I'm a new stay at home mom, and husband is very busy with work. I feel like all I do is take care of the baby and the rest of my energy goes to doing little things to keep his spirits up since work is so crazy. He always says "I always tell you how great you look after the baby etc." but how do I get him to understand that I don't want to hear that I look good, I want him to take the time to do someting special for me like I do for him (without hurting his feeilngs....)
2007-09-15 06:03:00 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him? Be honest and frank...sit him down and say
"Honey, I really appreciate the fact that you think I'm still sexy. But sometimes I need a break from the baby. I'm not saying you have to whisk me away for the weekend. But I would realy appreciate if you could do little things just for me once and a while. It doesn't have to be much, make my coffee once and a while, make the bed while i'm changing the baby's diaper. I love you so much but I miss the little things."
Or something like that
2007-09-15 06:08:02 · answer #1 · answered by buddys_angeleyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to lay it out on the line and explain to him how u feel and tell him that I dont need u to tell me but u need his time and attention. My dh works like a madman and I am a SAHM as well and I have had to do the same thing(over and over again, some men dont get it lol). I assure you that if u keep this inside it'll drive a wedge between the 2 of you and u definitely dont want that so keep the lines of communication open and tell him how u feel no holds barred. Do not yell, do not fight about it just explain it w/o beating around the issue as best u can. I'd say that the 2 of you need to make a date night, have family nights, leave notes for one another, just something......shoot i love it if my dh washes a dish lol(now that's love). It's a hard road dealing with what u're going thru just hold on, keep the faith, and work on the relationship(both of u) and all should be well.
2007-09-15 07:00:52 · answer #2 · answered by Candle Queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that YOU can do much here. Except to keep being a good wife and mom. I went through the same thing as a husband/father. It wasn't until I started to talk with moms that I worked with. Most of them were stay home moms for a while before returning to work. Even though my wife was telling me how she felt sometimes it's hard to listen to your spouse because you just consider it nagging or that it will cause arguments. There was something about hearing other woman talk about what they went through that made me think that my wife needed me in a way I never really considered. After that....I made some changes to make sure that she didn't feel so alone. I think she was starting to get depressed before I figured it out.
2007-09-15 06:28:14 · answer #3 · answered by SpeedyGonz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Monica explain to him how you are feeling. Spill out your heart and soul in a mature conversation with your mate. Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. I'm certain that he probably believes what he is doing at present is enough and may actually believe that he is trying to help you feel better about yourself and life. But he needs to be aware that you do appreciate his compliments but that you need more and tell him exactly what it is that you desire. Best of luck.
2007-09-15 06:11:44 · answer #4 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here ya go girl,,,,,,,,,this is so important!!! Let me just say I have learned alot in my years,,,and the best thing I can tell you to do is,,,,,,,,tell your husband you really need to talk to him when he has time,,,,,Tell him you really need to tell him somethings,,,and sit down with him,,,,look him in the eyes,,,and say,,,,,I love you ,,but I need you to understand that I need diff. things now that I'm mother and not working! Tell him you want to be close to him like you were before,,,,and you want to always be able to tell him how you feel,,,,,and just tell him!!!! He will understand,,,,,, YOU have to keep the door of communication open with him,,,even if someone may get they're feelings hurt now and then,,,,,Love heals those who Love each other!!! Goodluck~~
2007-09-15 06:31:59 · answer #5 · answered by angelkisezz50 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it here very kind and clear.....sit him down, after he's come home, had unwind time, and the baby's in bed, and TALK>>TALK>>TALK it out....or you will end up a single mom (still married and cooking and cleaning) at home. Men just don't ''get it''...if they did, Dr. Phil would be off the air instead of in his 6th year and running wide open!
good luck!
2007-09-15 12:14:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him. He may not know that's what you want right now. You have to let him know. Especially if work is crazy, he needs a little reminder from you. I'm sure it will all work out.
2007-09-15 06:30:54 · answer #7 · answered by lawstudntbynite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you have the "new mom blues". Why not suggest finding a sitter and the two of you going out to dinner and a movie? Maybe he thinks that you don't want to do something like that. Suggest it to him. I'll bet that he'll be willing to go. Sometimes, you just need to nudge them along alittle bit. Good luck and have fun on your date!
2007-09-15 06:08:47 · answer #8 · answered by pebbles 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Next time he says that to you look him straight in the eyes and say with a seriouse voice, "show me what you mean!"
2007-09-15 06:39:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to prove that he isn't taking you for granted.
2007-09-15 06:07:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋