My step father was already caught cheating on my mom three times and my mom got pissed off . I lost my respect for him actually I didn't respect him at all . She found out that he did this and avoided talking to him for weeks . But then he gives this f u c k i ng dumba s s another chance . What the hell is wrong with her? This guy keeps on telling me to save water when washing the dishes and I do to the point where a lot of water doesn't even come out and I ask myself " He's probably saving up money for his other wife " . I'm having trouble , I just don't want this guy in my life anymore . He is so proud of himself , his pride is always something he has to protect . His version of fatherhood is tyranny , I miss my real dad he treats me with a respect that a son deserves . What do I do?? My mom is just falling for the same damn trick!??!?!?!?!?
2007-09-14 19:57:00 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My father is in the Philippines and is still waiting for his Visa and finishing up his immigration papers , it will take a long time .
2007-09-15 06:41:05 · update #1
I'm no psychologist, but I do remember a few things you've mentioned about your family. Your mom may worry that being without this man would put the family in an even worse situation without the money (small though it may be) this man brings in. If her arthritis is still active, she probably not only suffers pain (which clouds judgment), but doubts her ability to support--economically and emotionally--a teenaged son and a teenaged autistic daughter. And her fear of having the sole responsibility for these, and whatever other challenges your family may have, would be enough to reduce her to inaction. And, she may feel that two divorces would show that she's a complete failure as a wife.
You are an experienced computer user, and a good internet searcher. Maybe you could search out some free women's counseling services in San Francisco--ones she could get to easily--and print them off or write them down for her. And you could bookmark for her to read some sites that discuss situations similar to hers and offer concrete, sensible suggestions.
Most of all, you can tell her privately, lovingly, and without anger that you love and respect her, and feel she deserves the opportunity to love and respect herself. I imagine she would also be comforted by your reassurance that you will stick with her and help her and your sister in whatever ways are necessary, that she won't be alone no matter what decision she makes. Then remember, one conversation won't turn the tide, but your loving patience and mature responses to her and various family situations over time will make a difference for the better.
You're a good and loving kid to feel this concern not just for yourself, but for your mom. I wish you all the best.
2007-09-15 06:35:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there any way you can live with your dad????? Explain the situation to your dad. Ask if he can step in and speak for you.
If this is not possible, keep a low profile. Learn from what you are living. Do not ever treat a woman the way your mom is being treated! She may be afraid to admit that she made such a horrible choice. She may be tricking herself into believing him because she has no self worth. Maybe she is afraid she cannot support you on her own. Can you talk to her alone when he is not around? Be supportive of her as your parent but let her know that she is worth better treatment as a woman? And that you deserve to be treated as a human being, not a servant.
2007-09-14 20:20:08 · answer #2 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard situation because your mom is probably scared to dump the guy cuz she'll be alone....or she might think she can't do any better. Sounds like some self-esteem issues since she's taken that fool back 3 times.
Have you told her how you felt? Tell her again that you don't respect that man because of the way he treats you both. And tell her you think he's a bad father.
Can you possibly live with your biological dad?
I don't think there is much you can do to get that guy out of the house....she has to figure out that he's no good for either of you & kick him out on her own.
2007-09-14 20:04:19 · answer #3 · answered by Sunshine Queen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
where is your real dad? can you go stay with him? In all states there is an age limit when the child reaches that age they can choose where to stay. Have a one on one chat with your mom. Tell her how you feel. Tell her you do not like the way this guy is walking all over her. Once a cheater always a cheater. Becuase of this your mother will always think it was her fault. She is never going to feel pretty and she will ask herself all the time what did that other lady have that she did not and is she to fat. Do you know who this lady was that your step dad cheated with? I would try and find out and if that cheater lady has a hubby I would go tell her husband or go to her and tell her she ruined your family
2007-09-14 20:10:50 · answer #4 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes women choose to stay for the financial stability. Talk to your mom about this. All in all, if he is not abusing you, it is your mother's decision. Not a great role model for you though.
Can you live with your Dad?
Hang in and good luck!
2007-09-14 21:44:06 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the thing........she will eventually realize that this man is a jerk but she is not quite there yet. Most women want to give their relationship a second chance...a third chance....but eventually we catch on it's never gonna work.
When I remarried my daughter was a teenager. She did not like him for many reasons and she was right....but me, being a woman in love, it took me 4 years to come up to the same conclusion. I would like to add that even if my daughter tried to show me the evil side of my new husband...it did not accelerate the process...I had to come to terms with this relationship on my own.
It's her love life, you don't have to agree with it but you have to respect her choice.
2007-09-14 20:08:28 · answer #6 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This guy cheated on your Mom 3 times? And she's still with him? Your Mom's a loser! She has NO self estem. And this idiot hates you and wants you out of the way.
Tell your Mom that she needs to seek consuelling or decide on who she wants, you or that *** that's cheated on her. I hope you can get a job and get out on your own soon. Your Mom isn't stable.
2007-09-14 20:29:06 · answer #7 · answered by Rudy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all i can say is your mom needs major help. shes either afraid to leave him or doesnt wanna be alone. have long talks with your mom. convince her she has to let him go. and if she loves you she will make the best for you. just keep talking to her IN PRIVATE about this guy and remind her what hes done. and lets just hope she realizes that she needs to get away from him.
2007-09-14 20:30:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mom you want to live with your dad because you don't like the way he treats her and you for that matter. That might make her leave his sorry cheating ***.
2007-09-14 20:13:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you live with your dad? Your mother doesn't deserve custody. She probably has low self esteem and other negative qualities that are harmful to you and your family life. Basically, she's a shitty mother. Sorry dude.
2007-09-14 20:08:15 · answer #10 · answered by skunk pie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋