own and deserve no end of applause for doing so. Just remember to love them and they will be ok.

Answer 7

YOU don't!! He has to make that choice!

I am in the same boat, my ex has little to no contact with mine, by mail, email or phone and hasn't had much interest in MY SON since we got the dang divorce!!

You can't force someone to be someone they are not or force them to do the things you want them to do because they are DADS and responsibilities, that you know are right!!

Forgot to mention, SS stated to always be positive at your son...I beg to differ, but agree in a way...
I have never said anything down right bad about my ex to my son, except that "I don't care for him and the things he does to you, and I have had my own problems with your Father, but YOU are HIS son too, and I will never tell you to not contact him nor will I be mad if YOU choose to talk to him."

It's ok to be honest with the child that you have had problems, but be sure they know that THEY HAVE THE RIGHT to see, speak or write to the Father and be sure you let them know you won't be mad at them for that choice

Answer 8

you cannot make him see a child he does not want to see.if he really doesn't want to see the kid then he is better off anyway.just have other positive male role models around like uncles,cousins or grandpas who really care about him and want to teach him things a young man needs to know from other men.if that is not possible then your son needs to be involved with sports or scouts or fishing or hunting or big brothers and big sisters.he doesn't need the drama of a childish uncaring father so move past it and good luck to both of you!

Answer 9

Don't force him. You don't have to make up for him not being there. If he wanted to, he would. I would go to court for full custody since it seem's that he doesn't give a care about your son.

Your son will learn that in time.

Answer 10

Honey...YOu cant Make him do something he doesnt want to do.Does he pay child support? Is he an abuser?I Wouldnt force my ex to see Mine...because he wouldnt appreciate it.