I'm in a long distance relationship. But this relationship is different from others. I live in Germany and he lives in the states. I met him when he was stationed here in Germany. When it was time for him to go back, he asked me to wait for him for 3 years. Just 'til he's out of the military. He said the military made him go through a divorce once already and he doesn't want to go through that pain again. I love him, but isn't it too much asked? Please give me some advice....
2007-09-15 00:38:52 · 28 answers · asked by amasien86 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ive waited 10 years but nothing happened with my long distance relationship. .. but im not bitter! there are no guarantees in life, even if you are together there will be other reasons to break up. your situation will be doubly hard to maintain since you are miles apart. what i would suggest though is try and give it a chance and see if it works for you but do not lose out on the possibility that you may not end up with each other. there are no fast and guaranteed rules. you have to learn to take a chance and let love lead you if it doesnt work in the end. it's still an experience you can learn from.
thing is if this love is yours to keep the universe will conspire to give it to you despite the distance ;-) good luck
2007-09-15 00:50:37 · answer #1 · answered by satsuki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to sound cynical here - but no I wouldnt wait three years.
Nor would I do the long distance relationship thing for three years - a few months at a pinch, maybe.
Why didnt he arrange for you to go the US and be living near him? Ive had that offer before - I didnt take it as I felt I didnt know the person well enough but hey, thats just me.
Why do you have to wait in Germany for him to decide if he wants you or not?
Also - how did the military make him go through a divorce?
Bit of buck-passing there...
I would kindly say goodbye - dont get drawn into any long drawn out email and telephone debates and arguements, just pull the pin and vanish.
2007-09-15 00:47:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
if i personally, really loved a guy I would respect that 3 years but still keep in contact. it might be hard to reconnect after so long but at least stay in touch. I, personally really love a guy i pushed him away and now I'm sorry i did i still miss him and his company because he's hilarious, but i don't want him back see 17-27 my age is 27 now,of and on again off again relationship was enough I've had my share of broken hearts and broke a few in the process now I'm alone and sometimes wish i wasn't. So you and only you could decide how much you're willing to put up with and decide. Personally i would keep in contact Internet or phone and not be afraid to share everything and anything that goes on in life... i still do with my ex,he's like a close friend.
2007-09-15 00:56:37 · answer #3 · answered by don't be a hater 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask the question that means you are having doubts. I would say do not wait for him. Have a life and if he comes back to you in three years and you still feel the same way, then commit yourself to a relationship.
By the way, the military does not make people go through divorces, in fact the strongly discourage it. I know that you may have not heard him right, or lost the meaning in translation, but if this is exactly what he said, then I would peg him as a liar and you don't need that in your life.
2007-09-15 00:53:07 · answer #4 · answered by simmychick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all,ask yourself. Am l really comfortable and do l trust him and myself. Long distance relationship doesn't really last long. l was once in that kind of relationship but you know what don't put too much hope on it. Times will change a
person looks so does the character of a person. He might get to know someone else back ln US and it will happen to you as well. Fate is something we can't predict,so let the nature takes it own course. lf you meant to be with each other,
congrats but lf not congratulations cos you 're going to meet someone better than him. So once again relax yourself and take a deep breath.Exhale and listen to your heart and it will tell you what to do.
2007-09-15 01:02:55 · answer #5 · answered by LUCKY BOY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to do some digging before you agree to the 3 years. Possibly put things on hold and if you both are available once he's done then reconnect.
A lot of military men and women have their "deployment relationships" and then families, wives, girlfriends etc back at home who are also "waiting" for their deployment to be over so they can come back home. Everyone is looking for companionship and some are just looking for that while they are gone from their families and home.
2007-09-15 00:47:04 · answer #6 · answered by That NC Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
imagine you didn't wait, do you want to wonder the rest of your life that if you had waited, if it would have worked out? Maybe you should have waited, or maybe he was worth waiting for?
Sometimes people ARE worth waiting for- 3 yrs seems like an awful long time, but really it goes by faster than you think.
If you only wait in sympathy for him and don't want to hurt his feelings, then you should not wait. But if you love him and can imagine spending the rest of your life with him, then wait. Would hate to see you miss out on a good thing. Ask also, would you want him to wait for you if the tables were turned?
I would live my life, and go out with friends, yes I would even dance with guys, and talk to them, etc... but would make no commitment with anyone unless I met someone else I truly felt alot for- then I would not wait. Take it one day at a time- and always live your life as if it is your last day.
2007-09-15 02:00:31 · answer #7 · answered by brandy2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to wait three years while you go about your life. Live each day, have fun, date others, be who you are as if he were not in the picture. Tell him to call when his three years are up to see if YOU are still interested in him, not the other way around. This is YOUR life, honey.
p.s. Not even the army can MAKE someone go through a divorce. Something sounds not quite right. I would say he is probably still married.
2007-09-15 01:22:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was in the military and I can truthfully say that they would never force someone to get a divorce. As a matter of fact if a soldier is married and his spouse is in a different location the military sends the spouse money. Hence the milatary is pro family and takes care to see that they are taken care of properly. It is safe to say this guy is lying to you and has no intentions of seeing you again. Sorry to be so blunt but it is an honest answer.
2007-09-15 00:51:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well in fairy tales, you would wait the long harsh 3 years with out your love by your side until one day he comes to your front door and asks for your hand.
sweet, i know.
But this is reality, and reality is that most people would NEVER wait that long. And you couldn't of known him that long. It is a little to much to ask for, but you have to look at it in his place, he wants you but cant have you until he gets out of the military, he probably thinks about you, and worries about you falling in love with another man all the time.
You have a chance to have a love story, something that I might never get, and most people will never have. If you truly love him, and you don't have any worrys that you guys wont make it, then why not, if you don't you will question your action for the rest of you life.
2007-09-15 00:56:12 · answer #10 · answered by duckie52290 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋