We're going to start marriage counseling sessions in a few months, but what sort of things should we discuss now? We really want to make sure we're focusing on our marriage not just a wedding.
Thanks!
2007-09-15 07:42:15 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Start talking about finances. Who will be in charge. Where the money will go? How will you determine what to spend it on? Who gets the final word?
Talk about family. How many children do you both want? What would you do in case of a child born with a defect? If you can't conceive, would adoption be an option? Would there ever be a case where either of you would agree on an abortion? How soon do you want to start having children? How often and when will you go to see relatives for holidays?
Talk about religion. What church will you attend? Will you attend separately or together? Where will your children go to church? When will they be baptized? How often will you commit to attending worship services?
Talk about household roles. Who will do the housework? Who will do the outdoor work? Who will rear the children? What is your discipline style? (spanking, yelling, etc.) Will you have alone time to go with your friends without your spouse?
Are either of you controlling in any way? Verbally or physically abusive in any way?
2007-09-19 09:02:22 · answer #1 · answered by Amy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!! It's good that you are focusing on your marriage too. To many people focus on the wedding and then it's over and think now what? How about you discluss goals, finances, children, jobs, vacation, houses, cars, families, and whatever comes to mind? It's important to have the same goals, or some of the same. You both are united as one and the future will be bright with goals, and plans. Counceling is an excellent thing to do before marriage. Good luck!!
2007-09-15 15:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by kiwibear0809 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Along with the basic marriage counseling, my fiance and I will be taking a 12-week course on finances by Dave Ramsey. It is taught at a local church & includes a workbook & a set of dvd's. Finances are a huge part of marriage, so being able to handle them in a smart way will really help you avoid major conflicts pertaining to money. My cousin & her husband are currently in the class & they say they have learned so much. Here's the website for more info:
http://www.daveramsey.com/
2007-09-15 15:32:13 · answer #3 · answered by sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there! I think you are off to a good start. My husband and I are celebrating our 5 year this year. One thing that was really apparent to me is that , like you said, people plan a perfect wedding and then aren't ready for the marriage part. There is this feeling out there that newly weds are in " wedding bliss" the first year and I think this is a huge misconception! You should prepare yourself for the fact that the first year will be hard as you learn how to blend every aspect of your life. We didn't live together first, but even couples who do live together experience this. My advice would be just to expect that there will be hard times right along with the great times. Stick with it and know that it will get better. I think lots of people get discouraged when they see that marriage is not a cake walk and just give up. Stick with it!
Best of luck to you! I think you are off to a great start!
Missy
2007-09-15 15:30:23 · answer #4 · answered by Pedsgurl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the counseling is an excellent idea because right now it's easy to think in terms of how much you two have in common and completely gloss over how distinctly different you both are. This will give you an enormous advantage over other couples who have this revelation blindside them at a critical moment. For an added advantage, learn skills for effective disagreement and conflicts resolution in non-threatening manners. Good luck and congratulations on your pending nuptials.
2007-09-15 14:52:27 · answer #5 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
-You need to discuss what goals you want to accomplish in life and make absolutely sure they are compatible.
-You need to make sure you're both on the same "religious" page. Huge potential future issues if you aren't.
-You need to make sure and align on the fact that divorce is NOT an option.
-MARRIAGE IS HARD WORK. Understand, and be ready for that.
...just to name a few. Hopefully, marriage counseling will cover the rest.
2007-09-15 14:50:03 · answer #6 · answered by julesl68 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some issues that you can discuss with him:
Finances and how money will be spent,
Children and how they will be raised,
Your personality styles, is one of you more outgoing and one more of a homebody,
In-laws and what their role will be in the marriage and your lives,
etc....
2007-09-15 14:48:55 · answer #7 · answered by HeavenlyBliss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost put God first. Pray and ask God to keep your marriage holy. Not only now, but everyday of your marriage. Your husband too. If you sincerely want your marriage to last.......allow God to be in your marriage. Without him it will not last. Congratulations and heres to the future.
2007-09-15 14:52:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Write 10 things you love about that person
10 things you don't like
10 things your willing to change about yourself
10 things you want to look forward to
10 things you want to acomplish
10 things you are willing to accept
If you love him, after comparing answers then you will be okay :)
2007-09-15 14:47:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should live together and have lots of sex!!! :D
2007-09-15 14:46:53 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋