i am a soldier serving in iraq i have only been married since march my wife has done nothing to my family whatso ever.in fact she is the kindest person i have ever met
2007-09-15 06:23:05 · 19 answers · asked by SHEP 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sorry you are going through this, on top of everything else you are responsible for you have to deal with family issues too. My husbands family has been like that with me too. We've been married for 3 1/2 yrs, and its been an uphill battle with regard to his family. I try not to let it get to me, for whatever reason my in laws are either jealous or think I'm not good enough, whatever, its THEIR issue, not mine and not my husbands. It helps that he tells me not to let it get to me, it did at first, but now I just let them say what they feel they need to, smile and go on. Give it some time, and remind your wife that she is your family now. That's probably the problem, your family doesn't want to "share" you, whether they admit it or not. Good luck. Keep reminding your wife that its not her, its them, and its not important, she is.
2007-09-15 06:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by Sun R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You tell your family that you love your wife and nothing in the world is going to change that. Tell them that when you are gone and in Iraq it would mean everything that they could ever do for you to be there for your wife and all be together to support you at this time. Get everyone together and talk with them all and let them know how much you love your wife and everyone of them and you do not need any added stress going into war knowing they are all in a war at home! Tell them that your wife is the most important person in your life and someday will be the future mother of your children and that you hope that they would want to be a part of that someday? Tell them that you hope that everyone can clear up what differences they have with one another and if they cannot like each other at least for you show some respect. If they cannot do this let them all know that is their choice and the only choice that this gives you is to relocate to another state with your wife so the two of you will not cause any stress in their lives when you return home!
2007-09-15 08:28:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get to the bottom of this problem. Start asking your family why they are mistreating your wife and why they are interfering with your marriage. Consider everything they say and try to make the peace. In the end support your wife to the fullest degree.She is your wife,the future mother of your children and the one who makes you happy. Thank you for serving in Iraq .Good luck.
2007-09-15 06:58:34 · answer #3 · answered by Julius C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how your family tries to interfere, you should always stand up for your spouse. You are the one that has to live with her, not them. The most hurtful thing in a relationship is to feel like your spouse is not supporting you or backing you.
If you love your wife, make sure she knows that she is number one in your heart now and you won't let anyone get in the way of that.
2007-09-15 06:35:57 · answer #4 · answered by ladyvlk0001 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thanks for protecting our country. Now you need to wage some tactical warfare with your family. Is it YOUR own family that is interfering? Put them on notice that you won't allow the interference. And then be firm if they continue. They will likely deny that they are doing anything wrong. Don't give in. You deserve support from home...not this bullshit. My in- laws did this with my ex-wife until we divorced ... because my wife never stood up to them. Since its YOUR parents YOU have to put them in their place. Otherwise its just a matter of time. Hopefully they will respect your requests to butt out before you have to use "Shock and Awe" by disowning your family alltogether.
2007-09-15 06:55:33 · answer #5 · answered by absolutely_ridiculous 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same thing myself. I know that's your family, but you have got to stand up for your wife and for your marriage. Let them know that you love her and she is going to remain a part of you life. They are either going to have to accept it or drop back and let you life your life. Don't let them mistreat her, because she isn't going anywhere! She is going to stand right by your side. God Bless you two and good luck.
PS-Thanks so much for your hard work and for serving our Country. You're a Hero!
2007-09-15 06:54:00 · answer #6 · answered by Tequeila B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thank you so very much for your brave service. stay safe!
about your family, how about this, put it out of your mind. your whole family will be there when you get back, so for now, just wish them well and send them peace and goodwill in your heart, but, do not engage your mind about anything they may think about your wife. these are not normal times, my friend, and families can do and say things they really dont mean because they may be a little worried about you and this is the wierd way they show it. i do beleive you when you say she is so sweet. keep your thoughts happy and i KNOW for a fact that your family will embrace this when you are home. i am a mother and my son can tell you i have said dumb things too, to him because of my OWN fear for him. he likes to scuba dive and i freak out every time. so he thinks i hate his scuba diving friends, but i dont, i just want him to not take risks. it is a mother thing, i know in my head that he will be fine, of course, but i am overprotective.
if you want, reasssure your family all is well and thank them for their concern. i so admire you.
2007-09-15 06:39:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well u should search fr answers why are they doing that and look at the big picture but i think as all people do u should defend ur wife unless she did something wrong take ur time and see what she does when ur back from iraq inshallah and i hope u come back saftley and dont take a decesion until u observe everything by ur self with my best wishes
2007-09-15 06:38:40 · answer #8 · answered by mo_n_yo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell them she's your wife, that you love her, and that they need to respect you, your marriage, and your decision to be with her. If they cannot respect your marriage, then tell them youd rather not be around them. Your wife is now your family, your partner-- they should all be secondary.
They shouldn't be doing this to you while you're bravely serving our country. Shame on them.
Best of luck to you and your new wife. Congratulations on your maggiage, and I wish you many long, happy years together.
2007-09-15 06:30:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you probably love your family but tell them that you love her. And say do you not want to make me happy. I mean your family should be with what ever desision you make. I think it is more of a family problem. Not braking up with the wife more of they think that she is #1 instead of them. they want it how it used to be.
2007-09-15 06:28:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋