Should I stay or should I go?

Question

Got w/a girl almost 4yrs ago. Had lots of fun, and hard times. She's upbeat, very affectionet, loved haning out like one of the guys, loved being with me, began to learn to be a mom after the kid was already 6yrs, knew how to take advantage of situations. I fell in love, and found myself swallowing things I know I didn't like in a girl. She always had my back, and I had hers, it kept our bond strong. It seemed like everytime there was peace, she, her family, or something from her past would disturb it. Strong attitude, this was good for some things, bad for others, irresponsible with money, lied to get things her way. Married the girl a few months ago, found out she hung out w/a guy from work while I was at work, she swore nothing happened but couldn't get it out of my heart, time passed. Found she had been talking to an ex 4 almost a yr, tried to lie about that too. Finally got her to admit that slept w/the guy from work she hung out with. Found out recently she's having my baby.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry that all of this happening to you. It's hard when someone else gets to dictate parts of your life when they are not what yyou thought that they were. She's some kinda girl. Doesn't appreciate a good thing when she's got it, other girls would kill to be able to be somone like you.

I guess if I was in your shoes, I would hang around, platonically, because you have no idea what else she's been up to. Then, I would get that baby tested. I wouldn't doubt it if it wasn't even yours, if that's the kind of things that she does behind your back.

Get some professional advice on how to deal with this situation, because there are kids involved. Kids are sensitive to things like this and they are the most important thing in the world. Make sure that whatever you decide is the best one for them.

There is no reason to over react. She did something stupid and you will probably not stay togetherbecause of it, but there is no reason to blow this completely out of proprtion. She mad her bes, let her lie in it. There are consequences to her actions, but make sure that those aren't something that is going to sting everyone. That baby may be yours and then you are genetically tie t ohis woman forever so be as grown-up as you can be when you are this hurt. It's hard I know, i just went through something very similar. When it's all said and done, it won't matter that your not together, but it will matter how you reacted to everything and how the kids involved are taking it.

Be strong and good luck to you. You are in a hard place right now but things will get better, I promise. Think smart and don't overreact.

Answer 2

I don't know the full situation, but trust is definitely going to be an issue if you stay. Staying because of a child could do more harm than good. The relationship you have with your child has nothing to do with the relationship you have with your wife. Is this child really yours? You need to think about this. Can you handle wondering where she is when she leaves the house? When she goes to work? Who is she talking to on the phone? And what steps is she willing to take to make it work? Why did she cheat?
These are questions that are going to be plaguing you for a while. It's hard. I can say that I know that you can get over this with time.

Answer 3

WOW!
A baby is no reason to stay. Life is too short to be miserable. If you stay things will not get any better.
How do you know for sure she is having YOUR? baby? I would pay to have a DNA test once the child is born. Sure it isn't cheap but then again child support for 18 years is more expensive. IF?? the child is yours then you will have to pay child support. It is your responsibility. But well worth the well being of your child. Being a parent is great! Make the effort.
If you were to stay, you would always question the faithfulness of your wife, and have to put up with her lies, strong attitude, and more than likely it is going to be a high stress situation with arguing and harm your child emotionally. I am not always quick to jump to suggest divorce, but in your case, I would RUN to the nearest divorce lawyer.

Answer 4

I would say go, but what is your heart telling you? She is a liar, a manipulator and a cheater. You don't deserve that. And do you think that the baby is really yours? Did she only sleep with the guy once? She is married therefore doesn't need to be hanging out with others guys, except for family. And if she really loved you or respected you, that never would have went down. I hope you make the right decision.

Answer 5

Wow, she has crossed some major lines and now she is having a baby! The marriage sounds like it has some hard times ahead, if she does not mature, and become more trustworthy its not going to work. You have already accepted things you normally would not,do you want to keep living like this? And last, no offense but is the baby yours?? You will probably wind up having to leave. It takes two people to make a marriage work and it sounds like she has not been working at it very much.

Answer 6

Honestly... you only live once and life it too short. To stay together for a child these days just isn't realistic. You could always take her to court when the baby is born... actually make sure it is your first :|.

There are so many other people out there who won't do things like this to you. I would NEVER put up with someone cheating on me... and admitting to it. Ya know what they say... once a cheater always a cheater.

Good luck to you!

Answer 7

You have just described a TRAIN WRECK of a relationship...
First things first..1. A long talk about her dishonesty and covering up on ALL fronts is in order as well as a frank discussion about her intentions in YOUR relationship and marriage to her..... 2. A Paternity test is in order...#3 will take care of it self as soon as you have the test results to #2....
Good luck..For support get yourself to some counseling fast so you can have the chance to work thru the past ,present and future issues you are about to encounter...Best wishes to you what ever your decision....

Answer 8

Or maybe she's having someone else's baby. Sounds like you've been duped into a marriage with someone who is not that into you. Leave. And get a DNA test before you pay an ounce of child support. She sounds like a "Maury" girl. If you don't get a test, she'll have you on TV in a year or two "confessing" her indiscretions and telling you that baby may not be yours.

Answer 9

think of all the things she has lied to you about. what else is she lying and hiding behind your back.
i really feel for you, you sound like a great guy. but bad things happen to everybody.
but are you sure the baby is yours?
if you ask her she is just going to lie to you again. get blood tests to be sure.
as far as staying i think you've been hurt enough.
unless you want you be hurt more then you should stay. but really you need to get rid of her. she is just going to keep hurting you. over and over again.
if the baby is yours then make sure you take care of it. but as far as she goes, you don't owe her anything. the best of luck to you. i hope you find happiness.

Answer 10

man sorry thats F*** Up .. first do u love her
2nd r u sure that that kid is urs . .... u can be the best person in the world but if ur partner dosent respect u ...... move on thers so many woman out their.... man theirs millions .... find a good one .. oh yeah talk about an obortion but dont demand one cause shell Fu*** u with child support