Please HELP, im so confused i cheated on my partner?

Question

I have been with my partner for going on 5 years and we also have a two yr old daughter together we were getting married in december of this year, i went to the local pub 6 weeks ago and met someone and kissed him. 6 weeks later and more has happened i have slept with mr x 4 times while partner has been home looking after our daughter. My partner is mr perffect but why am i constantly calling, visiting mr x i think im in love with him and out of love with my partner im so confused any advicce would be so helpful. Please dont judge me i already feel like ****.

Answer 1

God, it sounds like you really are in a situation.

Something mustn't be right at home for you to be playing away. The obvious reason is that you might be looking for some excitement or 'mr perfect' at home has forgotten that he can be wonderful and a great dad but unless he tells you how beautiful and amazing you are from time to time, you might search that ego boost somewhere else.

Cut off Mr X - anyone who would sleep with a woman who has a boyfriend and young kid is no keeper. It sounds like you are genuinely in love with your current partner but just need a kick.

Buy some sexy underwear and put all that energy into gaining some sexy spice and maybe talk to your partner to tell him you are feeling a little neglected or insecure.

Good luck hunny x

Answer 2

if u are gulity why do you keep going back to mr x?
are you are in love or in infactuation with mr x? If you are seriously messed up maybe you should call off the wedding as it is easier to make a clean break rather than wait and have a messy divorce.
Another reason is that you are comfortable with your partner and that the excitement has gone ( as it does - i've been with mine 10yrs but have remained faithful - as tempted as i have been at times!!)
If mr X cannot give you a stable life then call it off. However I do think you should tell your partner the truth - no matter how hard it may be and how hurtful.
The main thing from this is are you ready to settle down with one person for the rest of your life? People say if you cheat once on somebody it is easier a second time.
The choice is yours and it's not an easy decision, anyhow. I hope i have given you enough to think about tho'. Wish you luck xx

Answer 3

You have to look long and hard and ask yourself what is important - your partner, who is a really nice guy and the father of your child, or some fling that is only going to end BADLY?
Have you even asked Mr Fling what he thinks would happen if you were to suddenly become single? BTW a word of warning - its easy for mr fling to say all the right things to you at the moment while you are someone elses problem - become single, and there is a very good chance he will vanish and FAST.
Oh and dont go out to the pub or bars without your other half for a while - sounds like you cant trust yourself not to do questionable things at the moment.

Answer 4

It's tough, but you have to put an end to your affaire with Mr. X. If he cares about you he should be able to understand you want to be happy with your boyfriend. After 5 years the excitement can have seeped out of the relation.
I'm not sure if you should tell your bf, but you should stop seeing X right away.
You could tell your bf you think the relation has become a bit in a drag. (Not sure about the english expression) and that you want some more excitement, adventure back in your relation. You are more then a mom, he is more then a dad.
Mr. perfect is boring - there's no challenge left, you won him, he won you, done. Try to bring the challenge back, go on dates, go away for a night in a hotel, pretend you just met.
Go take a course together - maybe a diving course or dancing course, start something new together. If that's too expensive, go walking together regularly - just do something new together.
Again about the telling part - Saying you slept with X several times will really damage your relation a lot. However, saying you have feelings for another man but don't want to, that you want to be in love with your bf and stay with him, might be better. This way he sees there's work to be done in the relation AND that you still care about him. It will still hurt him, but it is imo better then telling the complete truth as it will always be between you.

Next time you notice you start having feelings for someone or feel your life is scarily perfect and you need excitement, tell your bf - act before you get into trouble. Make sure this never happens again.

Answer 5

First I wanted to see, cheating will never be a GOOD reason to commit on some one, a person who cheats is certainly not marriage material or relationship material to be serious in. Remember a relationship is 100/100, a man who loves a woman (truly) cheating will never cross his minds. As a man, what he said is a HUGE indication that he is most likely to cheat, not saying he will, but that is a type of question you asked that will result in a deep answer, meaning that when he answered you, that's how he felt coming from his heart. I will give you a example. 1.His first answer," Well I feel when some one cheats, its for a good reason" 2. Alternate answer, " I think people who cheats are not worth a damn." Put one and one together, which one will you be safer with? Its 2010, im starting to notice in relationships, people think its cool to just sleep around like idiots and not be wrong for it, if you tell them they are wrong when they cheat, its like YOUR the bad guy now. Hope this helps. Just watch out

Answer 6

I wouldn't call it love. I would call it more like infatuation. You've been having the same partner for 5 years, and having someone new is a new excitement/stimulation in your life. But if you have mr.perfect already, dont blow it off! Cause once you get caught, you dont know if mr.perfect will still be with you. Also, divorce or seperation is not good for your daughter. She is too young to understand why mommy and daddy are not together.You should break it off with mr.x completely. Don't even think about him cause if you do, you might pick up that phone and call him. Try to focus on your partner and do something different...something that you and him likes...something that will bring you two close with a little bit of excitement. For example, a fantacy he likes or what are his fetishes...etc.

Answer 7

I think if you can picture your partner with someone else and it doesn't bother you then you may well have fallen out of love with him. Try concentrating your thoughts on the current relationship for now and decide if it would be over even if you had no one else to move on to.
If you discover that you would stay put then maybe the grass just looks greener but in reality would not support a long term relationship.
Be careful that you don't give up a good thing for that new and exciting feeling that will pass in time.

Answer 8

If you are already cheating, you will keep cheating, there is no sense in marrying someone that you will continue to hurt. Does Mr. x feel the same way about you, it seems as a sexual relationship which men will take advantage of as long as they can, try finding out what mr. x feels for you, see if this affair is even worth it. Either way someone will be hurt, but you might have peace with yourself if you settle it now. Also you cant be with you fiance anymore, you will cheat again, I know from personal experience, things happen for a reason, if you let him go now, he might find happiness again, dont settle, never settle, its not good, for you, him or the kid. You will resent him and end up leaving anyways. What a mess sweetie? dont beat yourself up it happens unexpectedly sometimes.

Answer 9

First thing you should do is stop cheating.Put yourself in your partners shoes,just to get some perspective at least.
Have you thought about the future?If you end it with your partner and go hook up with mr x,how will it affect your daughters life?What about everyone else involved?Is mr x ready for you and an instant family?Honestly ,I think maybe you should get some counseling.You are unhappy about something and I don't think you know exactly what it is or how to deal with it.Good luck to you.

Answer 10

oh sweetie i am so sorry you are so confused right now and you need to think about this mr x is exciting because it is new and unexpected and honestly he doesnt expect anything from you and all you expect is a good time. then at home you have a family but you and your partner are in a rut ask yourself honestly how can you love someone you have only known for 6 weeks as opposed to loving someone you have known for 5 years and have a child with think about it ok no pressure from either side then if mr x is what you want and you are what he wants i wish you all the luck in the world