Am I doing the right thing by divorcing my husband?

Question

He is always in and out of jail.

Answer 1

Think about it.Now ask yourself if he is doing the right thing by being in jail all the time.Either he needs to clean his act up or he needs to let you live your life.If kids are involved he needs to step up and take care of his responsibilities.He can't take care of anything if he is in jail.

Answer 2

If my wife always in and out of jail i will go for the divorce

Answer 3

I don't know.
I think you need to try everything possible to make it work.

If he is in jail a lot; then you, yourself, are stagnating and you can't move on in your life. Just imagine where you'd like to be in ten years and decide if you can get there with your husband. If you can (that would be really great) but if you can't then it might be time to move on and divorce him.

Answer 4

Of course you are doing the right thing by divorcing the jail bird.......why be married to someone who is in jail more often then he is home?

Answer 5

Follow your heart and it will never lead you wrong. There must be something in jail that he really likes, most men come out and get a good woman and turn there lives around. He has got to want to be with you. so you must do what you is right for you.

Answer 6

Dear Jan C,
It all depends in which category you fall:
You love him and have kids with him... Then find a group of women in your same 'shoes' but at the other side of the bridge; and open your mind and heart to learn from their experience and what it took to help their husbands find a healthier and more productive walk in life.
You don't love him but have kids with him... Try temporarily separation to give him a chance to prove himself trusthworthy of being the right husband for you and good father model for your children. Don't receive him in your house when he gets out of jail until he can support you and the kids. This is if you are willing to give love a chance to come back to your heart hoping to raise your children in a nuclear family rather than a blended family.
You love him and don't have kids... My advise is similar to the above one, give him an opportunity to change, but don't take him back until he's changed.
You don't love him and you don't have kids... Divorce him, why stay if you don't have the love or the ties that would make you stay with him.
Hope this helps. E-mail me any time you want or need someone to talk to. I went through two divorces myself:
1) I had to leave my first husband after 5 years. He was a drug addict, he didn't want to change, he didn't allow anyone to help him, and he became physical abusive towards me, action that I was not going to take at all.
2)My second husband left me for a 6 figure income woman after 7 years of marriage, when our 2nd daughter was 2 weeks old not caring that I had the post-partum depression, and our 4 year old daughter got also depressed because of his choice. He didn't give me a chance to work things out. An update is that he's not with the same woman he left me for, but because of his lack of character there's no coming back with me.
Jan, find which category you are in and try to work towards breaking the in and out of jail cycle. If he's happy being in such cycle and not man enough to reach out for help to be a man of character and take care of himself and his loved ones, then move on.
I am here for you Jan. Good luck!
Your friend,
Bright Light

Answer 7

If the trust, loyalty and love are no longer there, why be married at all? If he doesnt love you enough to work on staying out, then maybe you need to move on too. It seems like he's living his life like he wants to, so maybe you need to do the same. One other thing if youre asking the question you already know the answer. God bless and good luck

Answer 8

yes u need to divorce him, what can he ever offer u in life? he had a choice and he made it, he could have done differently and been a helpmate and comfort to u, instead he chose to do wrong and go to jail. u can't be tied to a person like this, especially if this is a pattern of behavior.

Answer 9

I think so. It's obvious he doesn't care about you that much, or else he would have put a bigger effort into obeying the law, and he wouldn't be in and out of jail. You need to get out while you can.

Answer 10

Well if we look to the Bible for insight into this question IMHO it says to to avoid divorce at all cost. It was considered in ancient Israel a serious sin to seperate form someone who you have been married to. Unless the person has commited fornication you have no grounds for divorcing them, assuming you believe in Jesus Christ and you think there is a God. Who's to say God didn't put you to together for a reason.

You need to help your husband get away from his desire to sin that keeps landing him in jail. You can't scream at him and expect him to learn, all you can do is lead him by example (by you doing whats right) and not contribute to his sinning by supporting him in it.

Joh 4:10 Jesus replied to her, "If you only knew what God's gift is and who is asking you for a drink, you would have asked him for a drink. He would have given you living water."
Joh 4:11 The woman said to him, "Sir, you don't have anything to use to get water, and the well is deep. So where are you going to get this living water?
Joh 4:12 You're not more important than our ancestor Jacob, are you? He gave us this well. He and his sons and his animals drank water from it."
Joh 4:13 Jesus answered her, "Everyone who drinks this water will become thirsty again.
Joh 4:14 But those who drink the water that I will give them will never become thirsty again. In fact, the water I will give them will become in them a spring that gushes up to eternal life."
Joh 4:15 The woman told Jesus, "Sir, give me this water! Then I won't get thirsty or have to come here to get water."
Joh 4:16 Jesus told her, "Go to your husband, and bring him here."
Joh 4:17 The woman replied, "I don't have a husband." Jesus told her, "You're right when you say that you don't have a husband.
Joh 4:18 You've had five husbands, and the man you have now isn't your husband. You've told the truth."
Joh 4:19 The woman said to Jesus, "I see that you're a prophet!

Mal 2:16 "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel. "I hate the person who covers himself with violence," says the LORD of Armies. "Be careful not to be unfaithful."

Mat 19:3 Some Pharisees came to test him. They asked, "Can a man divorce his wife for any reason?"
Mat 19:4 Jesus answered, "Haven't you read that the Creator made them male and female in the beginning
Mat 19:5 and that he said, 'That's why a man will leave his father and mother and will remain united with his wife, and the two will be one'?
Mat 19:6 So they are no longer two but one. Therefore, don't let anyone separate what God has joined together."
Mat 19:7 The Pharisees asked him, "Why, then, did Moses order a man to give his wife a written notice to divorce her?"
Mat 19:8 Jesus answered them, "Moses allowed you to divorce your wives because you're heartless. It was never this way in the beginning.
Mat 19:9 I can guarantee that whoever divorces his wife for any reason other than her unfaithfulness is committing adultery if he marries another woman."
Mat 19:10 The disciples said to him, "If that is the only reason a man can use to divorce his wife, it's better not to get married."
Mat 19:11 He answered them, "Not everyone can do what you suggest. Only those who have that gift can.


1Co 7:9 However, if you cannot control your desires, you should get married. It is better for you to marry than to burn with sexual desire.
1Co 7:10 I pass this command along (not really I, but the Lord): A wife shouldn't leave her husband.
1Co 7:11 If she does, she should stay single or make up with her husband. Likewise, a husband should not divorce his wife.
1Co 7:12 I (not the Lord) say to the rest of you: If any Christian man is married to a woman who is an unbeliever, and she is willing to live with him, he should not divorce her.
1Co 7:13 If any Christian woman is married to a man who is an unbeliever, and he is willing to live with her, she should not divorce her husband.